"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Help for the emotional roller-coster
- Thread starter lone star
- Start date
“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
Physically and emotionally abusive.Nighthawk said:Was your father distant?
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Mostly yes.Nighthawk said:When you do have relationships, are you the one that usually ends them?
It seems that you are seeking out men like your father, their unsuitability and unattainability mirroring your father's 'bad love' - and when and if you succeed in getting these men, you reject them, symbolically rejecting your own father and achieving pseudo-power in your emotional relationship with him.
Does that sound reasonable?
Silkandsteel
Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2006
- Messages
- 52
- Reaction score
- 5
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Exactly. It is almost like a hunt. Once you got your prey, it is all over. I think it is a psychological thrill, a power game.Silkandsteel said:The initial chase feels so intense: "I HAVE to win this woman over" - it's like a mission or something...but the closer you get to victory, the more nagging doubts occur...then, once you get this person to feel for you openly and honestly and the battle is won, you feel hollow, somewhat foolish to have worked so hard, and guilty - the battle itself was what you wanted to win, not the woman...
Silkandsteel
Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2006
- Messages
- 52
- Reaction score
- 5
All the best Lone Star
chasing after someone who is taken is typically caused by the fear of intimacy.
may sound strange at first, but its actually not.
in a normal relationship the process typically includes an initial stage of judgement (each one of you judging the other).
if you make it through that then comes the process of trust where each of you begin to open up to each other. this stage if rife with people getting their hearts ripped out. its bad getting rejected in the initial phase when you hardly know each other, but to get rejected AFTER you start to open up is much more painful - becuase your authentic self is getting rejected.
but assuming you make it through this phase, then expectations enter the picture. so you're done judging each other, you now trust each other, now can each of you fit in to the future expectations of the other.
this 'normal' process can be TOUGH! at the same time it has pretty big rewards if you make it through it with someone.
now compare that process to chasing after someone who is already taken.
in this scenario the variables are completely different...
- the judgement phase is nowhere near as palpable, as it typically is centered on sexual attraction. so your personality and overall state of your being aren't really being assessed, nor are you assessing the other persons. you're simply enjoying the state of pure sexual attraction. because of this, this phase hardly has any judgement in it at all, in fact the complete opposite, its pure adoration.
- assuming you actually start seeing the attached person in question. the second phase isn't one of building trust, but rather one of meeting each others needs unconditionally. after all, how can you really trust someone who you know is cheating. this stage becomes purely about unconditionally satisfying each others needs and desires.
- assuming that goes on for a while you'll enter the third stage - the ultimatum. after playing lovers and it feeling pretty good, you'll then want to make it for 'real'. this is usually where everything goes to sh*t as you try to turn this 'fantasy'-based relationship into something real. suddenly all the warts and negative elements of the other person become visible.
now some people stay in stage 2 for years. some move to stage 3 and somehow work it out. most however hit stage 3 and it goes to sh*t.
but to your question of why some women chase unavailable men. basically they fear being hurt by a man who is looking for a committed relationship. they don't want to go through the processes required for that. you can also add to that... because they aren't the one cheating, they instantly hold the moral high ground on the person they are screwing, which further protects them from any emotional vulnerability that occurs during the normal courtship process.
any woman chasing after a man who isn't available is doing so because deep down she wants to 'act' out the play of courtship without really being vulnerable and without having to really commit herself to someone. the same thing holds true for men.
any one who truly wanted a mature, kind and caring relationship wouldn't 1) try to steal someone elses man and 2) wouldn't want a man that cheated on his gf / wife.
anyway, just my 2 cents.
Silkandsteel
Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2006
- Messages
- 52
- Reaction score
- 5
P.S. (For the males who wonder how to turn on a woman) I love how he makes me feel when he looks at me. I feel feminine, sexy, attractive. I am even looking better since I met him!
“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”
You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.
These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.
give me a sec, gotta jet to see if i pee'd my pants.
'i have an emotionally stable relationship but my sex life sucks so now i want to go screw another man'
pay attention boys, chic logic at work.
if your relationship were 'healthy' your sex life wouldnt suck and you wouldn't be looking to cheat. given that its obviously unhealthy, its likely NOT emotionally stable (emotionally dead perhaps, and thats stable in a way, but not healthy).
man i feel sorry for your husband.
haha.
jophil28
Master Don Juan
You have a depressed husband (and you accept that depression is a physical condition). Your belief is that he has an ILLNESS and there is no suggestion that he is intentionally behaving in a way that has damaged your marriage.
You, in a totally self-centered way, have posted here and talked about your intention to have a sexual affair because you have "roller-coaster" emotions.
If he had diabetes (another physical condition) would you be considering having sex with a stranger because you FEEL some kind of warm attraction to some guy who looks at you in a certain way. I think that YOU need to start acting like a married woman and not some ditsy boy-crazy 14 year old.
Heretolearn
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2005
- Messages
- 575
- Reaction score
- 7
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.