"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Help Snits to come back to Bjerte AGAIN!

Bjerte

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 1, 2005
Messages
26
Reaction score
6
Location
Iceland
It is your warm friend Bjerte!!

Hello!

I come after long time when I remember I have write here about Snits! This is where I write it-------> http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=65858


Now I come to say I am back because Snits come back! She go to London and say good bye to Bjerte and Kjell and tell us our fight means to love no more! She not want see Bjerte and Kjell fight at each other for the pain! :( I got sad but I fond new girl to give my love

BUT

Snits is the girl in my heart all the time! Now she come back to Iceland!!!

I see her again now and she still is the lovely!!! When I see I remember. She come to my home to drink a beer. She say she miss me and want to try for love again!!! I am happy mate!

She say one things for me not to do. NOT fight on Kjell! She still want him for friendship. I promise to be the good man and say to welcome Kjell into my home as friend of Snits AND BJERTE!

He comes to house to eat my dinner. I say he is friend and we smile both! Bjerte, Snits and Kjell are happy!

BUT

Kjell gets drunken on booze and tell Bjerte he still love Snits and try to get her for his love!

I tell him to PISS!

He say no and try to be sweet to Snits! I trust and wish for friendship but he is manipulator!!! I tell him to get off my appartment! He say no so I push!

Snits come in and see me push at Kjell and she shouts at Bjerte only! She say I not have changed and she is fool to want my love!

I go crazy and give Kjell a scratch!! He screams like a girl and I do a scratcher on his face! I pull at his nostrils also!!

I am run to bathroom and think to get toilet chemicals to put on his face!! I find. I come back and he escapes! I look at my home and snits is gone also!

I have done again the same! :( I have fight with kjell for Snits and she leave me BECAUSE IT! I get Snits to forgive one time but not again??? Please?

She is the one I love!

Help me mates! I hope you think to remember the pain in Bjerte's heart!
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

flippinfreak

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 3, 2006
Messages
891
Reaction score
7
Location
Canada
Oh Shezz, I hope you don't feed the trolls in the future. Bjerte here has some wonderful way with words. Very intriguing and comedic writing... he is among a band of trolls with Dr Beard.

Go trollmoths.
 

Big Eee Zee

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 14, 2005
Messages
584
Reaction score
1
Age
39
Location
sweetville
flippinfreak, dont badmouth bjerte, he's more liked than you.


and bjerte, good to hear from you man. I dont think you have a chance with snits. she saw you fighting, and thinks you havent changed. let her go. find some beautiful icelandic woman, and go out with her. snits is not good for you.
 

Mr. Delicious

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 24, 2003
Messages
498
Reaction score
0
Age
44
Location
OK
OMG what are the odds. I havent been on in months and when i get on Bjerte is Back. AWESOME!!! you should have sprayed some 409 in Kjells face :up:
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

flippinfreak

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 3, 2006
Messages
891
Reaction score
7
Location
Canada
Big Eee Zee said:
flippinfreak, dont badmouth bjerte, he's more liked than you.
I was NOT teasing him! He's a great writer comedic and catchy.

Why you have to bring my spirits down by telling me the truth though:(
 

flippinfreak

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 3, 2006
Messages
891
Reaction score
7
Location
Canada
Dude has 20 posts that's crazy
 

Desdinova

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2004
Messages
11,680
Reaction score
4,874
I tell him to PISS!
LOL! You got it wrong. They only piss when they want to, and where you don't want them to.

I go crazy and give Kjell a scratch!! He screams like a girl and I do a scratcher on his face! I pull at his nostrils also!!
I take it he has no more balls to rip off, so you're targeting other body parts, correct?

Welcome back, Bjerte! :up:

You can also be guaranteed that if I ever become a father, my kids won't be named Snits or Kjell.
 

DrMetallica

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 11, 2003
Messages
914
Reaction score
0
Location
EU
BJERTE, I cannot express how HARD I laughed at this!!! LOL, made my day! I love reading your posts !! hhaha!!
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Bonhomme

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 2, 2002
Messages
3,956
Reaction score
16
Location
Land of the Ruins
Welcome back Bjerte!!! :rockon:
 
Top