Hit my girlfriend when I was sleeping

CaptFinnBad

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So Saturday night was sleeping with my girlfriend. I was fast asleep and I struck her when I was sleeping.

Apparently I had a conversation about it with her straight after and apologised. I've no recollection of this. Must have been sleeping the whole time.

I went home Sunday morning, seen her Monday night. She's in a pretty bad way. I hit her in the upper back, behind one of her shoulder blades.

She's not blaming me. She's saying she must have pulled a muscle or trapped a nerve in her back bowling with me on Saturday. Don't know why she's not acknowledging it was me?

I know it's 100% me because I hit like a train. Boxed since I was a small child and went on Muay Thai until my late 20's, so the muscle memory has pretty much been drilled into me. Sleeping or not I know I must have hit her hard and with intent.

No idea if I punched, elbowed or kneed her.

All I know is she's on strong pain killers, can barely move, and finds it hard to breath.

Been having a few violent dreams last week or so, mainly fights, slit a goats throat(for food) because nobody else would do it , and killed a burglar , also a dream about cheating on my girlfriend with many women. (Lots of weird stuff)..

Need get this sorted asap. Can't me striking the women I love in my sleep.

Never happened to me before. First time and needs to make sure it's the last.

Feel terrible about it.
 
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BackInTheGame78

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Do you know what internal conflicts or repressed memories you are dealing with that could be behind those?
 

CaptFinnBad

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Do you know what internal conflicts or repressed memories you are dealing with that could be behind those?
Yeah I do. Relationship hasn't been right the last month.

She's awesome. An amazing women. You probably remember my other thread.

My internal conflict has been If should walk from the relationship / leave a good women.
 

CaptFinnBad

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Do you know what internal conflicts or repressed memories you are dealing with that could be behind those?
Repressed memories I'm not sure. Not that I'm aware of. I think acknowledged and faced all my demons over the years.
 

RazorRambo24

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I've had similar dreams and often crazier and consistently every night without fail at some point many years back and leading up to just a year or two ago when they finally and gradually stopped happening as consistently.

These things are happening from 2 things: Stress/Flight or Flight. Cortisol Spikes/Adrenaline spikes in your sleep.

Do you have any trauma from anything?
 

xplt

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That just happens. I've been hit and hit my ex in my sleep. Dreams... I would not ruminate over this. But maybe something is bothering you.

My brother was restless and curious kid. One night my mother dreamed, he grabbed a kitchen knife out of a drawer and smacked my father full force in his face while sleeping. She still tells this story today, 30 years later, to explain how my brother was giving her headaches and stole her nerves
 

BMX

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I woke myself up one time because I had been training throwing heavy left crosses consistently a few years ago when I boxed. What woke me up was those very same fast-twitch fibers firing off, followed by a quick pivoting of my upper body. It's true, this crap does happen.
 

BackInTheGame78

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I woke myself up one time because I had been training throwing heavy left crosses consistently a few years ago when I boxed. What woke me up was those very same fast-twitch fibers firing off, followed by a quick pivoting of my upper body. It's true, this crap does happen.
Haha, there were stories that you could go and whisper "1,2..." to Ric Flair while he was sleeping and he would automatically lift his shoulder before you got to 3.
 

Stanley

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I suffer from night terrors my whole life as do all the men in my family and when the fight or flight response kicks in I throw fists. There is a dent above my bed in the dry wall from one such occasion. Your girl sounds pretty chill for not making a scene of it.

While working with a therapist on improving my sleep he told me often times when people see spikes in this behavior it has to do with underlying stressors and things not being addressed. Otherwise it is a normal response that just happens every so often. I'm such a poor sleeper that I cannot share a bed with anyone if I actually want to sleep. When I was at my worst with insomnia and night terrors/hypnic jerk I started meditating before bed and started taking magnesium and zinc in the evening and I haven't had episode in months.

https://www.sleepfoundation.org/parasomnias/night-terrors
 

CaptFinnBad

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I woke myself up one time because I had been training throwing heavy left crosses consistently a few years ago when I boxed. What woke me up was those very same fast-twitch fibers firing off, followed by a quick pivoting of my upper body. It's true, this crap does happen.
Tell me about it. That muscle memory can be a nightmare. Got me into quite a few fights that were completely avoidable, unnecessary and stupid.

Literally every fight I've been in outside the ring has started because of this. I hate fighting, I'm literally scared of it, but can't even count the number of fights I've been in .

Feel threatened in a confrontational situation and I've hit someone out of pure reflex. The brain then catches up and thinks ****s sake I didn't even want to do that !

I feel moment of intense fear, the inevitable fight happens, then my brain switches off, and I act on pure adrenaline.

Worst one was a guy at a bar. I was alone. He was with a group of friends. He was drunk being confrontational for no reason. Got in my face, I felt threatened, elbowed him hard in the temple out of reflex.

Logical brain caught up and I realised how much **** I was in. Tried fighting the group who pounced on me, I got my nose broke, lucky bouncers came over in time to stop me getting completely torn apart by the group. Stumbled home coved in my own blood and tail firmly between my legs.

By choice I would have avoided that escalation in whatever way possible, same with every fight really.

Also been on the flip side. Caused a quite a bit of damage to people. Which I always feel terrible about after it's happened.

Also hit a couple people completely by accident. The most notably being my best friend, which I right crossed directly in the nose.

I was sitting in a parked car at night with the window open, my friend took it apon himself to sneak up to the window, jump out and make a loud noise to scare me.

He made me jump and I punched.


Honestly it's a curse. Wish I could turn it off.


Also retarded mist that takes over once I'm in a fight has been an issue. Must be because of the high levels of adrenaline. It's like I don't have a brain. Just trying to damage the person as much as possible, roundhoused people in the head as they dropped to the floor, stamped on someone's back, a guy crumpled from a cross I put a full force knee to his eye socked and heard it crack.



Literally went to throw someone a living room window (luckily I had a come to Jesus moment on that one).

Threw a guy through a random front door on the street.

Ambulance's been called out on two occasions in my early twenties (a long time ago now).

It's something I'm pretty ashamed that lose the ability to think. Luckily there is always an event, that snaps me out of it and I gets my brain back. Then it screams at me what are you doing or about to do, stop!

Then the feeling of, empathy and concern for the person kicks in.


Lucky I'm older now. Been a LONG time since I've been in that type of situation or been in a fight. Glad it's all in the distant past
 
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