"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Hmm still interested?

bigboom

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I met a girl in a club a while ago. (about an 8) We had some eyecontact and when i approached her i was quite confident and being ****y & funny towards her. She responded well, but she got nervous and she didn't know how to respond to me....which confused me a little, because she is quite popular. She said she wanted her boyfriend to treat her better and she answered my questions in great detail, fast and nervous (insecure). I had to laugh but didn't want to push it that fast. (stupid perhaps)..and left.

A few weeks later, i heard from a friend she was working in a local shoppingmall. So i went over there and asked her out....but this time i ****ed up. I got nervous, and it showed. (didn't say stupid things though, but i knew it showed...)
She rejected my offer because she had already plans...
She has a boyfriend, and she knows that i know that.

I really like her. I'm not chasing her, but i would like to give it another shot. I saw her one time afterwards and she looks pretty neutral, not showing to me that she is totally not interested.
I just smiled at her and ignored her presence that evening.
(the i-still-like-you-but don't care- it's a pitty smile)

Question is, is it worth it to give it another shot when you've showed weakness (by being nervous) or should i move on and forget about it?

(when i'm in clubs/dance areas i've no trouble to be ****y funny and confident. My view is that back then she was a little bit stumbled by the fact i was so arrogant towards her....But in normal life i can become quit nervous when i really like a girl and want to take her out) So i revealed myself in quit a different way i guess...

Any advice? tnx
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Aetolia

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why not?

why not go for it, one more time won't kill you, not like it matters, if she says no, move on
 

LikRetsam

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Hmm... Yeah one more try wouldn't hurt. Get it right, make it sound less direct.
 

bigboom

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yeah well, the problem is to be rejected twice ofcourse. That would make me feel stupid. Perhaps i should let her doubt my intentions for a while. ( i see her regularly when i'm going out).
Fact is, that i've not much experience with girls that already have boyfriends....so dunnow wheter she's playing around or really has some interest in me. (my gut says she does, but i don't trust it to be honest...)
 

Osiris7250

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dont worry about the boyfriend, she already bad mouthed him which looks like a tip for you to go in..... and even if she shuts you down twice, big f'n whoop! next her, as my friend once said, "there are plenty of other women in the sea who smell like fish."

as far as your nervousness goes, just remember her reaction when she was confuessed and etc. another thing that helps is to think to yourself, "....im the man, im better, im worth more! this chic needs to prove herself that she is worth my time of day!..."
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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