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Here is how you get a long term relationship that is fulfilling and has minimal drama

cola

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Step one: The start of the relationship

You are spinning plates, have a harem of women but are starting to feel unfulfilled. After a while it all starts to get old. The dates, communicating with so many different women, so you decide you want a long term relationship. The first step isn’t really a step, it’s more so what you don’t do.
You never bring up the topic of exclusivity to a woman.
She has to bring up the subject. You do not ask a woman to be your girlfriend, no matter how much you like her. You continue to have sex with her and go on dates but she has to bring up the topic of being a couple. We don’t actually choose a girlfriend a girlfriend in a sense chooses us.
Many of you guys who are experienced with women know after a time, a woman will say the famous line “So what are we?” This is when you know she wants a title out of you and now the ball is in your court to evaluate her performance as a plate and decide if you want her to be your girl.

Step two: The screening process, is she girlfriend material?

Now that she has asked you what are we this is where you have to take a step back. Making her your girlfriend can either bring tremendous value to your life or become an additional source of stress. It’s time to use your head right now, not your heart. How has she behaved as a plate? Has she been punctual? Given you a hard time? Made simple situations become drama? Ever been flakey? What is her relationship like with her parents? What is she doing career wise? Is it possible that she wants to use you for resources?
What are her morals like? Has she ever cheated?What does she bring to the table? Once you guys started having sex, has she denied you sex after dates for no apparent reason?

She has to pass all the answers to these questions with flying colors. Her looks and your physical attraction to her are not enough to make her girlfriend material.

Step three: Laying down the ground rules.

So you took the step back and have decided that she can bring value to your life.
Before the relationship starts you let her know the ground rules from the door. You have to let her know that as your girlfriend there is a code of conduct that she must follow and failure to follow the code of conduct we result in you dumping her immediately with no chance of resolution.

You make your own ground rules, but here are a few that I would follow:
-there is no contact with ex boyfriends or lovers.

-you may not acquire any new male friends or aquatints.

-you may not withhold sex to get your way.


-drama is to be kept to a minimum.

You can create your own ground rules but I suggest these three be included. Failure to follow these rules have to result in an instant breakup. There are no second chances.


Step four: Maintaining your frame


Do not become complacent. You are the man, your job is to lead. You want your woman to constantly see you win. In the board room, in the social circle, in life in general. Do not become a couch potato and lay around with her eating high calorie snacks every night. You have to continue to go to the gym, continue to go out with the guys, continue to dress nice and smell good and maintain a high level of grooming. Once you fall into mediocrity she will lose respect for you and begin violating your code of conduct. Do not become vulnerable. If you are feeling down and need to vent get a therapist or call the bro’s, do not let your woman see you defeated or sulking.
Date night, you decide where you are going. She can make suggestions but the decision is yours. You are a king, she is your queen the final decision is always yours, she is just an advisor. Check bad behavior immediately. You come over and she is acting b*tchy? Leave. Tell her you don’t like her energy and will talk to her tomorrow. Block her number for the night.

Step Five: Progression


Its been a year or two, she has followed your code of conduct to the letter, and has been an asset to you. Now she wants to move together as it’s the natural progression of a relationship. Should you decide that she is worthy to share your castle here are some rules.

- She moves into your place. You NEVER move with her. Things take a turn for the worst she had to pack and move not you.

- MAN PAYS RENT/MORTGAGE! I’m going to get blowback on this one, but I truly believe the man pays this. She pays all other bills gas and electric, wifi, water & groceries.

- Real men do chores. If you can live in a disorganized messy environment you aren’t a man you are an animal. Do not be a slob and do not tolerate messiness from her. Maintain a neat living space. USE A DISH, WASH A DISH. A messy woman is not wife material.

- This is when men get fat. Do not let her convince you to eat junk food and influence your eating habits. You must maintain your body and continue to go to gym. Bonus points for her and getting that wedding ring if she commits to clean eating and gym herself. If you can both go to gym together in morning or after work it’s a great way to bond.


Final step: The player retires.


At this point it’s been some years. Been dating 4-5 years or more and lived together for 2-3. She has followed your code of conduct to the letter. This final step is completely up to you. You can just live together for years and completely skip this step. If you see fit, and she has proven herself worthy go ahead and make an honest woman out of her. Get the ring. I will let someone with a successful marriage write the rules for this as I’ve never made it this far but one thing I do know, get a prenup.

as always, open to civil discussion.
 

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LARaiders85

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Disagree with #3. If she is a predator type that flew under the radar of step 2 then she will use your explicit values as a manipulation tool and know what to hide. The same woman would be bragging about all her fvckery if she didn't know you don't like it. Screening never ends. This is based on my experience setting boundaries and not setting boundaries and comparing the two
 

cola

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Disagree with #3. If she is a predator type that flew under the radar of step 2 then she will use your explicit values as a manipulation tool and know what to hide. The same woman would be bragging about all her fvckery if she didn't know you don't like it. Screening never ends. This is based on my experience setting boundaries and not setting boundaries and comparing the two
Well with step two you aren’t actually literally asking her these questions you are more so observing and using context clues to answer them yourself. But, yes I agree with you screening never ends.

Not quite sure how you could disagree with step three though. Step three is basically just letting her know what will get her dumped immediately.
 

LARaiders85

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Well with step two you aren’t actually literally asking her these questions you are more so observing and using context clues to answer them yourself. But, yes I agree with you screening never ends.

not quite sure how you could disagree with step three.
Because I set boundaries on women who showed no red flags in the prior stages and they just took their sh1t underground. You are better off finding out their true nature sooner than later, when they are just openly breaking your boundaries in your face. Of course at that point it makes it easier to walk since the boundaries were set, but I am confident enough in my internal boundaries that I don't need the extra help.
 

stringpuller

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Well with step two you aren’t actually literally asking her these questions you are more so observing and using context clues to answer them yourself. But, yes I agree with you screening never ends.

Not quite sure how you could disagree with step three though. Step three is basically just letting her know what will get her dumped immediately.
I can digest this one Cola.a lot of good points in there.
Especially the woman always rearranges her life for you.
 
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cola

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Because I set boundaries on women who showed no red flags in the prior stages and they just took their sh1t underground. You are better off finding out their true nature sooner than later, when they are just openly breaking your boundaries in your face. Of course at that point it makes it easier to walk since the boundaries were set, but I am confident enough in my internal boundaries that I don't need the extra help.
So you think you’re better off just not mentioning your boundaries and having them internally?
Ok what if it’s a scenario like this:

An ex who she ended with amicably sends her a Facebook message just shooting the sh*t. There is no sexual talk, no mention of meeting up it’s a completely platonic conversation. But because you never told her that it’s NOT ok to converse with an ex, she doesn’t feel like she did anything wrong. What do you do in a situation like that where you never mentioned that talking to an ex was a foul? Do you just dump?
 

stringpuller

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Disagree with #3. If she is a predator type that flew under the radar of step 2 then she will use your explicit values as a manipulation tool and know what to hide. The same woman would be bragging about all her fvckery if she didn't know you don't like it. Screening never ends. This is based on my experience setting boundaries and not setting boundaries and comparing the two
Maybe....i would have to inject a lot of number 3 is negotiating. And negotiating desire is the beginning of the end. Should be rolled out before step 3. Training over time.
 

stringpuller

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So you think you’re better off just not mentioning your boundaries and having them internally?
Ok what if it’s a scenario like this:

An ex who she ended with amicably sends her a Facebook message just shooting the sh*t. There is no sexual talk, no mention of meeting up it’s a completely platonic conversation. But because you never told her that it’s NOT ok to converse with an ex, she doesn’t feel like she did anything wrong. What do you do in a situation like that where you never mentioned that talking to an ex was a foul? Do you just dump?
Theres no facebook
 

cola

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Maybe....i would have to inject a lot of number 3 is negotiating. And negotiating desire is the beginning of the end. Should be rolled out before step 3. Training over time.
There is no negotiating in number three. These are the rules of the game. She can play or not, totally up to her, but they are definitely non negotiable rules.
 
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isasda66

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Step three: Laying down the ground rules.

So you took the step back and have decided that she can bring value to your life.
Before the relationship starts you let her know the ground rules from the door. You have to let her know that as your girlfriend there is a code of conduct that she must follow and failure to follow the code of conduct we result in you dumping her immediately with no chance of resolution.

You make your own ground rules, but here are a few that I would follow:
-there is no contact with ex boyfriends or lovers.

-you may not acquire any new male friends or aquatints.

-you may not withhold sex to get your way.


-drama is to be kept to a minimum.
Is it necessary to be explicit. Im asking because what if I say no contact with an ex and she agrees. But all that does it make her hide any traces of contact. Of course if found out she knows its over. But doesnt this just give her a pass that some behaviour is acceptable as long as I wont find out?
 

cola

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Is it necessary to be explicit. Im asking because what if I say no contact with an ex and she agrees. But all that does it make her hide any traces of contact. Of course if found out she knows its over. But doesnt this just give her a pass that some behaviour is acceptable as long as I wont find out?
I think this is what @LARaiders85 was saying. How can you possibly control that? If she hides talking to an ex there is nothing you can do. All you can do is let her know in no uncertain terms that if you find out there was any contact with an ex it’s over.
If she knows the risk and still insists on doing it anyway and gets caught all that does is further justifies her dismissal.
 
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stringpuller

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Are you saying you would tell her as a condition of being your girl she has to deactivate Facebook?
Depends on the girl/situation. I've dated in the past and the outset it was no friending anyone i know. 0
However my women now is from over seas so maintains those connection. If im dating as i was in the past that was my rule. If they didnt like it it was a next.

The amount horror of SM that circulate at my workplace is astounding. The shyt that is blind siding dudes is alarming and any guy at least my age that grew up without that poison should keep it out of there lives.
SM platforms are just mega dating sites for social circles. IE fck fests.

Theres is a large insurance company in the city here and the whole place is a SM fck fest. Wife swapping brothel LOL not kidding
 
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cola

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Depends on the girl/situation. I've dated in the past and the outset it was no friending anyone i know. 0
However my women now is from over seas so maintains those connection. If im dating as i was in the past that was my rule. If they didnt like it it was a next.
Hm, well to me I would never tell a woman she can’t use social media personally.. that’s a little controlling. I would define what Is acceptable behavior on said social media.
But they are your boundaries to set, so if that’s is/was one of yours to each his own.
 

isasda66

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I think this is what @LARaiders85 was saying. How can you possibly control that? If she hides talking to an ex there is nothing you can do. All you can do is let her know in no uncertain terms that if you find out there was any contact with an ex it’s over.
Yes.
Isnt it better to find out if she does message an ex during step 2.
 
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cola

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Yes.
Isnt it better to find out if she does message an ex during step 2.
No, because at step two she isn’t your girl. You are just dating.. She is a single woman who can message anyone she wants. Until you are officially a couple. After all, you are talking to multiple women as well I’d assume..
 

stringpuller

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No, because at step two she isn’t your girl. You are just dating.. She is a single woman who can message anyone she wants. Until you are officially a couple. After all, you are talking to multiple women as well I’d assume..
Isnt this a bit late?
 

LARaiders85

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I think this is what @LARaiders85 was saying. How can you possibly control that? If she hides talking to an ex there is nothing you can do. All you can do is let her know in no uncertain terms that if you find out there was any contact with an ex it’s over.
You'll know because they have big mouths and love jealousy games, they can't wait to tell you lol.
 

isasda66

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No, because at step two she isn’t your girl. You are just dating.. She is a single woman who can message anyone she wants. Until you are officially a couple. After all, you are talking to multiple women as well I’d assume..
I am. So its like a warning. If you now do non-negotiable rule I will drop everything and leave.
So in essence its like her not knowing the law (step 2) and doing it is ok. But once she is made aware of the law (step 3) and does it then she is arrested.

Maybe you can help with this.
 

stringpuller

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Hm, well to me I would never tell a woman she can’t use social media personally.. that’s a little controlling. I would define what Is acceptable behavior on said social media.
But they are your boundaries to set, so if that’s is/was one of yours to each his own.
I understand how it could be viewed as such. Its a boundary not a control. She's free to find some else that is willing to allow it in their dating life.

If there is enough value you add to her life she will not risk it with SM antics. But yes SM is a big deal in many ways
 
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