How come females do not comprehend the costs of children?

[RickTheToad]

Being a mother is sacrificial. It is also a choice. Going into the military is sacrificial as well. Also (in US) a choice. Different risk sets. Both potentially life risk. Mortality at childbirth remains a real issue in poor countries. Of course lots of things carry greater risk in poor countries. It is what it is.

Pregnancy and childbirth is potentially life threatening to both mother and child even in the US. I nearly lost myself and my son at birth. I was lucky and we were both fine but my son was in NICU for a week.

I deeply respect military men but this idea that parenting (and the physical risks of pregnancy and childbirth) are somehow not worthy of gratitude is rather unfortunate. Without a mother and the care she provides, none of us exist. Without those who sacrifice for our freedom...our freedoms would not exist.

It is about values. You do not value the same things I do. Perhaps you are not a parent, and do not choose to be one. That’s fine. If you ever become a parent you and the child’s mother will find it is indeed a sacrificial choice.

Sacrifices of time, priorities and finances for starters. Ask your parents if they had to make sacrifices to have you and raise you. I’m sure they did.

I disagree. One is a willing choice, one, in many cases isn't. Sweetie, as I've posted here about my past, I've been on my own since I was 16, and I'm 38 now, so my parents and raising me really doesn't go together. My parents.. geez.. Not people to follow, an sacrifices.. LOL. That's a good one. This would be reversed. So, my parents didn't raise or sacrifice for me. I raised myself. 17 went into the military, and was on my own from there. Parents and family did nothing. In fact, I had to bail their a-s-s out when they came to me hat in hand. Luckily, I do not hold grudges and assisted. I am nothing like them and I am proud to say that. You shouldn't assume everyone had a rosy childhood.

In general, females feel childbirth and being a mother is so amazing is unreal. It's not a miracle. It's not a gift from God. It's nature. Billions of animals including humans, do it every year. As a mother, I am sure you know how it happens. I deliver babies all the time, so perhaps that makes me a bit jaded, but it's no miracle. Well, the miracle is actually from the docs, RN's and PAs who have to deliver a baby who has not turned or has the umbilical cord wrapped around their neck, or we find out the mother is hooked on drugs, so now the baby is. So, in that case, yes, it's a miracle that the medical professionals know how to help and address the situation. Otherwise, the fact of the matter is sperm comes out of the penis and enters the vagina. If an egg is in the right place at the right time and a spermatozoa is able to penetrate the egg; then you have a chance to become pregnant.

@BeExcellent, I am not trying to be a d ick BTW, just breaking it down how I see it. I am not saying I am right or wrong, just how I process it. But there is a huge difference in being a mother/father and a mom/dad. Congrats you are a mom to three adults (by now). I am sure, since you seem pretty level headed they are progressing fine in life. However, just because you may be a good mom, doesn't mean others are.

 

[RickTheToad]

You both have good points, and yes, different values. As they say, "you do you". Btw, I find that saying funny, 20 years ago it would be taken as "go F*** yourself"...Lmao

An observation- Catholics aren't fond of birth control, this may be some of the reason they have lots of kiddos! But, they really are a gift!!!
My life would be totally different without my girl. I would not give up having her for ANYTHING..

And no disrespect to Catholics, I went to a Catholic church for a while, wasn't quite for me. Just a personal belief. But I respect their beliefs. Thought of joining, but my vasectomy would likely have been frowned upon. And w/ a prior divorce, I couldn't take Communion. My church has Communion every Sunday, and I do take it very seriously.

Sorry you had such trouble in childbirth "BE", sometimes people forget that can be a very risky ordeal. Kind of like serving your country like "RTT" (Btw, thank you for your service as well...sorry to hear of the disability...Respect well given, from myself.)

Military saved me. It taught me how to take control of me. However, I never had a disability, treated many of them for others, but aside from some close calls, I didn't lose any limbs. There was a parachute incident, but that's for another time to discuss. Flashbacks aren't fun at times, but we soldier on and take control of our lives. Everyone has problems, mine are no different than others.

Yes, you are correct that some females have issues with childbirth, and I am not stating they don't. However, statistically speaking, the majority of females do not. This of course, depends on the health, age, drug use, genes, etc. of the female.

 

[Lookatu]

Being a parent is sacrificial in nature when done correctly.

I put Mother’s Day & Father’s Day up there with Veterans Day. Why? All are celebrations of selfless roles and duties.

x2
I do agree that it's a choice but to be an "effective" parent does require sacrifice, selflessness, investment amongst other things. No one is perfect but there are those that don't even want to aim to improve themselves as a father or mother. I know several parents that really shouldn't be parents.

Anyone can be a parent but to be effective, one needs to be the total opposite of a selfish narcissist, which the internet tends to breed more and more of lately. My $.02