Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

Read more...

HELP, her dad is saying i stole her violin.

Crazy Asian

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 29, 2007
Messages
1,060
Reaction score
9
Age
34
Ok, in my orchestra class, this girl was my stand partner.
she quit half way through and left her violin in the locker that her and I shared.
one day I forgot mine and there was a concert that day so i took hers and used it.
then I just took it home for some stupid reason after that.
i just gave it back to her on the last day of school.

her dad called me and was pissed.
there were 2 bows in her case in the beginning and i gave her 2 back.
i swear to god that those were the 2 that were in there when i opened her case.
now she's saying that one of the bows isn't hers.
her dad says he's gonna report me to the cops for theft of her violin if she doesn't get her bow back, but I didn't take it.
it wasn't there to begin with.
am I ****ed?
what would you do?
help plz!
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

pLaYtHiNg

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 30, 2009
Messages
336
Reaction score
5
I think it will be difficult for them to prove what bows are and aren't hers. I wouldn't worry too much, her father is probably just angry that you took the violin without permission.
 

Luthor Rex

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 16, 2006
Messages
1,051
Reaction score
55
Age
50
Location
the great beyond
Calm down, the law isn't as powerful as a lot of people seem to think it is. Police / legal power comes as much from people's fear and ignorance as anything else.

If the police are called on you, and they interview you stick to the basic facts: there was one violin and two bows in the case, you returned to her one violin and two bows.

If that was such a big deal to her then why did she leave it so long in the locker? If she left it there so long how can she even be sure she remembers which bows were hers?

Now, if you returned to her something that was broken you're going to have a problem. But if what you gave back to her was the same condition / quality as what she had before... well maybe she just mis-remembers what she had to start with.
 

horaholic

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 12, 2008
Messages
2,254
Reaction score
79
That would actually be a civil matter, instead of a legal matter anyway; meaning, the worst he can do is sue you for the bow that was supposedly not hers, or whatever. Its not theft, if you borrow and return something, even without permission. Her dad is being pretty unreasonable, but you should ask him what you can do to make him happy, and if it is somewhat reasonable for you, then do it. If not, tell him to get fvcked.
What is so special about this 'other' bow that he refers to? Is it realle expensive, or sentimental or something?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Crazy Asian

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 29, 2007
Messages
1,060
Reaction score
9
Age
34
i can't buy her a new bow cause it was probably in the thousands.
and i wouldn't even have a reason to take her bow cause my 4k bow is already amazing.
and I also think that she just didn't remember exactly what type of bow she had. but she seems adamant about it and a bow isn't really something a musician forgets the feel/look/sound of.
is it really not theft if i borrow something w/o permission and give it back?
isn't taking without asking under any circumstances considered theft?
 

piranha45

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 17, 2005
Messages
973
Reaction score
38
well maybe if u were a more sane and rational asian, you wouldn't have gotten in this situation in the first place.
 

horaholic

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 12, 2008
Messages
2,254
Reaction score
79
piranha45 said:
well maybe if u were a more sane and rational asian, you wouldn't have gotten in this situation in the first place.
Piranha, STFU. Say something intelligent.

OP. i didnt know how much good bow's were worth. Is her dad claiming you stole her bow, and replaced it with something inferior? If he is, tell him to prove it. If you're as innocent as you claim, you can tell her dad to get fvcked all day long, and he cant do shyt about it.

And, no... he cannot possibly get you for theft. that is all a matter of a civil suit.You will not possibly go to jail for this, if thats what you're worried about. He can take you to civil court to suit you for the value of the other bow, he claims you stole or whatever, but it is not a legal matter. Dont be intimidated, if you are telling the truth there will be nothing to worry about. Theft is if you broke into her house and stole the violin. Big difference.
 

Ingeniarius

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 1, 2008
Messages
109
Reaction score
0
Location
sosuave
Luthor Rex said:
Calm down, the law isn't as powerful as a lot of people seem to think it is. Police / legal power comes as much from people's fear and ignorance as anything else.

If the police are called on you, and they interview you stick to the basic facts: there was one violin and two bows in the case, you returned to her one violin and two bows.

If that was such a big deal to her then why did she leave it so long in the locker? If she left it there so long how can she even be sure she remembers which bows were hers?

Now, if you returned to her something that was broken you're going to have a problem. But if what you gave back to her was the same condition / quality as what she had before... well maybe she just mis-remembers what she had to start with.

Do not talk to the police :
http://www.boingboing.net/2008/07/28/law-prof-and-cop-agr.html
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Desdinova

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2004
Messages
11,680
Reaction score
4,877
Here's a question to ponder... Would anybody go through that much trouble for a lousy violin bow? NO.

He threatened you just to scare you. If he brings this story to the police, he'll get laughed at. They have more important things to do than investigate a violin bow that isn't the original one that came with the violin.

Just think about it and you'll realize how stupid the whole thing sounds.
 

Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
17,577
Reaction score
6,350
Age
50
Location
midwestern cow field 40
The OP is 17. That means no criminal charges and no civil liability.

At that age, the "authorities" who can mess you up are typically school administrators. Unfortunately, you have basically no rights and you are as guilty as they assume. If you get questioned by anyone from school, deny everything. Do not even admit what you have admitted here.
 

Da Realist

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 1, 2005
Messages
798
Reaction score
23
Location
Memphis, TN
Something else has to be going on. Either her dad is crazy or you must have been close to knocking up his daughter. How did he get your number in the first place?
 
Top