"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Herbivorous Men

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Desert Fox

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isn't this just a synonym for metrosexual? or borderline f4gs?
 

Luminescence

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I'm a bit confused as to how an economic downturn would result in increased feminine behavior among men....Unless it's some kind of subconscious despair brought on by the pressures of the traditional male role?
 

horaholic

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Yeah, that doesnt make much sense. In a bad economy, you'd think guys wouldnt be buying makeup, and fag-bags, hairspray, and designer jeans. Plus banging chicks is free, providing you have one to fvck consistantly.

A new bar just opened down the street from me, and its a really great place, except all the hipsters, and metros hang out there. They had two metro bars for themselves, but they both closed, so now they hang out at the new bar. Even all the chicks there have that new hipster chick look, (not that it looks bad, cuz it doesnt) as if all twenty of them are sisters, hanging out with their gay brothers. I think my new opener is "So, do you date straight dudes?"
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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LeftyLoosey

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It's obviously easier to define yourself as someone who belongs to a certain demographic than to acknowledge that those qualities might actually be faults or weaknesses that need to be corrected. Examples I can think of are "geeky," "metrosexual," "big-boned," or the countless people who falsely diagnose themselves as having disorders where they actually just do not have the will-power to put in the effort required to overcome the deficiency (and here I acknowledge the fact that disorders actually do exist).

What makes this sort of thing easier is the ability to find like-minded people.

"See, there are other people just like me. I'm not wrong, I'm just different!"

The Internet obviously exacerbates the situation because all you have to do is type a couple of words into Google and you can find hundreds of people who support your point of view or lifestyle choice. Tons of these Japanese "herbivores" can be found in Internet cafes or at home sitting on their computers. Similarly, Western equivalents can be found in the same place.

What I find interesting in this article is that the writer who coined the term "herbivore" claims that herbivores also flourished in pre-WWII Japanese culture. There must have been some other method of enabling this personality-type in Japan that did not exist in Western culture because I do not believe the metrosexual-type really existed in North America until recently. According to Wikipedia, the earliest instance of any sort of Metrosexuality could be found in fashion magazines from the 80's, also that was the decade in which the term was coined (this is debated in the article - it possibly was not coined until 1994. Either way, the concept it a recent one).

Also contributing to metrosexuality is the fact that our culture is so saturated with feminine marketing, it's easy to denounce masculinity altogether. We're taught that being a man is outright wrong. I could be found walking the halls of metrosexuality until I actually found this website to teach me that being a man is acceptable, and in fact the correct way for someone with a penis to act.
 

STR8UP

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Didn't read the whole article, but isn't all of this b!tching about the "new breed" of men getting a little old?

A beta is a beta no matter how you dress him up, and an alpha is an alpha regardless of whether or not he carries a "man bag".

A chick tells me the other day "You dress like a gay guy".

I reply "Fukk you".

Then she says "That's a good thing.... a lot of straight guys have no style".

Then I realized that this was coming from a chick I am having sex with.
 

LeftyLoosey

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STR8UP said:
Didn't read the whole article, but isn't all of this b!tching about the "new breed" of men getting a little old?

A beta is a beta no matter how you dress him up, and an alpha is an alpha regardless of whether or not he carries a "man bag".
The difference here is that betas are advertising their betaness as a desirable lifestyle versus a deficiency. The more often you're told acting like a female is "right" and acting like a male is "wrong," the higher the probability you're going to act like a female. The more people you find that also follow your path, the more likely you are to stick to it and draw others in.

Feminist cultural messages and the globalization of knowledge is causing the herbivore lifestyle to proliferate. Yes they are betas but there are many more than there ever were.
 

Desert Fox

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true forced loneliness...

...so ****ing pathetic. seriously they should get lives
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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trajhenkhet02

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I must be the change I wish to see in others. I can't do that isolating myself. I wonder if Bruce Lee sat in a room being frustrated that his martial arts gains were small and didn't work out because of it. A series of his small gains made one great gain.

"If you think a thing is impossible, you'll make it impossible. Pessimism blunts the tools you need to succeed." Bruce Lee


As far as that news reel goes, in the interview when the reporter talked to some ladies walking in the street, she asked them if they preferred those men. They responded with "we prefer carnivores". So there you have it, nature in effect.
 

Inquisitus

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LeftyLoosey said:
Feminist cultural messages and the globalization of knowledge is causing the herbivore lifestyle to proliferate. Yes they are betas but there are many more than there ever were.
Are there really more betas out there than ever? Or are betas now more prominent with the advent of free broadcasting (vis a vis Y-tube, facebook, blogs, twitter, forums)?

It seems to me that alpha's have better things to do than post stuff in the media.
 

sharkbeat

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ugh. As long as they don't make it here to the US, is all I am hoping for. This is like the end of mankind, when men don't know how to act like men.
 

jophil28

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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Desert Fox

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no kidding

when I was there 2 years ago I really had to look at the mass of long dyed hair and skinny jeans with purses to see which were male and which were female. scary
 

Da Realist

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I've tried thinking of coming up with some witty and terse saying after reading the article, but all I can say is that this is plain pathetic. No goals. No desires. To think this is where Bushido started.
 

piranha45

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hey man cut them some slack, they got nuked twice.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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