"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Help with my funny online profile please if ya got the time

D

DiskJockey

Don Juan
Joined
May 1, 2006
Messages
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Location
Western Australia
Headline =
Willing to lie about how we met

Just like a new job, I offer excellent benefits.
I bathe every day. I rarely drink before 9 am and my Psychiatrist says I have potential.
However I am prone to bad luck, I was recently involved in a hit and run on my way to group therapy.
I think Girls are like phones. They like to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected.... Im good with phones and I am kind of like a good bra I'm supportive and like being close to boobs. I'm also honest (when there's no chance of getting caught), easy going (aslong as I have remembered to take my medication) and generally fun to be around.
So if you want to get to know the real me send us a message.

What I’m looking for =
I would like a chick with brains, Ditsy girls can be fun for a while but bore me quickly, they also need to be fit a bit of fat isn't a problem but un-healthy fat is, I also like clean girls hygenic people I wash my feet daily and would expect the same from a partner

Any help much appreciated! I'm not stupid or ugly and have some decent photo's but haven't been having much luck.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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E

Ease

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 23, 2009
Messages
1,320
Reaction score
51
DiskJockey said:
Headline =
Willing to lie about how we met


I bathe every day. I rarely drink before 9 am.
I think Girls are like batteries. Sometimes they run out so you need to get new ones.
I like sports and manly things such as rock climbing and wood chopping.
So if you want to get to know me send us a message.

What I’m looking for =
I would like a chick with brains. Also needs to be fit, no fat chicks please. Megan fox would be ideal.
Click to expand...
I re-arranged it for you, if you like it.

Maximum of 5 jokes, any more and your trying too hard.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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