"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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HELP, her dad is saying i stole her violin.

Crazy Asian

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Ok, in my orchestra class, this girl was my stand partner.
she quit half way through and left her violin in the locker that her and I shared.
one day I forgot mine and there was a concert that day so i took hers and used it.
then I just took it home for some stupid reason after that.
i just gave it back to her on the last day of school.

her dad called me and was pissed.
there were 2 bows in her case in the beginning and i gave her 2 back.
i swear to god that those were the 2 that were in there when i opened her case.
now she's saying that one of the bows isn't hers.
her dad says he's gonna report me to the cops for theft of her violin if she doesn't get her bow back, but I didn't take it.
it wasn't there to begin with.
am I ****ed?
what would you do?
help plz!
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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pLaYtHiNg

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I think it will be difficult for them to prove what bows are and aren't hers. I wouldn't worry too much, her father is probably just angry that you took the violin without permission.
 

Luthor Rex

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Calm down, the law isn't as powerful as a lot of people seem to think it is. Police / legal power comes as much from people's fear and ignorance as anything else.

If the police are called on you, and they interview you stick to the basic facts: there was one violin and two bows in the case, you returned to her one violin and two bows.

If that was such a big deal to her then why did she leave it so long in the locker? If she left it there so long how can she even be sure she remembers which bows were hers?

Now, if you returned to her something that was broken you're going to have a problem. But if what you gave back to her was the same condition / quality as what she had before... well maybe she just mis-remembers what she had to start with.
 

horaholic

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That would actually be a civil matter, instead of a legal matter anyway; meaning, the worst he can do is sue you for the bow that was supposedly not hers, or whatever. Its not theft, if you borrow and return something, even without permission. Her dad is being pretty unreasonable, but you should ask him what you can do to make him happy, and if it is somewhat reasonable for you, then do it. If not, tell him to get fvcked.
What is so special about this 'other' bow that he refers to? Is it realle expensive, or sentimental or something?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Crazy Asian

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i can't buy her a new bow cause it was probably in the thousands.
and i wouldn't even have a reason to take her bow cause my 4k bow is already amazing.
and I also think that she just didn't remember exactly what type of bow she had. but she seems adamant about it and a bow isn't really something a musician forgets the feel/look/sound of.
is it really not theft if i borrow something w/o permission and give it back?
isn't taking without asking under any circumstances considered theft?
 

piranha45

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well maybe if u were a more sane and rational asian, you wouldn't have gotten in this situation in the first place.
 

horaholic

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piranha45 said:
well maybe if u were a more sane and rational asian, you wouldn't have gotten in this situation in the first place.
Piranha, STFU. Say something intelligent.

OP. i didnt know how much good bow's were worth. Is her dad claiming you stole her bow, and replaced it with something inferior? If he is, tell him to prove it. If you're as innocent as you claim, you can tell her dad to get fvcked all day long, and he cant do shyt about it.

And, no... he cannot possibly get you for theft. that is all a matter of a civil suit.You will not possibly go to jail for this, if thats what you're worried about. He can take you to civil court to suit you for the value of the other bow, he claims you stole or whatever, but it is not a legal matter. Dont be intimidated, if you are telling the truth there will be nothing to worry about. Theft is if you broke into her house and stole the violin. Big difference.
 

Ingeniarius

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Luthor Rex said:
Calm down, the law isn't as powerful as a lot of people seem to think it is. Police / legal power comes as much from people's fear and ignorance as anything else.

If the police are called on you, and they interview you stick to the basic facts: there was one violin and two bows in the case, you returned to her one violin and two bows.

If that was such a big deal to her then why did she leave it so long in the locker? If she left it there so long how can she even be sure she remembers which bows were hers?

Now, if you returned to her something that was broken you're going to have a problem. But if what you gave back to her was the same condition / quality as what she had before... well maybe she just mis-remembers what she had to start with.

Do not talk to the police :
http://www.boingboing.net/2008/07/28/law-prof-and-cop-agr.html
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Desdinova

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Here's a question to ponder... Would anybody go through that much trouble for a lousy violin bow? NO.

He threatened you just to scare you. If he brings this story to the police, he'll get laughed at. They have more important things to do than investigate a violin bow that isn't the original one that came with the violin.

Just think about it and you'll realize how stupid the whole thing sounds.
 

Bible_Belt

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The OP is 17. That means no criminal charges and no civil liability.

At that age, the "authorities" who can mess you up are typically school administrators. Unfortunately, you have basically no rights and you are as guilty as they assume. If you get questioned by anyone from school, deny everything. Do not even admit what you have admitted here.
 

Da Realist

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Something else has to be going on. Either her dad is crazy or you must have been close to knocking up his daughter. How did he get your number in the first place?
 
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