"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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How can I be a DJ when I can't even make friends?

Dapper Swindler

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Among other things, DJs are charismatic, confident, and friendly. They can win over crowds of not just women, but men too. But I'm wondering if not having the basic social skills to make friends is making my DJ progress fruitless. All my life, I've never had a lot of friends. I'm shy and introverted. I've probably dated more women than I've had male friends, and I haven't dated much. I can see two causes for this:

* I'm shy and socially retarded. I don't know what to say to people and how to say it with confidence. I don't know how to build relationships with people.
* Deep down I really don't care to make friends. I don't really care about hanging out with some dude. If there's no romance or sex, what's the point? If they aren't going to sarge with me or invite me to places where I could meet women or be social proof, then what's the point? If they don't have similar interests as I do then what's the point? I have other things to do. Maybe I just don't like people that much.



So I have two questions.

Is being a DJ an extension of being a friendly, social person? Is it a prerequisite? Do I need it for social proof? Or can I just skip that and concentrate only on women?

Second question, what could be my problem with making friends? Has anyone else had this problem and figured out what the cause was?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Roly

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Start with the Basics

First off man, I suggest getting that book - " How to win friends and influence people". Just for the basics. I suggest you start making friends that has the same interest and hobbies as you, unless you have weird ass hobbies and interest, there not so hard to find.

If you have poor social skills, I would not concentrate too much about making " friends". I suggest you get yourself a - JOB where it forces to you to be more social and outgoing. Use your imagination.

Learn to open yourself up to people, and start connecting with them. An important trait to have in life.
 

Dapper Swindler

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I'll check out your suggestions. But the problem is that I don't know if it's worth it. Not only do I have a problem making friends, I don't really have any incentive to. With DJing, there is a reason to do it. How can I be motivated to fight against a problem if there is no reason to.

So any help with the first question: is being an outgoing, friendly person a prerequisite for DJing?
 

DonJuanMonk

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Originally posted by Dapper Swindler
I'll check out your suggestions. But the problem is that I don't know if it's worth it. Not only do I have a problem making friends, I don't really have any incentive to. With DJing, there is a reason to do it. How can I be motivated to fight against a problem if there is no reason to.

So any help with the first question: is being an outgoing, friendly person a prerequisite for DJing?
No it's not, but it's a prequisite for a healthy emotional person and it will increase the odds of you finding the person you want to spend time with.

For the original poster:

If you dunno how to socialize or make GOOD MALE friends - your dating life may reflect that
 
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