Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Just leave it alone, forget about her. Baltic Republic?Originally posted by insomniac
What's a good response?
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Just leave it alone, forget about her. Baltic Republic?Originally posted by insomniac
What's a good response?
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Lithuania...Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Just leave it alone, forget about her. Baltic Republic?
Obviously there is something fishy since she stopped responding and then suddenly told you abou tthe accident.Originally posted by insomniac
a week after I last wrote to her, she responds saying she was in a car accident. Her whole e-mail was describing the accident, and she even attached pictures of her totaled car (looked authentic and pretty bad).
Don't really know how to respond. I figured after three days when she didin't respond that she had flaked, and so I stopped caring.
What's a good response?
All of this for a chick in the Baltics... Does this not seem like a waste of time to anyone other than me?Originally posted by insomniac
Lithuania...
Even in the "forget about her" situations I like to try something for purely the learning experience. Believe me, I've sabotaged a lot of opportunities for the sake of knowledge.
OK, I know some women are "nice enough" that they'll go out of their way to give you an excuse that will relieve all guilt from their conscience. But let's just for the hell of it say that this isn't one of those, even though it probably is. If it were, then any response is equally pointless. The way I see it...no response equals nothing. Any response equals nothing or 1 out of a 100 something. Why not spend 1 minute composing a short response?
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I am not sure what you are trying to say...look:Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
All of this for a chick in the Baltics... Does this not seem like a waste of time to anyone other than me?
I got that she is _here_, working on her degree and she is not somewhere in the Baltics.Originally posted by insomniac
She's from a Baltic republic, mid twenities, working on a graduate degree here the last few years, and seemed to be on the "nice girl" side of the specturm.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
No, no. She's been living here less than two miles away the past five years. I agree it'd be a waste of time if otherwise.Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
All of this for a chick in the Baltics... Does this not seem like a waste of time to anyone other than me?
Got'cha. Onward and upward.Originally posted by insomniac
No, no. She's been living here less than two miles away the past five years. I agree it'd be a waste of time if otherwise.
I sent a pithy two sentence reply. Took less than five minutes. That's the end of my effort and thoughts about it.
Originally posted by insomniac
Ok, another match question.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Look who's back...Lithuanian girl...Originally posted by insomniac
No, no. She's been living here less than two miles away the past five years. I agree it'd be a waste of time if otherwise.
I sent a pithy two sentence reply. Took less than five minutes. That's the end of my effort and thoughts about it.
No one gave any responses as how to reply.Originally posted by insomniac
Look who's back...Lithuanian girl...
"How have things been with you? Did you go on your trip to Europe? I just thought I would drop you a line to see if you wanted to talk more.
Well, I am school-free now, however, I feel that I might be going back to school at some point in my life again. I had my brother from back home visiting me here couple weeks ago and we had a great trip to Bryce and Grand Canyons. It felt great there! I am back to wanting to enjoy life and meeting people"
We talked online two months ago but never met, and I'm suspecting she started seeing someone at the time and that's why she didn't respond. It seems that didn't work out, and I'm the backup.
I'm treating this as an experiment, as she's at the bottom of my list and I could care less. What would be the best response?
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.