How can I undo...

[Josh Davidson]

programming from my parents when I was a child to make me into a nice guy?

 

[SirBigBell]

Depending on your current age, you are probably trying to undo at least 2 decades of social conditioning. Its not impossible, but you’ll really need to roll up your sleeves and bring some balance into your character. Dont swing to the other extreme and become a horrible person; just aim to be centered and balanced

 

[BackInTheGame78]

programming from my parents when I was a child to make me into a nice guy?

Lots of reading and putting into practice. And failing. You will fail a lot...but you have to accept it if you want to improve and get better.

 

[corrector]

Go to self defense or fight school so you have street awareness.

 

[Lookatu]

All good points above.

In addition, just moving out and living on your own will help you become your own person. It may or may not be an option yet but strive to be on your own if you want to grow.

 

[xplt]

Go to self defense or fight school so you have street awareness.

That will build confidence and awareness but won‘t undo nice guy behavior.

You need to do a lot of self reflection and observing of yourself. Hard to tell without knowing any background.
I can recommend reading „No more Mr. Nice Guy“ as first step.

 

[bat soup]

programming from my parents when I was a child to make me into a nice guy?

Don't flush the toilet after you do a number 2.

 

[Josh Davidson]

Go to self defense or fight school so you have street awareness.

Ok. I will join a martial arts class.

 

[Josh Davidson]

All good points above.

In addition, just moving out and living on your own will help you become your own person. It may or may not be an option yet but strive to be on your own if you want to grow.

Ok. I'll move out on my own.

 

[Josh Davidson]

That will build confidence and awareness but won‘t undo nice guy behavior.

You need to do a lot of self reflection and observing of yourself. Hard to tell without knowing any background.
I can recommend reading „No more Mr. Nice Guy“ as first step.

Ok. I'll get it and read it.

 

[xplt]

Ok. I'll get it and read it.

You should also find it as audiobook on spotify and youtube.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Ok. I'll get it and read it.

First thing to do! That book helped me a lot in understanding why i was a nice guy and how to get out!

 

[derby1]

listen to every Patrice O Neal clip on the internet

10-15 times

 

[Josh Davidson]

listen to every Patrice O Neal clip on the internet

10-15 times

Ok. I'll listen to his clips.

 

[lost_blackbird]

Don't just blindly follow any advice you are given?
And don't expect that advice to 100% work for you either.

Believe me Josh, everybody's journey is different. Autism is a gift and a curse.
There are parts of my autism I'd never change, like my ability to remember vehicle
registration numbers for literally decades. It's the first thing my eye focuses on whenever
I see a nice car. But my god I'm awkward and uncomfortable around people and have to
mask with a faux air of confidence pretty much all the time. I'm very good at this "confidence"
masking to such an extent that I project a supervisory air and people come to me for help
and advice in work even though being honest, I don't know what's happening half of the time.

Maybe it will take a woman sh1tting on you from great height to flick the nice guy switch to off.
That's what usually does it.

 

[Glassguy]

programming from my parents when I was a child to make me into a nice guy?

Its actually very simple.
Every decision you make should benefit you. If it doesnt, say NO.

Everything you agree to should be because you WANT to do it. And it should also benefit you. If it doesnt, say NO.

Its not hard.

 

[xplt]

Everything you agree to should be because you WANT to do it. And it should also benefit you. If it doesnt, say NO.

Best advice. Simple and accurate.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Go to self defense or fight school so you have street awareness.

If you grew up in rough neighborhoods you already have this innately. Otherwise you would have been dead.

 

[derby1]

basically anything society or women advise you to do, do the total opposite.

1)"you dont DM much" a blue pill guy would DM more, thinking he may lose the girl, the opposite is true..

2) "Real men take on other mens kids and love them like their own" ...= more soyboy brainwashing

3)Notice how every meme on the internet is aimed at the man being the bad guy? Notice how all women talk the same victim spiel...learn to turn your whiteknight OFF

 

[Modern Man Advice]

programming from my parents when I was a child to make me into a nice guy?

Travel. Road trip. Read. Try and fail. Do what feels unnatural and uncomfortable. If it doesn't scare the crap out of you and makes you really uncomfortable you are not pushing/expanding your horizons.

Modern Man Advice