"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Help me with this feminist!

abbra05

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Hey DJs, I need a help with a feminist here. Basically, I went to a cafe to meet up with my friends and when I arrived, there were only two spots to sit. One spot would require the two guy friends to both shift over so I could get in (it was a sofa); it was also inconvenient to get to because it was against the cafe wall. The other spot was a chair filled by a chick's purse. I'll call the chick Mary Jane. The spot with the Mary Jane's purse on it was the most natural place for me to sit since nobody would have to move and it was also right in front of me when I arrived at the table. There was no other place to sit or to place a new chair - it was only those two spots.

When I got in, I stood in front of the chair with Mary Jane's purse for two minutes. During the time period, I joined the conversation naturally. It was very obvious that the best place for me to sit was the chair filled by Mary Jane's purse but she didn't move her purse. A joke was also made about the purse filling up the spot so they knew I wanted to sit down. What I didn't do was ask her to move her purse since she knew I wanted to sit there - it was the most obvious spot. In hindsight, maybe this was a mistake to not ask her although it is was obvious she deliberately didn't move her purse? Anyways, after the two minutes, I ended up sitting on the sofa side and the two guy friends moved over just for me.

Fast forward. I leave for the washroom and come back. For me to get back to my seat, it would require the guys to move again. Again, the most natural seat was the chair filled with the purse. Once again, I stood by the chair with the purse for about 5 seconds. She wouldn't move it again. This time around, I moved her purse away WITHOUT ASKING and sat right down on the chair. She gave me this ice cold look when I did that and she seemed a little pissed.

One week later, I meet up with my friends again. Now, Mary Jane is totally all bitc*y against me the entire night. The problem is, I don't really give a sh*t about Mary Jane but I would like to continue to hang out my friends and the other chicks in the group (who she is friends with) without her being an as*hole each time we go out. She is also a total feminist and believes all women should be treated royally by guys.

What should I do?

Abbra
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Don Juanabbe

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Oh man, there is so much potential for this one. An uptight feminist you say? You really need to say a lot of controversial things just to get her back up. Say them semi seriously and see how much she can take it.

I would have a field day with this broad.
 

PeeGee

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I second the 'field day' suggestion; why are you even worried that a woman is upset at you? Oh dear Lord you moved her purse to sit down somewhere, the tragedy of it all. Woe are you! *smacks some manly sense into you*
 

abbra05

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I second the 'field day' suggestion; why are you even worried that a woman is upset at you? Oh dear Lord you moved her purse to sit down somewhere, the tragedy of it all. Woe are you! *smacks some manly sense into you*
I didn't think it was a big issue either. I totally forgot about it that very night and for the entire week. But Holy **** Batman, I've become public enemy #1 to her upon our last outing :p

She has some chick friends that are kind of cute too. LOL, I don't think she has many positive things to say about me to them :D

Abbra
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Life-Trainee

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abbra05:

I think most people here would agree that this situation requires intervention. You stepped way over the line and need some extreme sensitivity training.


:rolleyes:
 

abbra05

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Originally posted by Life-Trainee
abbra05:

I think most people here would agree that this situation requires intervention. You stepped way over the line and need some extreme sensitivity training.

:rolleyes:
Yeah, I could have probably handled it a little more tactfully. That's also why I'm asking - so I can learn from this situation and handle it smoother in the future. Having said that though, I felt she was equally as rude for not moving her purse out of the way upon my arrival, knowing I needed a spot. Oh well, live and learn :p

Abbra
 
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