"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
$hit tests = enigmas
- Thread starter penkitten
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Lol, this is the same girl who everyone thought was a bytch. Why the hell would I want to fall for a girl everyone thinks is a bytch? You guys tried to tell me too. Geez, now that it's over and I'm getting some perspective I realize how much work I have to do on my own self image, that I would allow myself to get on this merry-go-round with a girl who was so abrasive in the first place. I just fell for her adoration of me. I know she cared about me, but she wasn't good FOR ME.jophil28 said:
I guess you get experience by getting experience.
I did, and thanks. You are right-- I attracted a girl who probably had some issues, as I had some issues. I was working on getting my head together, raising my standards for myself, learning to treat myself well, and that's when she disappeared. I'm going to keep working on my self image and standards, and I know that like you say, I will attract someone who mirrors that back TO me.Charm said:
I'm glad I started posting here again, it's a sign that I'm ready to learn from the lesson she taught me, and for the first time in a few months I'm actually looking forward to turning my life around, and drawing positive influences into my life. Right-on.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.