"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Hmm still interested?

B

bigboom

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I met a girl in a club a while ago. (about an 8) We had some eyecontact and when i approached her i was quite confident and being ****y & funny towards her. She responded well, but she got nervous and she didn't know how to respond to me....which confused me a little, because she is quite popular. She said she wanted her boyfriend to treat her better and she answered my questions in great detail, fast and nervous (insecure). I had to laugh but didn't want to push it that fast. (stupid perhaps)..and left.

A few weeks later, i heard from a friend she was working in a local shoppingmall. So i went over there and asked her out....but this time i ****ed up. I got nervous, and it showed. (didn't say stupid things though, but i knew it showed...)
She rejected my offer because she had already plans...
She has a boyfriend, and she knows that i know that.

I really like her. I'm not chasing her, but i would like to give it another shot. I saw her one time afterwards and she looks pretty neutral, not showing to me that she is totally not interested.
I just smiled at her and ignored her presence that evening.
(the i-still-like-you-but don't care- it's a pitty smile)

Question is, is it worth it to give it another shot when you've showed weakness (by being nervous) or should i move on and forget about it?

(when i'm in clubs/dance areas i've no trouble to be ****y funny and confident. My view is that back then she was a little bit stumbled by the fact i was so arrogant towards her....But in normal life i can become quit nervous when i really like a girl and want to take her out) So i revealed myself in quit a different way i guess...

Any advice? tnx
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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A

Aetolia

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Who?
why not?

why not go for it, one more time won't kill you, not like it matters, if she says no, move on
 
L

LikRetsam

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Hmm... Yeah one more try wouldn't hurt. Get it right, make it sound less direct.
 
B

bigboom

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yeah well, the problem is to be rejected twice ofcourse. That would make me feel stupid. Perhaps i should let her doubt my intentions for a while. ( i see her regularly when i'm going out).
Fact is, that i've not much experience with girls that already have boyfriends....so dunnow wheter she's playing around or really has some interest in me. (my gut says she does, but i don't trust it to be honest...)
 
O

Osiris7250

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dont worry about the boyfriend, she already bad mouthed him which looks like a tip for you to go in..... and even if she shuts you down twice, big f'n whoop! next her, as my friend once said, "there are plenty of other women in the sea who smell like fish."

as far as your nervousness goes, just remember her reaction when she was confuessed and etc. another thing that helps is to think to yourself, "....im the man, im better, im worth more! this chic needs to prove herself that she is worth my time of day!..."
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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