"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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help asap.....dont know what to say

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FrankWank

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Crazy story!

I met this waitress at her job at this club couple weekends ago. We had a little convo..about 5 minutes.
I didnt ask for the number since i would some time later on return to the same club and see her again.

Couple days later, i seen her profile on this dating site. 2 pics and everything i asked about her in our convo was posted on her profile. I became a member and hit her up saying "have we met before, you look and sound very familiar?"

I noticed that same night she opened up the email i sent to her ( i get a response saying she opened my email) She waited a week to respond to me, which was last thursday. So today i opened up her return email and she says " your sssssssooooooo funny! i think we have met. darn, what a coincedence :)"
This is what her reply was

Now what do i say in return? Im replying to her 3 days later.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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D

diablo

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Is there any reason you have to reply to her on the internet? You know where she works, you've already met, and now you have a perfect opener. She's shown some attraction to you - signified by the fact that she wrote back in the first place - now go and meet her again in person, this time playing your cards right. Let us know how it goes. I believe that this would be far superior than just sending emails back and forth...
 
F

FrankWank

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the reason is she works at a club as a waitress. She's there PT. She works some friday and sat nights, so no set schedule. I dont want to go there every friday/sat night to just talk to her.If i end up going again, im gonna mack on some other chicks and i dont want to do that in her presence. I need to show her that i have a life and need not to go back to the same club. I guess its the mysteriuos thing.The internet is a different type of setting than a club. Her mind should be more clear than at work where every guy is jocking her

That is why im trying to contact her again by email maybe 1 more time
 
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FrankWank

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OR.......i can email asking when's the next time she works? Then i'll just go see her then?
 
T

The Bartender

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Originally posted by FrankWank
OR.......i can email asking when's the next time she works? Then i'll just go see her then?
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....and she'll think you're a stalker.

My advice: Don't reply back on email. Go in to that club when you want to (when you normally would). See her...Talk to her...ask "would you like to do something after work." She will decline most likely because servers at clubs get out around 2-3am. If she doesnt decline, then have something to do. If she declines...say, "we should talk some time when you aren't working." Then number close this chick.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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FrankWank

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Go in to that club when you want to (when you normally would). See her...Talk to her...ask "would you like to do something after work." She will decline most likely because servers at clubs get out around 2-3am. If she doesnt decline, then have something to do. If she declines...say, "we should talk some time when you aren't working." Then number close this chick.

If i do this, i'll be just like every other guy in the bar. Im sure she gets this rap every time. I like to be different.
 
T

The Bartender

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Every guy wants to do what I typed. You can go with your method but I tell you...if you show up when she says shes working she'll get wierded out.
 
F

FrankWank

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True.......i dont want to ask her when she's working then show up, so thanx for that

I want to pursue her romantically but i dont know her schedule and i dont want to pop up in the club every weekend to see if she's working part time. That would be wasting my time

Im leaning towards a short reply email to her then go from there, but im not sure on what to say
 
T

The Bartender

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How about this: Instead of asking when she works next, ask in your email "so how many nights a week do you work at XXX?" Most likely she'll reply with something like, "Oh I work 3 nights a week. Thursday, Friday, Saturday." She'll want to be more specific with a question like that so hopefully she'll open up to it. I honestly couldnt see her emailing back just a number and thats all.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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F

FrankWank

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Asking her that leads to me going on those nights just to see her again aka stalking

How about a question on her profile?
 
T

The Bartender

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I dont know her profile.

But the question the way i worded it doesnt sound so upfront and blunt about going in and seeing her the next time shes there. It lets you know when you can find her. Obviously dont go the next day if she says she works that day. Hell I wouldnt go for a week. Say you've been busy, or checking out the scene at other clubs.
 
J

J.A.M

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No disrespect to the other Posters but personally I think your ignoring a goldmine of opportunity-

Why not go into the club where she works and start busting on her about having her profile on a dating site implying she's a social retard. You could use some real ****y + funny lines on her especially when she counters with "Well you were on the site too" should make for some fun banter between the two of u.

****y and funny is the way to go with chicks :p
 
T

The Bartender

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Originally posted by J.A.M
No disrespect to the other Posters but personally I think your ignoring a goldmine of opportunity-

Why not go into the club where she works and start busting on her about having her profile on a dating site implying she's a social retard. You could use some real ****y + funny lines on her especially when she counters with "Well you were on the site too" should make for some fun banter between the two of u.

****y and funny is the way to go with chicks :p
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Be cautious on how c/f you get. With her being at work she might go straight into b!tch mode and get really defensive if you start embarassing her around co-workers
 
G

GaryNas

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Originally posted by J.A.M
No disrespect to the other Posters but personally I think your ignoring a goldmine of opportunity-

Why not go into the club where she works and start busting on her about having her profile on a dating site implying she's a social retard. You could use some real ****y + funny lines on her especially when she counters with "Well you were on the site too" should make for some fun banter between the two of u.

****y and funny is the way to go with chicks :p
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I completely agree with this. Go to her bar and say something like "I knew it was you!", then let the convo flow from there.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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T

The Bartender

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Originally posted by One on One
Go to the bar and order like 15 shots of vodka, then drop a Benjamin on her for tip....be a MAN! :)
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I hope you're kidding. The most AFC thing to do in a bar is trying to get recognized by tipping big.
 
O

One on One

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Originally posted by The Bartender
I hope you're kidding. The most AFC thing to do in a bar is trying to get recognized by tipping big.
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Of course I'm kidding....c'mon now....15 shots of vodka, yeah thats gonna impress her!
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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