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How come females do not comprehend the costs of children?

RickTheToad

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The GF called last night and while we were talking one of her friend called. She asked to take the call and then called me back informing me her friend's brother is having another kid... There 5th apparently. I said very good for him and his family. I hope he can afford the 5th one. She then said why do you always bring up money and kids? Kids are a blessing. I can understand one or two, possibly three if finances can afford it. However, five in this day and age? Yes it would be a huge concern to me, apparently not to her and other females. She also earns about 110k a year, so she's not concerned about money.

Please, someone tell me what I am missing here.
 

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DelayedGratification

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Please, someone tell me what I am missing here.
Having been there, done that, I can say that the maternal hormones run strong in that gender. Truly frightening how much it suspends any and all rational thought. It took me over two years to convince my now-ex that having a third was not a good plan, and that a better plan was for me to get snipped.

Seemed pretty non-controversial to me... :rolleyes:
 

Who Dares Win

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Women comprehend the cost of things that they are supposed to pay when such things force them to review their habits...and their spending.
 

AttackFormation

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Lookatu

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These are the same women that probably pay $120 for a massage each week or don't mind paying $6 for a f'ickin cupcake. lol

Men shouldn't let any women dictate how many kids or when they want kids. It should always be a mutual decision.

If the friend's brother makes decent money and he also wanted to have the 5th one then I don't see anything wrong with it.
 
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Vice

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It is an exercise in futility to expect women to hold themselves accountable for just about anything.
 

backseatjuan

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Please, someone tell me what I am missing here.
I remember you done Jewish dating online?

She definitely wants kids and is considering it with you. This is bad. For some reason I remember my girlfriend from Uzbekistan, she was nuts like that. Always wanting family and kids, in love and stuff. Until this day I'm like eww. It's not about money son.

RUN FOREST RUN!!
 

backseatjuan

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Though, her dad was cool. I remember smoking weed together. Going to river, they have nice rivers there, and mountains that are far and high. Mountain can be 50 km away but you see it and it's huge, as if near. Read my mutants thread. People there are alcoholics, that has lasting effects through generations.
 

bcude

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Please, someone tell me what I am missing here.
Probably because she, like most women want to become a mother one day and want to warm you up about that thought while not having the "but, can we afford it"-card thrown in the face when it's time. It's annoying to her and your stupid logical thinking male brain can't see the beautiful nuances in bearing a child and only think about money which is frustrating, just like the choice of overt communication men use lack nuance compared to the woman-ese covert language. It ruins all the fun and her fantasies.

My ex told me one day that her sister told her bf she wanted a child, and he responded with "can YOU afford it?" which made her absolutely furious. Not the best of responses from the guy tbf but my ex most probably wanted to manipulate me into obedience having the go ahead when it's time.
 
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Alvafe

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Probably because she, like most women want to become a mother one day and want to warm you up about that thought while not having the "but, can we afford it"-card thrown in the face when it's time. It's annoying to her and your stupid logical thinking male brain can't see the beautiful nuances in bearing a child and only think about money which is frustrating, just like the choice of overt communication men use lack nuance compared to the woman-ese covert language. It ruins all the fun and her fantasies.

My ex told me one day that her sister told her bf she wanted a child, and he responded with "can YOU afford it?" which made her absolutely furious. Not the best of responses from the guy tbf but my ex most probably wanted to manipulate me into obedience having the go ahead when it's time.
not best reponse? that is the best reponse, he is already telling her if she get preggo it will not be from him and she will be alone he is not a foll to stay around.

also guys, you want woman to think in the future? children look at the future? or they only think on they imediate needs? woman ARE like childrens, they will only look for they imediate needs, don't matter if you have to pay for the kids, or someone else for that matter, there is nothing else, you should alwyas protect yourself, hence why i'm a huge fan of condoms, make sure you will keep this kind of thing far from you
 
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Robert28

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Women don’t think long term that’s why. Why do you think so many women reflect on their bad choices when they reach their 40’s and up? Some women do this earlier but for the most part they wait until they’re much older.
 

RickTheToad

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An actual sample size for your title.
Cute.

These are the same women that probably pay $120 for a massage each week or don't mind paying $6 for a f'ickin cupcake. lol

Men shouldn't let any women dictate how many kids or when they want kids. It should always be a mutual decision.

If the friend's brother makes decent money and he also wanted to have the 5th one then I don't see anything wrong with it.
Nah, she's not a materialistic person. If anything, she buys me a lot of things that I never asked for or needed. They are nice gifts, but I'd rather she save her $$ then spend on me or her.

I remember you done Jewish dating online?

She definitely wants kids and is considering it with you. This is bad. For some reason I remember my girlfriend from Uzbekistan, she was nuts like that. Always wanting family and kids, in love and stuff. Until this day I'm like eww. It's not about money son.

RUN FOREST RUN!!
Same lady. I have no issues on the kids part, but I'm not there yet. A year is not long enough to vent a partner for kids.

Probably because she, like most women want to become a mother one day and want to warm you up about that thought while not having the "but, can we afford it"-card thrown in the face when it's time. It's annoying to her and your stupid logical thinking male brain can't see the beautiful nuances in bearing a child and only think about money which is frustrating, just like the choice of overt communication men use lack nuance compared to the woman-ese covert language. It ruins all the fun and her fantasies.

My ex told me one day that her sister told her bf she wanted a child, and he responded with "can YOU afford it?" which made her absolutely furious. Not the best of responses from the guy tbf but my ex most probably wanted to manipulate me into obedience having the go ahead when it's time.
Ain't going to happen. If/when I have children, I will reach my limit of two and then get a vasectomy. If I cannot find a lady who meets my requirements, I will go it alone.
 

BeExcellent

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@RickTheToad they are not the once paying for the kids, it is always the supposed father, step dad, or big daddy government.
Advice from the old lady:

Children are expensive. Very expensive. I should know, I’ve got three and my son to start university this fall.

Children are also a great blessing and legacy.

As many of you here know I was the breadwinner in my family while my ex husband was a full time father for 10 years. So I had to be pregnant, give birth, and pay for everything. You bet your ass I (and other women) are well aware that kids are expensive. I’d have all sorts of travel experiences, residences & things if I never had kids. I wouldn’t be anchored to schools or school schedules either...I’d be free to do whatever...

Children are a choice and one best made seriously taking all factors into account. But if another family wants to have tons of kids? That’s their choice for their reasons.

Where I live there are lots of big Catholic families that have 6+ children. Lots of 8 passenger vans in the Catholic parking lot for mass. Some of these families are wealthy. Others are decidedly middle class or working class. But they love children so they are joyous to have a big brood.

It’s a very personal choice. Most women do want to be mothers after all. It’s what a woman’s body is specifically designed to do.

All of you go tell your mothers thank you for the things they sacrificed to raise you, sometimes in spite of financial hardship...

Happy Mother’s Day

Cheers
 

RickTheToad

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Advice from the old lady:

Children are expensive. Very expensive. I should know, I’ve got three and my son to start university this fall.

Children are also a great blessing and legacy.

As many of you here know I was the breadwinner in my family while my ex husband was a full time father for 10 years. So I had to be pregnant, give birth, and pay for everything. You bet your ass I (and other women) are well aware that kids are expensive. I’d have all sorts of travel experiences, residences & things if I never had kids. I wouldn’t be anchored to schools or school schedules either...I’d be free to do whatever...

Children are a choice and one best made seriously taking all factors into account. But if another family wants to have tons of kids? That’s their choice for their reasons.

Where I live there are lots of big Catholic families that have 6+ children. Lots of 8 passenger vans in the Catholic parking lot for mass. Some of these families are wealthy. Others are decidedly middle class or working class. But they love children so they are joyous to have a big brood.

It’s a very personal choice. Most women do want to be mothers after all. It’s what a woman’s body is specifically designed to do.

All of you go tell your mothers thank you for the things they sacrificed to raise you, sometimes in spite of financial hardship...

Happy Mother’s Day

Cheers
The sacrifice is usually overstated. The child never have a voice in whether to be born or not., so the sacrifice, as some people say, is voluntary. I am sure if you ask a lot people from broken homes if they'd chose the family that they were born into, they'd opted for something else.

Mother's day is a Hallmark holiday, nothing more.

- Although Jarvis was successful in founding Mother's Day, she became resentful of the commercialization of the holiday. By the early 1920s, Hallmark Cards and other companies had started selling Mother's Day cards. Jarvis believed that the companies had misinterpreted and exploited the idea of Mother's Day, and that the emphasis of the holiday was on sentiment, not profit. As a result, she organized boycotts of Mother's Day, and threatened to issue lawsuits against the companies involved.[16] Jarvis argued that people should appreciate and honor their mothers through handwritten letters expressing their love and gratitude, instead of buying gifts and pre-made cards.[15] Jarvis protested at a candy makers' convention in Philadelphia in 1923, and at a meeting of American War Mothers in 1925. By this time, carnations had become associated with Mother's Day, and the selling of carnations by the American War Mothers to raise money angered Jarvis, who was arrested for disturbing the peace.[15][16]
 
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BeExcellent

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Appreciate the dissertation. Being a parent is sacrificial in nature when done correctly. Small children are helpless and must be tended to by their parents often at the inconvenience or imposition on the parent.

Good parents become good advisors to their children and later in life examples and hopefully friends.

If you personally don’t value the sacrifices made in raising you...that’s up to you.

I think Mother’s Day has much more merit than say Valentines Day. I put Mother’s Day & Father’s Day up there with Veterans Day. Why? All are celebrations of selfless roles and duties.

But back to the original thread...having children or not is a reflection of your values. People have different sets of values. Attitudes on children & parenting are reflective of that.

This other family values children. Many women do as well. You value money over family. Some people do. But money is not what creates meaningfulness in your life...it’s just a tool. Relationships and accomplishments are what bring meaning. Many people find family deeply meaningful and worth making a priority over other things.
 

RickTheToad

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Appreciate the dissertation. Being a parent is sacrificial in nature when done correctly. Small children are helpless and must be tended to by their parents often at the inconvenience or imposition on the parent.

Good parents become good advisors to their children and later in life examples and hopefully friends.

If you personally don’t value the sacrifices made in raising you...that’s up to you.

I think Mother’s Day has much more merit than say Valentines Day. I put Mother’s Day & Father’s Day up there with Veterans Day. Why? All are celebrations of selfless roles and duties.

But back to the original thread...having children or not is a reflection of your values. People have different sets of values. Attitudes on children & parenting are reflective of that.

This other family values children. Many women do as well. You value money over family. Some people do. But money is not what creates meaningfulness in your life...it’s just a tool. Relationships and accomplishments are what bring meaning. Many people find family deeply meaningful and worth making a priority over other things.
Respectfully, I disagree. Having children is an individual choice. The choice to "sacrifice" as you say is taken upon the mother and usually the father for their need or desire for children (or a legacy). Many countries people go into the military as a way to get out of their current situation and better themselves. As a veteran myself, I kinda take offense when you placed Hallmark holiday's in the same league as millions of men (and a few thousand women) who've actually sacrificed their lives and their wellbeing for strangers. Dying on tour is bad, coming back with PTSD and/or a lost limb much worst. Please, don't put us in the same league as a Hallmark holiday; any of them.

While children are great and having them willingly is 100% I support. However, it's not selfless nor a sacrifice. It's a choice two people (hopefully) made together to start a family.
 

Georgepithyou

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If a poor person in nigeria could have 7 kids I'm sure you can easly afford 5
 

BeExcellent

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Respectfully, I disagree. Having children is an individual choice. The choice to "sacrifice" as you say is taken upon the mother and usually the father for their need or desire for children (or a legacy). Many countries people go into the military as a way to get out of their current situation and better themselves. As a veteran myself, I kinda take offense when you placed Hallmark holiday's in the same league as millions of men (and a few thousand women) who've actually sacrificed their lives and their wellbeing for strangers. Dying on tour is bad, coming back with PTSD and/or a lost limb much worst. Please, don't put us in the same league as a Hallmark holiday; any of them.

While children are great and having them willingly is 100% I support. However, it's not selfless nor a sacrifice. It's a choice two people (hopefully) made together to start a family.
Being a mother is sacrificial. It is also a choice. Going into the military is sacrificial as well. Also (in US) a choice. Different risk sets. Both potentially life risk. Mortality at childbirth remains a real issue in poor countries. Of course lots of things carry greater risk in poor countries. It is what it is.

Pregnancy and childbirth is potentially life threatening to both mother and child even in the US. I nearly lost myself and my son at birth. I was lucky and we were both fine but my son was in NICU for a week.

I deeply respect military men but this idea that parenting (and the physical risks of pregnancy and childbirth) are somehow not worthy of gratitude is rather unfortunate. Without a mother and the care she provides, none of us exist. Without those who sacrifice for our freedom...our freedoms would not exist.

It is about values. You do not value the same things I do. Perhaps you are not a parent, and do not choose to be one. That’s fine. If you ever become a parent you and the child’s mother will find it is indeed a sacrificial choice.

Sacrifices of time, priorities and finances for starters. Ask your parents if they had to make sacrifices to have you and raise you. I’m sure they did.
 

glass half full

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You both have good points, and yes, different values. As they say, "you do you". Btw, I find that saying funny, 20 years ago it would be taken as "go F*** yourself"...Lmao

An observation- Catholics aren't fond of birth control, this may be some of the reason they have lots of kiddos! But, they really are a gift!!!
My life would be totally different without my girl. I would not give up having her for ANYTHING..

And no disrespect to Catholics, I went to a Catholic church for a while, wasn't quite for me. Just a personal belief. But I respect their beliefs. Thought of joining, but my vasectomy would likely have been frowned upon. And w/ a prior divorce, I couldn't take Communion. My church has Communion every Sunday, and I do take it very seriously.

Sorry you had such trouble in childbirth "BE", sometimes people forget that can be a very risky ordeal. Kind of like serving your country like "RTT" (Btw, thank you for your service as well...sorry to hear of the disability...Respect well given, from myself.)
 
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