"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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HELP, her dad is saying i stole her violin.

Crazy Asian

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Ok, in my orchestra class, this girl was my stand partner.
she quit half way through and left her violin in the locker that her and I shared.
one day I forgot mine and there was a concert that day so i took hers and used it.
then I just took it home for some stupid reason after that.
i just gave it back to her on the last day of school.

her dad called me and was pissed.
there were 2 bows in her case in the beginning and i gave her 2 back.
i swear to god that those were the 2 that were in there when i opened her case.
now she's saying that one of the bows isn't hers.
her dad says he's gonna report me to the cops for theft of her violin if she doesn't get her bow back, but I didn't take it.
it wasn't there to begin with.
am I ****ed?
what would you do?
help plz!
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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pLaYtHiNg

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I think it will be difficult for them to prove what bows are and aren't hers. I wouldn't worry too much, her father is probably just angry that you took the violin without permission.
 

Luthor Rex

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Calm down, the law isn't as powerful as a lot of people seem to think it is. Police / legal power comes as much from people's fear and ignorance as anything else.

If the police are called on you, and they interview you stick to the basic facts: there was one violin and two bows in the case, you returned to her one violin and two bows.

If that was such a big deal to her then why did she leave it so long in the locker? If she left it there so long how can she even be sure she remembers which bows were hers?

Now, if you returned to her something that was broken you're going to have a problem. But if what you gave back to her was the same condition / quality as what she had before... well maybe she just mis-remembers what she had to start with.
 

horaholic

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That would actually be a civil matter, instead of a legal matter anyway; meaning, the worst he can do is sue you for the bow that was supposedly not hers, or whatever. Its not theft, if you borrow and return something, even without permission. Her dad is being pretty unreasonable, but you should ask him what you can do to make him happy, and if it is somewhat reasonable for you, then do it. If not, tell him to get fvcked.
What is so special about this 'other' bow that he refers to? Is it realle expensive, or sentimental or something?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Crazy Asian

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i can't buy her a new bow cause it was probably in the thousands.
and i wouldn't even have a reason to take her bow cause my 4k bow is already amazing.
and I also think that she just didn't remember exactly what type of bow she had. but she seems adamant about it and a bow isn't really something a musician forgets the feel/look/sound of.
is it really not theft if i borrow something w/o permission and give it back?
isn't taking without asking under any circumstances considered theft?
 

piranha45

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well maybe if u were a more sane and rational asian, you wouldn't have gotten in this situation in the first place.
 

horaholic

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piranha45 said:
well maybe if u were a more sane and rational asian, you wouldn't have gotten in this situation in the first place.
Piranha, STFU. Say something intelligent.

OP. i didnt know how much good bow's were worth. Is her dad claiming you stole her bow, and replaced it with something inferior? If he is, tell him to prove it. If you're as innocent as you claim, you can tell her dad to get fvcked all day long, and he cant do shyt about it.

And, no... he cannot possibly get you for theft. that is all a matter of a civil suit.You will not possibly go to jail for this, if thats what you're worried about. He can take you to civil court to suit you for the value of the other bow, he claims you stole or whatever, but it is not a legal matter. Dont be intimidated, if you are telling the truth there will be nothing to worry about. Theft is if you broke into her house and stole the violin. Big difference.
 

Ingeniarius

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Luthor Rex said:
Calm down, the law isn't as powerful as a lot of people seem to think it is. Police / legal power comes as much from people's fear and ignorance as anything else.

If the police are called on you, and they interview you stick to the basic facts: there was one violin and two bows in the case, you returned to her one violin and two bows.

If that was such a big deal to her then why did she leave it so long in the locker? If she left it there so long how can she even be sure she remembers which bows were hers?

Now, if you returned to her something that was broken you're going to have a problem. But if what you gave back to her was the same condition / quality as what she had before... well maybe she just mis-remembers what she had to start with.

Do not talk to the police :
http://www.boingboing.net/2008/07/28/law-prof-and-cop-agr.html
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Desdinova

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Here's a question to ponder... Would anybody go through that much trouble for a lousy violin bow? NO.

He threatened you just to scare you. If he brings this story to the police, he'll get laughed at. They have more important things to do than investigate a violin bow that isn't the original one that came with the violin.

Just think about it and you'll realize how stupid the whole thing sounds.
 

Bible_Belt

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The OP is 17. That means no criminal charges and no civil liability.

At that age, the "authorities" who can mess you up are typically school administrators. Unfortunately, you have basically no rights and you are as guilty as they assume. If you get questioned by anyone from school, deny everything. Do not even admit what you have admitted here.
 

Da Realist

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Something else has to be going on. Either her dad is crazy or you must have been close to knocking up his daughter. How did he get your number in the first place?
 
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