HB 7 date lasted 2 hours, went well tonight. Was I friend zoned?

[RickTheToad]

Her ex bf moved here and then her parents did.

I can see how dating, especially in a major city where there are large quantities of females could add up quickly. I wonder how much some of these guys in big cities spend on dinner dates to try and impress? Especially places like NYC with expensive restaurants.

How does one date constantly and even afford it these days if you're going on a couple dates a week? Those dinners can add up.

No dinner. Just drinks and maybe an app if things are progressing. It's not rock science. A lady isn't going to get wet for a dude just because he bought her a juicy steak.

 

[devilkingx2]

Why are people so against dinner dates on here as a first date?

They're expensive, hard to turn into sex, long & boring (unless you or preferably both of you have a lot of charisma), uncreative/generic, etc.

A good date costs you as little as possible, is fun for both of you, and is likely to get you sex ASAP.

 

[redskinsfan92]

Anyway, I went out with that HB 7 tonight at a small seafood place by the water. The lady is a solid HB7. Not no super hottie but very cute, and she's 4 years older than me.

Very nice woman and we had dinner and talked for about 2 hours despite getting but up by bugs. She seemed pretty mature for her age too. Anyway just general chit chat and a bit of flirting I did with her.

She commented when we met tonight how young I look though just like she did on the app and texting. Thought I looked more like mid 20s. I mean that's a good thing, BUT I think with these 40 year old women they prefer someone their age or a couple years older.

I did take a note a couple times like she said "next time I'll take you out to visit so so" Island she works on at the restaurant and show me around. And I joked with her a bit about that too. Anyway, she commented about not meeting a lot of decent guys down here and lack of younger people and overall running into nerds, pervs etc. trying to use POF and facebook dating and joked how I've been the better date so far. She said she's looking for friends first before getting into a relationship and see where it leads from there. I see that as sounding legit but it worried me based on how she described other guys and that. So I tamed my game down a bit and backed off on the flirting a tad.

I only drank 2 beers since I had to drive 25 miles. She made the comment if I could drive home okay. She's a former state trooper btw. She lived just 10 minutes away. Maybe I should have drank more LOL and said I needed some time to recover. Maybe she would have taken me to her place!

Anyway, 2 hours date. I hugged her afterwards. The way she stood there and hugged me the way she had her cheek turned she wanted me to give her a peck on the side, BUT then I remember she said she likes to take things slow and just be friends and maybe that would been too much and an instant turn off.

Overall okay date I think since it lasted two hours. The only thing I wonder about is if I look too young and boyish for her and if she was friend zoning me because she said she has very few friends around here.

If she perceived as alpha she wouldn't say I like to take things slow. Sexual relationships do not start out as friends first.

 

[corrector]

Her ex bf moved here and then her parents did.

I can see how dating, especially in a major city where there are large quantities of females could add up quickly. I wonder how much some of these guys in big cities spend on dinner dates to try and impress? Especially places like NYC with expensive restaurants.

How does one date constantly and even afford it these days if you're going on a couple dates a week? Those dinners can add up.

Will you just stop complaining about dinners adding up!!! I hope you don't have this tight attitude on your dates. Women hate it when you complain about money, the like it when you spend it on them.

 

[corrector]

No dinner. Just drinks and maybe an app if things are progressing. It's not rock science. A lady isn't going to get wet for a dude just because he bought her a juicy steak.

Her mouth might get wet for the steak though.

 

[Barrister]

Anyway, I went out with that HB 7 tonight at a small seafood place by the water. The lady is a solid HB7. Not no super hottie but very cute, and she's 4 years older than me.

Very nice woman and we had dinner and talked for about 2 hours despite getting but up by bugs. She seemed pretty mature for her age too. Anyway just general chit chat and a bit of flirting I did with her.

She commented when we met tonight how young I look though just like she did on the app and texting. Thought I looked more like mid 20s. I mean that's a good thing, BUT I think with these 40 year old women they prefer someone their age or a couple years older.

I did take a note a couple times like she said "next time I'll take you out to visit so so" Island she works on at the restaurant and show me around. And I joked with her a bit about that too. Anyway, she commented about not meeting a lot of decent guys down here and lack of younger people and overall running into nerds, pervs etc. trying to use POF and facebook dating and joked how I've been the better date so far. She said she's looking for friends first before getting into a relationship and see where it leads from there. I see that as sounding legit but it worried me based on how she described other guys and that. So I tamed my game down a bit and backed off on the flirting a tad.

I only drank 2 beers since I had to drive 25 miles. She made the comment if I could drive home okay. She's a former state trooper btw. She lived just 10 minutes away. Maybe I should have drank more LOL and said I needed some time to recover. Maybe she would have taken me to her place!

Anyway, 2 hours date. I hugged her afterwards. The way she stood there and hugged me the way she had her cheek turned she wanted me to give her a peck on the side, BUT then I remember she said she likes to take things slow and just be friends and maybe that would been too much and an instant turn off.

Overall okay date I think since it lasted two hours. The only thing I wonder about is if I look too young and boyish for her and if she was friend zoning me because she said she has very few friends around here.

The "wanting to be friends first and taking it slow" comment is just typical female-speak that doesn't mean anything so I wouldn't waste any time thinking about it. Everything else you mentioned though was a negative (at least if you actually wanted to get with her). Specifically:

1. Paying for the whole meal -- only do this if you have been dating for awhile and alternate who picks up the tab;
2. Giving her a hug afterwards -- the quickest way to friendzone yourself is to act like a "friend" and not like a man who wants her in your bed. You could tell she wanted a peck at the end of the date? You should have been having heavy kino and kissing throughout the date already. Hence why dinner is always a terrible decision for a first date. You are typically sitting far apart making nonchalant kino difficult as opposed to sitting at a bar having a drink or two and having your legs and hands touch, etc. to build up to kissing. Dinner is a good third or fourth date option to keep the fires stoked after you have already had her in your bed.
3. Sticking around for two hours - while this in itself wouldn't be a bad thing necessarily, the fact you made no move whatsoever in this amount of time probably means you are dead in the water with this one. Combined with just a hug afterwards where you didn't even try to kiss her?

On to the next.

 

[corrector]

If she's 40, there's an ex and kids. If she's 40, the kids are probably still in the house.

If she's a former cop who moved to another state where the cop pay sucks, the ex is probably a cop, too. Why does a woman with kids move to a state where she can't continue to do her job?

Red flags all over the place.

In general, though, [disclaimer: not that i know anything about online dating, other than that i wouldn't do it] if you want to skip all the friendzone crap, and target only women interested in you for casual sex, might want to include in your profile that you have a strict 2 date policy, which is that you refuse to have sex on the first date, BUT you'll go anywhere she wants on the first date....anywhere but home with her. Only catch is that the woman always pays for the first date. Personally, I'd go further than that, but I know it's a tough concept for a lot of guys to adapt to.

FWIW

He can't afford to pass a woman even if she has allot of red-flags. Beggars can't be choosers or qualifiers because anything is better than nothing. He will chase away more women and end up dating nobody if he changes his profile. This advice only works with Chad-lites.

 

[biggoal]

If she's 40, there's an ex and kids. If she's 40, the kids are probably still in the house.

If she's a former cop who moved to another state where the cop pay sucks, the ex is probably a cop, too. Why does a woman with kids move to a state where she can't continue to do her job?

Red flags all over the place.

In general, though, [disclaimer: not that i know anything about online dating, other than that i wouldn't do it] if you want to skip all the friendzone crap, and target only women interested in you for casual sex, might want to include in your profile that you have a strict 2 date policy, which is that you refuse to have sex on the first date, BUT you'll go anywhere she wants on the first date....anywhere but home with her. Only catch is that the woman always pays for the first date. Personally, I'd go further than that, but I know it's a tough concept for a lot of guys to adapt to.

FWIW

Why do you not like old?

 

[Hal9000]

Doesn't sound like a bad date overall. Maybe no fireworks but I've had first dates that ended with no kiss and had me scratching my head a bit and on the next date we were screwing like bunnies, so who can say for sure! Assuming she still seems receptive post date I'd ask her out again if you like her. You do absolutely need to kiss her at some point in the second date, and ideally not wait til the very end.

 

[lgbs2004]

So you drove 25 miles and spent 60 bucks just to hug an old lady? Congratulations!

 

[biggoal]

So you drove 25 miles and spent 60 bucks just to hug an old lady? Congratulations!

So 39 is old for this forum lol? I would take a hb9 19 year old if you can find me one!

 

[biggoal]

I'm only half joking. Seriously, I'm about the same age as Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise. The difference is, depending who you ask(most people), they're better looking....and they have more zeros in the bank.

There really isn't anything new about online dating, though; it's just a high tech version of the personal ads lonely people used to place in newspapers, when I was a kid, repackaged for the instant gratification generation.

If I were to do online dating, this is what I would do, though, if I didn't feel like I could get away with the advice I already gave you:

I would put some of my hobbies into my profile, and tell any girl interested in meeting me, that our first date was going to involve one of my hobbies, period, non-negotiable. Don't care if she's never done it before. I'll teach her, but if she isn't at least adventurous enough to try it once, she isn't my kind of girl anyway.

That way, you're doing something you already enjoy, and that you'd be doing whether she were there or not, instead of spending money in a restaurant you would never go to, wearing shoes that make you uncomfortable, talking about bullsh1t that bores the crap out of you, and trying impress a girl you don't even know if you like, yet.

This way you're treating the woman like the optional accessory she really is, instead of giving her the false impression you're going to make her the new center of your universe. She either jumps in your sidecar or waves goodbye to you from the street corner, as you leave a dust cloud.

Doesn't matter what your hobby is. If you like skydiving, take her skydiving. If you like scuba, do that. If you won a couple buckles, back in the day, take her riding. Just make sure it's something YOU like to do, so you aren't wasting your time and money doing something you hate, to impress someone you don't know. Probably best if it isn't camping or hunting....although a date at the firing range could be really cool, especially if you're a retired 18-B, and she's Jane Fonda. LOL

There was a thread on here before about hobbies to meet women. But as people stated hobbies us guys are into really dont attract women.

 

[biggoal]

Well, that's all I've got for ya, buddy. Combine the 2 approaches, if you like. Tell her that if she wants to do something different, you'll do it, but she's paying.

How many days would you wait before asking her on a second date?

 

[RickTheToad]

Her mouth might get wet for the steak though.

True, but not her pvssy.

So 39 is old for this forum lol? I would take a hb9 19 year old if you can find me one!

Why are you dating four+ years older than you?

 

[2Rocky]

 

[Suave88]

Anyway, I went out with that HB 7 tonight at a small seafood place by the water. The lady is a solid HB7. Not no super hottie but very cute, and she's 4 years older than me.

Very nice woman and we had dinner and talked for about 2 hours despite getting but up by bugs. She seemed pretty mature for her age too. Anyway just general chit chat and a bit of flirting I did with her.

She commented when we met tonight how young I look though just like she did on the app and texting. Thought I looked more like mid 20s. I mean that's a good thing, BUT I think with these 40 year old women they prefer someone their age or a couple years older.

I did take a note a couple times like she said "next time I'll take you out to visit so so" Island she works on at the restaurant and show me around. And I joked with her a bit about that too. Anyway, she commented about not meeting a lot of decent guys down here and lack of younger people and overall running into nerds, pervs etc. trying to use POF and facebook dating and joked how I've been the better date so far. She said she's looking for friends first before getting into a relationship and see where it leads from there. I see that as sounding legit but it worried me based on how she described other guys and that. So I tamed my game down a bit and backed off on the flirting a tad.

I only drank 2 beers since I had to drive 25 miles. She made the comment if I could drive home okay. She's a former state trooper btw. She lived just 10 minutes away. Maybe I should have drank more LOL and said I needed some time to recover. Maybe she would have taken me to her place!

Anyway, 2 hours date. I hugged her afterwards. The way she stood there and hugged me the way she had her cheek turned she wanted me to give her a peck on the side, BUT then I remember she said she likes to take things slow and just be friends and maybe that would been too much and an instant turn off.

Overall okay date I think since it lasted two hours. The only thing I wonder about is if I look too young and boyish for her and if she was friend zoning me because she said she has very few friends around here.

The only word I dont like from your the description of your date is the word "friend."
You must have been born in 1983.

 

[biggoal]

True, but not her pvssy.



Why are you dating four+ years older than you?

Because around here that is really that is on old that are decent looking. Very few women under 35 on there unless they have baggage or ugly and I dont see very many young people around her. If I could find a decent 29 year old I would be touching women older than me. But hey if they're 4 years older but decent looking I gotta take what I can get. I notice from old though all these older women have red flags I notice. Why is that?

 

[Suave88]

I don't believe taking bytches to dinners. Get'em some Starbucks coffee or sweeten ice tea.

 

[Suave88]

How many days would you wait before asking her on a second date?

I would wait a week and take her to the dancing floor. Or just take her out this weekend.

 

[biggoal]

I would wait a week and take her to the dancing floor. Or just take her out this weekend.

Maybe contact her tomorrow night then?