jhonny9546
Master Don Juan
After reading, and rereading, a post, I felt the need to reflect on my own life experiences, viewing them through the lens the author provides. Whether the post was crafted as a piece of storytelling or drawn directly from real-life relationship patterns, I’ve seen many of these dynamics play out in the lives of people around me: friends, acquaintances, and even my own parents.
The Caveman Pattern
What I observed aligns closely with the article’s structure:
These patterns are widespread,even among couples that seem “stable.” I use that word loosely, because in many of these cases, stability is just an illusion. The relationship might last, but it’s driven by manipulation, emotional volatility, and fear, not love nor growth.
What I’ve also noticed is that many women who fall into these patterns tend to carry deep emotional wounds: unresolved childhood trauma, chaotic family dynamics, toxic friendships, insecurity, even borderline behavior. They often seem dependent on their chosen “caveman” for identity, control, or validation.
The more a relationship follows these patterns, the more likely it is to be filled with drama, disrespect, emotional games, and constant tension. So we can say those couples are driven by “cortisol addiction” or “trauma bonding”.These couples might have kids, they might build wealth, but they rarely grow as individuals, and their climate is always emotionally tense. Emotional maturity remains low. The whole relationship stays stuck in a cycle of childish behavior. This is why you will hear so many women talk bad of their current partners to their friends (or on social media) but soon after that, they will post picture of their recent marriage.
Now, with an open mind like we had for the entire explanation of those working patterns we know that modern culture has added new variables:
A Broader Perspective
That said, not all relationships are like this. Life isn’t black and white. There are healthy couples, men and women, who grew up with stable, respectful role models. These people often look for, and build, emotionally sound relationships based on mutual respect, not manipulation or fear.This is difficult to explain… Acknowledging these “caveman dynamics” doesn’t mean they apply to everyone. But understanding them invites reflection, especially for those who’ve been hurt, confused, or stuck in painful patterns.
Some relationships are built on survival. Others are built on growth.
It's not correct to say that we all function the same way. Based on our upbringing and our desire to live a life free of stress, we are naturally inclined to find comfort and wellbeing in certain types of relationships.
This means we need to be aware of a kind of "threshold", and that everything depends on how two people experience and want to grow within the relationship.
If your woman is a “cavewoman”, then doing what's described in the first post helps keep her "functional" in your cave.
But if you're not a caveman like she is, if you're a man of value, you have the option to find another woman who is less “cavewoman” and more suited to a less stressful relationship. One whose favorite dish isn’t “cortisol rice”, served daily.
That said, I’m looking forward to hearing what the other men here think, How your life experiences and of your friends, could actually recognize those patterns
The Caveman Pattern
What I observed aligns closely with the article’s structure:
- The Selection Phase The woman identifies what she perceives as a “high-value man.” This value is subjective and usually based on her early experiences, what she saw growing up, particularly in her relationship with her father, and father-mother. She chooses someone who fits this internal blueprint. (This is what the post calls “choosing the caveman.”)
- The Nesting Phase Once she’s secured the man, she shifts to creating a life together: marriage, children, building a home, planning travels, maybe even starting a business together. (This is the building of “the cave” and her chosen safe space to raise a family.)
- The Devaluation Phase Once the home, the children, and the external life goals are in place, the man’s role often becomes reduced to that of a provider. She may start acting cold, nagging, or even hostile. It’s not necessarily new behavior, but it becomes much more pronounced. (At this point, her primal attraction fades. The mission is complete, and her subconscious desires shift. This is where hypergamy kicks in.)
- The Crossroads Two things may happen:
- She might cheat with another “caveman,” seeking excitement or sexual novelty.(monkey-branching, divorce)
- Or, if the man she’s with appears to have other options, or simply gives her reason to doubt, she might double down, try harder, and become more agreeable. (FOMO)
These patterns are widespread,even among couples that seem “stable.” I use that word loosely, because in many of these cases, stability is just an illusion. The relationship might last, but it’s driven by manipulation, emotional volatility, and fear, not love nor growth.
What I’ve also noticed is that many women who fall into these patterns tend to carry deep emotional wounds: unresolved childhood trauma, chaotic family dynamics, toxic friendships, insecurity, even borderline behavior. They often seem dependent on their chosen “caveman” for identity, control, or validation.
The more a relationship follows these patterns, the more likely it is to be filled with drama, disrespect, emotional games, and constant tension. So we can say those couples are driven by “cortisol addiction” or “trauma bonding”.These couples might have kids, they might build wealth, but they rarely grow as individuals, and their climate is always emotionally tense. Emotional maturity remains low. The whole relationship stays stuck in a cycle of childish behavior. This is why you will hear so many women talk bad of their current partners to their friends (or on social media) but soon after that, they will post picture of their recent marriage.
Now, with an open mind like we had for the entire explanation of those working patterns we know that modern culture has added new variables:
- Feminist messaging that encourages women to devalue traditional partnerships.
- Government systems that replace the “caveman” provider role.
- Social media, which inflates a woman’s perceived value and gives her the illusion of endless better options. (not only an illusion really)
A Broader Perspective
That said, not all relationships are like this. Life isn’t black and white. There are healthy couples, men and women, who grew up with stable, respectful role models. These people often look for, and build, emotionally sound relationships based on mutual respect, not manipulation or fear.This is difficult to explain… Acknowledging these “caveman dynamics” doesn’t mean they apply to everyone. But understanding them invites reflection, especially for those who’ve been hurt, confused, or stuck in painful patterns.
Some relationships are built on survival. Others are built on growth.
It's not correct to say that we all function the same way. Based on our upbringing and our desire to live a life free of stress, we are naturally inclined to find comfort and wellbeing in certain types of relationships.
This means we need to be aware of a kind of "threshold", and that everything depends on how two people experience and want to grow within the relationship.
If your woman is a “cavewoman”, then doing what's described in the first post helps keep her "functional" in your cave.
But if you're not a caveman like she is, if you're a man of value, you have the option to find another woman who is less “cavewoman” and more suited to a less stressful relationship. One whose favorite dish isn’t “cortisol rice”, served daily.
That said, I’m looking forward to hearing what the other men here think, How your life experiences and of your friends, could actually recognize those patterns
