"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Having a really bad problem talking to girls
- Thread starter JPlaya
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Solomon
Master Don Juan
you only need a first chanceJPlaya said:
if you are approaching women and talking to them for 4 or 5 minutes and not requesting their phone numbers right then, you are failing
you don't need her permission to request her phone number. just hand her your phone and tell her to punch her number in. or go old school like me and hand her a pad and a pen and direct her to "write her number down"
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
what if a meteor from outer space lands on top of the both of you, or a car runs off the road and runs you over?JPlaya said:
just give up now if you are going to live your life based on "what if?"
or maybe we can live our life based on "what if":
What if she enthusiastically agrees, writes her number down, you take her on a date, she loves it and eventually loves you and you have a relationship with a great girl?
perseverance
Guest
I'd just say "well here's your chance to get to know me better" as I hand my phone over to her. I don't know if that sounds corny or lame, but it's what I would come out with.JPlaya said:
Iceberg
Master Don Juan
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Mike32ct
Master Don Juan
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Definitely. Try something. You have nothing to lose.JPlaya said:
This last part is off-topic but related to the "out of the gym" thing. When you do get laid, don't even shower right after. Throw your (wrinkled lol) clothes back on and return to the bar or club that same night if you can. I did that once after a quick lay and go mad eye contact, and a makeout. I could have easily gotten a second pull, but I was too tired to pursue it. My confidence was through the roof, and I swear they could just smell s*x on me lol. It's a fun experiment if they're still open.