There may be attraction, there may be affection, there may be understanding. But if a person never makes you feel chosen, something inside you is always left hanging.
I'm not talking about constant attention or obsessive confirmation. I'm talking about those minimal signs that make it clear the other person is truly deciding to be there: reaching out to you, making time, talking about themselves, proposing something, not always leaving you in the position of having to guess.
Sometimes the problem isn't even a total lack of interest. It's a lukewarm interest. Just enough to keep you there, but not enough to make you feel truly desired.
I think this is one of the most subtle forms of loneliness: being involved with someone, but never feeling truly chosen.
And it's also extremely frustrating. What if this person then says they're in love? What if I were in love with them? How can you be in love with someone who doesn't make you feel chosen? You shouldn't feel alone when you're in love.
I'm not talking about constant attention or obsessive confirmation. I'm talking about those minimal signs that make it clear the other person is truly deciding to be there: reaching out to you, making time, talking about themselves, proposing something, not always leaving you in the position of having to guess.
Sometimes the problem isn't even a total lack of interest. It's a lukewarm interest. Just enough to keep you there, but not enough to make you feel truly desired.
I think this is one of the most subtle forms of loneliness: being involved with someone, but never feeling truly chosen.
And it's also extremely frustrating. What if this person then says they're in love? What if I were in love with them? How can you be in love with someone who doesn't make you feel chosen? You shouldn't feel alone when you're in love.
