"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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how can i dj a girl to be a friend?

unixguy

Don Juan
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sup ??

well here is the short version.

I DJ'd a girl. I got the girl.
We kicked it really good we get along pretty well untill around week 3. we start fighting ALOT!! ..
why? well i get the feeling she is not being honest. i dont trust her but the sex is good. ( i know its wrong but so what )

we get close but i still dont trust her as time goes by. we are still fighting and having sex. we get along about 3 days out of 4.
week 8 we break up. alot of crap happend and it is pretty much over. that was yesterday,

i know it was only 8 and she tells me she doesnt feel the same way about me and that she doesnt think it will work out but that she does love me so we need to just start dating and see what happends. that seems cool and i am down for that. but she has this emotional wall up so high i dont think it going to happend.

tonight she came to gave me something she had of mine not everything but even tonight we started fighting. about me telling my friends that we broke up. she says i shouldnt have and i dont see how it matters.

she asked me what they said. i told her they ddint say anything. and she started to get really ****y i mean really ****y making statements like " they told you that you could do better" ( her tone was you wont ever do better then me ), " they told you i was ugly" , " they told you i am a *****" and so on. I told her i would not let them say things like that about you. but i told her some of my friends were telling me that it was clear that i cared about her but when we were in public that she didnt act like she cared about me.

this set her off!! she started getting defensive first she goes off on my friends saying she thinks it is funny that i beleive anything anyone tells me. then i tell her that even if it was the two of us that she didnt really open up to me. she tell sme that she doesnt up to just anyone. ( she only opend up to me 3 times , the only 3 times she told me she loved me and i beleived her ) and telling me that she starts telling that is how she is and that is how her parents are and that is how she was raised and all of this stuff.
she gets pissed.

now i will go head and tell you she just looks bad and i am worried about her. i want to be there for her... not really get her back but be there for her.... that is what i am calling the new style to DJ because i feel that i need to earn her trust back and get her to drop the wall and let me be there for her. i just dont know how to that.

how can i dj a girl to be a friend?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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TheRisingSon

Don Juan
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Unrelated question (or so it seems)... Why is your nick unixguy? Is that what is important to you? An OS that has a very loose definition?
 

Raven125

Senior Don Juan
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She's a phsyco... Just let her deal with her own ****... If you leave her alone she'll work things out and there'll be no more fights. Simple.
 

Balanced

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Seems silly to want to go to LJBF land but a one way ticket is a ton of rapport (comfort).

By the way fights are good because they create attraction as long as you have a spine and stick up for yourself. not directed at unix just a general statement.
 

Don_Marko

Senior Don Juan
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May 23, 2004
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You sound like a fvcking nerd instead of a DJ... get back to boot camp!
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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