"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Help the AFC or chill?

Let AFCs live or Attempt to save him?


  • Total voters
    12

Thatfeel21

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
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If u saw a person obviously an AFC, say at work or a party you're at, would you pull him aside and give him advice on how it REALLY is?? I'm talking a decent looking guy or a guy that deserves better but doesnt know better...
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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MotownMack

Senior Don Juan
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Mar 23, 2008
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Funny, I was at a birthday party the other day and had the same thoughts.

There was an HB8 that was friend of a friend-that never met me, but wanted to meet me (I won't get into the story of how this came about). We talked for maybe 5 minutes at this party, and it was ok-don't think I did a great job, but made good eye contact, was ****y, etc.

Anyway, when I got to the party, which was at a bar open to the public, she had been talking to two guys. One was following her around the entire time, and to my knowledge, was someone who was not with the "party" but someone she'd met at the bar.

The guy was following her around the bar like a puppy, it was pretty pathetic. The funny part is, I caught her looking at me twice (after she'd run off from our conversation and didn't come back), when I was talking to a girl I've known for a while. The girl I was talking to had b/f, it was just friendly chat, but the HB8 is new to the circle, so I am sure she didn't know that (a little social proof at work maybe?)

Anyway, her body language as she moved around the bar, compared to his inferior body language, was very obvious to me. And 5-10 years ago, she was probably an HB9, so I have no doubt she probably falls into the category of woman that this stuff we talk about on her was pretty much written for. Even though this guy was technically competition, I almost wanted to pull him aside and say "Dude, wtf are you doing?" I did point out his behavior to a few AFC friends of mine, and even they-with their limited knowledge-agreed.

I say if it's a friend, then casually mention your observations. If it's not someone you know-as was my case- you're likely just to offend them, so I wouldn't bother.
 

KontrollerX

Master Don Juan
Joined
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In real life I only try to help those who ask help of me.

I think thats the way you have to go to avoid offending anyone and getting angry words spewed at you when you were only trying to help.
 

Yahooey

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 26, 2008
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I don't try and completely reform the AFC. If it is a "friend", I will give them tips to help them - and stop my inner cringing.

AFC's that are strangers are a different subject. On more than one occasion, the presence of an AFC competing in a set has helped me - the contrast between the AFC and the DJ in me is immediate, compensates for some of the weaknesses in my game and increases attraction.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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