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Help me interpret this test

catsmeow

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This plate lives 100+ miles away. She was near me on an afternoon OLD date with another dude and stopped by afterward (no she didn't bang him). I convinced her to stay the night and bang, we had a great time together. I believe this is a no-no but we have each talked about our other's dates and recent experiences with dating and sex . We both agreed we are not exclusive and that any LTR possibilities are slim due to the distance. I know I should keep things light and funny, but I don't want to outright decieve and I haven't figured out how to be mysterious and aloof without being deceptive yet.

Anyway she texts me this on the way home.

"If we were closer and had other circumstances, I would date you in a heartbeat. I feel like I can talk to you about anything and I love it. You are amazing and whoever steals your heart is going to be a lucky lady, so keep looking she is out there for you."

She's shown signs of low interest and said similar things in the past. I suppose it's quite possible I won't hear from her again, but I've seen more than once that a woman's actions do not always align with her words.

I texted back " I enjoyed our time together. A lot. It's unfortunate that we live so far away from each other."

I'm not super concerned about losing this plate, My thought is not to reach out at all unless I hear back from her but I'd appreciate any observation or advice about the situation. I'm still only a few months in to this and am learning a lot with each new date.
As a woman, I can say with certainty it was a bog standard shyt test. In your language, a compliance test, women employ them too. Xd

Dont fall for it, leave her be, she will be back, guaranteed!
 

catsmeow

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Update. First. Thanks for the suggestions. Second, I just stayed quiet for the whole week.

Today I got a text and she wants to see me again so my job is to make that happen. Thanks again for the suggestions, you guys saved my ass.
Haha, told ya! Xd
 

Sir FB

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You should keep things light and sexual......but........


Shes telling you that it will not work.

You are developing feelings for this chick and hoping that what she is telling you about it wont work between you two for more than a romp in bed is not true. However, you must take this chick for her face value in this situation.

You are either going to make the choice to continue down this road, give off the bf vibe and she will drop you on your rear end, or you can start dating other women closer to you and use her for what it really is- an occasional lay.

Beyond that, you are giving up your time of going out and meeting potentially other BETTER women close to you for someone that is telling you it wont work because of distance. How smart does it seem to give up meeting other women and continuing to invest in this one?

If you came to me as your financial advisor and I told you "You probably wont make any money here but I will gladly take your money anytime you want to bring it to me".......would you give me money or run?
This makes a lot of sense. Thanks for taking time to explain.

She's warmed up considerably since the OP. I'm now getting daily texts and phone calls. The way this is beginning to play out looks like it might be 3 weekends a month, her coming here 2 and me going there 1. This is actually a pretty ideal situation for me as I'm in my 50s and don't need to be banging every other day and I get to live my life during the week. If she bails, I turn my swipe apps back on and look for cold approach opportunities again. Of course I might change my mind later, but that's what I'm thinking now.

However, If I were to take your advice and spin more plates can you help me with this?

I've been putting off the bf vibe already and strongly hinting at exclusivity. Is there a way to backpedal on that without being dishonest? I realize it's going to take some overt communication because If I come right out and say I want an occasional lay while looking for a better option, it's not going to come across well. Thanks
 

2Rocky

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This makes a lot of sense. Thanks for taking time to explain.


I've been putting off the bf vibe already and strongly hinting at exclusivity. Is there a way to backpedal on that without being dishonest? I realize it's going to take some overt communication because If I come right out and say I want an occasional lay while looking for a better option, it's not going to come across well. Thanks
Get the meetup and lay ASAP
Cut the daily calls. Let most of a day go by then 2 between responses. Then 3...This is really tough. It will get your hamster spinning. You are hanging up from talking to her wondering if she is getting ready to go out to the bars or on a date herself.
When on the phone have a agenda and time constraint. You want to avoid having her feel like every evening from 7:30 -whenever is your time together exclusively. You have to have plans with friends during this time.
Talk about your next meetup not "what did you do today"?
 
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