met a chick a week ago, went back and forth with the texts, she text me late one night(might have been a surprising booty call), I texted her back, we didnt meet up it was very late, called her on the phone that same late night and said its better she calls/texts me because her sked and has a kid is more complicated than mine and she lives 30 miles away. Next day I texted her and said how it was nice getting to know her better on the phone after the initial one hour I originally met her a week ago. So she hasn't texted/called me back in 2 days. any advice/opinions??
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
help with this
- Thread starter sicsec
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Women are whimsical and change their minds from day today. The more effort you make, the quicker they lose interest. If she's interested, she'll get in touch. If she's not, then there's nothing you can do or say to change that.
I also think you're placing too much importance on her texting or calling within a certain time frame. If you start worrying after just 2 days without a text then it tells me you're too invested in her and need to chill out, do your own thing and give her space. A lot of guys fall at this hurdle because they start panicking after a few days without a text and then start chasing the woman, sending ultimatums, trying little mind tricks or alike, whereas if they just gave her some space she might get back to him a few days or weeks later.
In the early stages of dating most girls like to retain their independence. They need their own time and own friends, and any signs that a guy could infringe on that freedom will scare them off instantly.
I also think you're placing too much importance on her texting or calling within a certain time frame. If you start worrying after just 2 days without a text then it tells me you're too invested in her and need to chill out, do your own thing and give her space. A lot of guys fall at this hurdle because they start panicking after a few days without a text and then start chasing the woman, sending ultimatums, trying little mind tricks or alike, whereas if they just gave her some space she might get back to him a few days or weeks later.
In the early stages of dating most girls like to retain their independence. They need their own time and own friends, and any signs that a guy could infringe on that freedom will scare them off instantly.
Jariel said:
we havent been on a date yet...met her a week ago and she from my point of view booty texted me the other night that I was too late to respond to...she is a stripper as well....and its not that im too invested in her I just don't want to ruin the opportunity while its very ripe to shack up with her.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
"she is a stripper as well"
It took me 2 months before my stripper gf would reliably text me back (the point where we started going on real dates). It took 3 months before she would reliably show up for plans made in advance (versus texting me about "tonight"). By the 4th month she was like clockwork. Our last 4 plans she showed up at the exact minute, made up to 9 days in advance. But I still go NC between dates. Beautiful women need more space. They need to be free and come back to you on their own.
Note that in the last month, she has texted me first (on a given day) 12 times and I never texted her first once. Thus, I only respond.
Compare that to the first 15 texts where I initiated 14 of them.
It took me 2 months before my stripper gf would reliably text me back (the point where we started going on real dates). It took 3 months before she would reliably show up for plans made in advance (versus texting me about "tonight"). By the 4th month she was like clockwork. Our last 4 plans she showed up at the exact minute, made up to 9 days in advance. But I still go NC between dates. Beautiful women need more space. They need to be free and come back to you on their own.
Note that in the last month, she has texted me first (on a given day) 12 times and I never texted her first once. Thus, I only respond.
Compare that to the first 15 texts where I initiated 14 of them.
Johnnyventana
Senior Don Juan
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sicsec, you're not paying any attention to the good advice given to you. It's like your computer only allows you to post, and not read.
Im taking the advice im just playing devils advocate with myself. I was kind of shocked how assertive this girl was and I was like in a holding pattern and didnt really make any overtrures. My gut instinct tells me the window of opportunity opened and closed!! thats how fast that happens and than I also know how quick she gave me her cell number, Im one of many over the last week or so. So I might be on the backburner as we speak or thrown in the trash..LOL!! I feel like her decision to get it on was on her sked not mine and she put it out there and I didnt close the deal.Johnnyventana said:
Johnnyventana
Senior Don Juan
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sicsec, the big thing I have learned is that you can push them away with too much attention, but not giving them enough attention invariably makes them want you more. They may try to get you to give up your frame because they are used to being chased, but once they see you are different, they fall in line.
In other words, I wouldn't come on too strong right now. Don't do a 180. She's interested, don't make her second guess that by changing who you were to begin with.
In other words, I wouldn't come on too strong right now. Don't do a 180. She's interested, don't make her second guess that by changing who you were to begin with.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.