"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

How can I be a DJ when I can't even make friends?

Dapper Swindler

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 25, 2004
Messages
342
Reaction score
0
Age
45
Among other things, DJs are charismatic, confident, and friendly. They can win over crowds of not just women, but men too. But I'm wondering if not having the basic social skills to make friends is making my DJ progress fruitless. All my life, I've never had a lot of friends. I'm shy and introverted. I've probably dated more women than I've had male friends, and I haven't dated much. I can see two causes for this:

* I'm shy and socially retarded. I don't know what to say to people and how to say it with confidence. I don't know how to build relationships with people.
* Deep down I really don't care to make friends. I don't really care about hanging out with some dude. If there's no romance or sex, what's the point? If they aren't going to sarge with me or invite me to places where I could meet women or be social proof, then what's the point? If they don't have similar interests as I do then what's the point? I have other things to do. Maybe I just don't like people that much.



So I have two questions.

Is being a DJ an extension of being a friendly, social person? Is it a prerequisite? Do I need it for social proof? Or can I just skip that and concentrate only on women?

Second question, what could be my problem with making friends? Has anyone else had this problem and figured out what the cause was?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Roly

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 30, 2004
Messages
286
Reaction score
2
Age
40
Location
South Padre Island
Start with the Basics

First off man, I suggest getting that book - " How to win friends and influence people". Just for the basics. I suggest you start making friends that has the same interest and hobbies as you, unless you have weird ass hobbies and interest, there not so hard to find.

If you have poor social skills, I would not concentrate too much about making " friends". I suggest you get yourself a - JOB where it forces to you to be more social and outgoing. Use your imagination.

Learn to open yourself up to people, and start connecting with them. An important trait to have in life.
 

Dapper Swindler

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 25, 2004
Messages
342
Reaction score
0
Age
45
I'll check out your suggestions. But the problem is that I don't know if it's worth it. Not only do I have a problem making friends, I don't really have any incentive to. With DJing, there is a reason to do it. How can I be motivated to fight against a problem if there is no reason to.

So any help with the first question: is being an outgoing, friendly person a prerequisite for DJing?
 

DonJuanMonk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 20, 2005
Messages
826
Reaction score
0
Location
CA
Originally posted by Dapper Swindler
I'll check out your suggestions. But the problem is that I don't know if it's worth it. Not only do I have a problem making friends, I don't really have any incentive to. With DJing, there is a reason to do it. How can I be motivated to fight against a problem if there is no reason to.

So any help with the first question: is being an outgoing, friendly person a prerequisite for DJing?
No it's not, but it's a prequisite for a healthy emotional person and it will increase the odds of you finding the person you want to spend time with.

For the original poster:

If you dunno how to socialize or make GOOD MALE friends - your dating life may reflect that
 
Top