Haven’t been on here in a long time still trying to get my life together

BaronOfHair

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I don’t wanna dox myself by saying what state...
You'll only dox yourself if you provide the exact city you live in + Your exact address, none of which I'm asking for here. Tell me what state you live in, and BEFORE the end of business today, I can provide you with some leads on securing a different residence
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

Divorced w 3

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You'll only dox yourself if you provide the exact city you live in + Your exact address, none of which I'm asking for here. Tell me what state you live in, and BEFORE the end of business today, I can provide you with some leads on securing a different residence
This is a really nice offer tbh
 

BackInTheGame78

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There an old sage maxim

“Never give advice.
The wise don’t need it
And fools don’t heed it”

I don’t get the point of these Game forums at all.

Every advice thread seems to go this way.
Is anyone here learning anything at all?? Or getting any better with women?? I highly doubt.

@needimprovement250
I’ll restate it what I said before , just go and pay for play.
An escort cannot cost $3K where you are. Nope, can’t believe that. That’s BS. It’ll be $1000-$1200 tops.
Go to a brothel and bang a few cheap h00kers that look acceptable to you.
Or fly to Las Vegas. $200-$300 there I’m sure x
There’s no excuse.

you’re situation is completely cooked mate.
You’re basically a sub5 smv male and you’re fvcked basically. It’s going to take years to improve for you.

check out this channel on YT and learn why. It has some brutal truths but better to accept the facts and live in reality. great channel.


Godspeed brother :rofl:
I always like the quote:

"Advice is seldom welcome; and those who need it the most always like it the least"
 

Arete

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I mean I will say that I have zero rejection immunity since I’ve never actually been rejected by women and only feared it, and you develop rejection immunity by being rejected by women, so dating apps could be good because rejection happens so often and could get me used to being rejected and maybe I’ll get some first dates out of it and that will help with my lack of experience too. I think I would feel more comfortable approaching if I was to attend singles events or something like that where women are more receptive to being approached.
I'm somewhat close to your age; I have never even had a girlfriend my whole life. Want to know what I did? I went to an event with lots of people and walked up to three 18yo HB8s. I have been an extreme introvert, living as a shut-in for years. In my mind, it was like stepping into an active war zone. I did everything wrong that I could have done wrong, and all that happened was she told me, "Sorry, I have a boyfriend" while blushing. The other two girls giggled. And I must have blushed more than all of them.

My initial target was to do this 5 times and then call it a day. I walked around for almost 6 hours to finally make my very first approach. Felt like I decided to walk into my own execution, yet the second attempt took me barely 10 minutes!

And imagine! My second try ever. Two HB8-9, 18yo, college girls, even competing in sports at a national level. All I did was ask if I could buy them something to drink. It, however, was supremely smooth, James Bond style. Because, in my mind, there was zero chance anyway, this could possibly work. I talked about sports and my job, still not realizing what was happening. What I said was, "I'm doing weightlifting and sprints. For a living, I do different things, some of them involve real estate." What they probably heard was "I'm a sports Superstar and also Wolf of Wall Street." I kid you not, low-key <reverse kino> happened. At this point, my mind caught up with the current situation and was hopelessly overwhelmed. I started wondering if this was even real life, leading a monologue in my head instead of talking. Then her friends joined in. I was shortly the center of attention for multiple beautiful young women, even with high-level guys around. Of course, it all fell apart shortly after. It ended spectacularly pathetic. I don't want to get into detail for my own sanity. I honestly was close to crying when I drove home.

But looking back, it was what gave me hope for this DJ stuff to actually work. And it was the deciding experience to start the DJ Boot camp. So far, I'm making good progress towards the person I want to be.

My point? Do you think I could have gained such an amount of experience with online dating? As an absolute beginner at that?

If you lack very far behind, you need to be aggressive with your methods, not passive.

That’s happened to me and it’s alarming, I’ve gotten hard to the idea of watching women have sex over me myself having sex with her, because porn can totally rewire your brain’s sexual responses to where you’re more aroused by being in third person and watching others have sex than you are by having sex yourself
there are porn addicts who have actually become cuckolds because of their porn addiction and I’ve worried about that happening to me.
I'm, confident that along the way this will resolve itself.

My case is pretty severe. My physical attraction is directed to my computer and my own fantasies. If I'm going out and talking to women, no matter how attractive, I don't feel much physically. It's not some sort of issue with my libido, because that part is on the higher site. This is what porn on a screen does to you.

But if even someone like me can improve, surely you can too?

Hopefully, my story motivates you a bit to give it a try before getting overly attached to online dating. In my opinion, that would only slow you down.

And also, I think the reason why many act the way they do here is because, at the end of the day, everyone wants everyone they interact with to be successfull.
 

BeExcellent

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Advice from the old lady:

1. Stop making excuses
2. Move into another place (get a roomshare where interaction with others is required....check craigslist, your metro will have listings.) Spend some money on rent rather than alcohol & dope, build some self worth & leave less money for porn and booze & drugs.
3. Workout each day (walk/sprint/walk) for at least 30 minutes. Agree joining a gym is best.

Reduce the amount of $ you have for booze/dope/porn by paying rent and gas and gym fee.

Go outside & talk to people.

Your parents are part of the problem. They are enabling you. That's terrible parenting. My kids are kicked out after high school graduation OR they owe an adult's share of the rent. They grew up knowing this. My kids are all working & launching into their own lives. Your parents should never have allowed you to move back.

You gotta grow up. You are 33 or whatever, living like a 14 year old. No woman is going to take you seriously because you don't take adulting seriously.

Quit worrying about women. You got bigger fish to fry. Do 1., 2., and 3., above. Porn/dope/booze and mooching off parents is for losers.

Stop being a loser (see simple steps above).
 

BackInTheGame78

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Advice from the old lady:

1. Stop making excuses
2. Move into another place (get a roomshare where interaction with others is required....check craigslist, your metro will have listings.) Spend some money on rent rather than alcohol & dope, build some self worth & leave less money for porn and booze & drugs.
3. Workout each day (walk/sprint/walk) for at least 30 minutes. Agree joining a gym is best.

Reduce the amount of $ you have for booze/dope/porn by paying rent and gas and gym fee.

Go outside & talk to people.

Your parents are part of the problem. They are enabling you. That's terrible parenting. My kids are kicked out after high school graduation OR they owe an adult's share of the rent. They grew up knowing this. My kids are all working & launching into their own lives. Your parents should never have allowed you to move back.

You gotta grow up. You are 33 or whatever, living like a 14 year old. No woman is going to take you seriously because you don't take adulting seriously.

Quit worrying about women. You got bigger fish to fry. Do 1., 2., and 3., above. Porn/dope/booze and mooching off parents is for losers.

Stop being a loser (see simple steps above).
Harsh but true.
 

BaronOfHair

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This is a really nice offer tbh
When I first ended up on out on my ass unexpectedly at 17(Cops kicked in the door at 7AM one morning, arrested the folks who owned the place. Social services took my siblings into custody, informed me that I'd aged out of their concern, instructed me to scram), I had no idea what to do, and someone had to provide yours truly similar intel. This is me paying it forward

Side-note, @needimprovement250 : There are men on this planet who are plagued by far graver psych difficulties than those you're experiencing
Yet who've still created vibrant lives for themselves, marriage and kids included

So there's hope for you. All that's left is for you to start saying "Yes" to the aid you're so often provided
 

needimprovement250

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Ummm , and how do you know all this exactly?
And that even you know it doesn’t take years?

(You being the 33 yo still struggling with dating, and has still never had a girlfriend in all that time. W/ massive approach anxiety and issues with weed booze and p0rn.)

How do you know the timeline of improvement w women so well .. have you done it before.

look how long it took Neil Strauss. And all the **** he had to do. Same story with you bro. And he had multiple mentors holding his hand.
.
I don’t know who Neil Strauss is, other than he wrote a book. But this absolutely doesn’t take years to accomplish and like I already said, banging hookers doesn’t speed up the process anyway. It doesn’t take years to build your body up in the gym, you’ll see noticeable gains in 6-8 months but you have to stick with your routine. If you work with a dating coach, research game and use resources the info available on this site, Neil’s book maybe, and go through some trial and error in the field with women, it can absolutely be achieved in less time that years.

Once again, weed and booze are not major issues with me. Porn is the biggest issue and I’ve already outlined how I’m planning on quitting that and stepping back from booze. Getting annoying having to repeat that so many times.
 

needimprovement250

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You'll only dox yourself if you provide the exact city you live in + Your exact address, none of which I'm asking for here. Tell me what state you live in, and BEFORE the end of business today, I can provide you with some leads on securing a different residence
Oh you can find out a lot even by just the state a person lives in. Like I already said, I’ve looked multiple times in my area, nothing like that is available.

Advice from the old lady:

1. Stop making excuses
2. Move into another place (get a roomshare where interaction with others is required....check craigslist, your metro will have listings.) Spend some money on rent rather than alcohol & dope, build some self worth & leave less money for porn and booze & drugs.
3. Workout each day (walk/sprint/walk) for at least 30 minutes. Agree joining a gym is best.

Reduce the amount of $ you have for booze/dope/porn by paying rent and gas and gym fee.

Go outside & talk to people.

Your parents are part of the problem. They are enabling you. That's terrible parenting. My kids are kicked out after high school graduation OR they owe an adult's share of the rent. They grew up knowing this. My kids are all working & launching into their own lives. Your parents should never have allowed you to move back.

You gotta grow up. You are 33 or whatever, living like a 14 year old. No woman is going to take you seriously because you don't take adulting seriously.

Quit worrying about women. You got bigger fish to fry. Do 1., 2., and 3., above. Porn/dope/booze and mooching off parents is for losers.

Stop being a loser (see simple steps above).
1. I’m not making excuses, I have already stated on this thread what I plan to do in order to improve multiple times.
2. I interact with others on a daily basis, that doesn’t include my parents either. I have a friend group and interact with people I don’t know all the time at work. I don’t know if you got the idea that I’m some kind of shut in who stays in his room all day and is closed off from society, but I’m not. Like I also mentioned previously, I will be moving out once I get into a better paying job and that’s gonna be in the near future, I already did live with a roommate in the motel I was in and that roommate happened to be a woman too.

3. I already said I was planning on doing that, I’ve said so multiple times on this thread that I’m going to do what I can in that regard with the little free time I have and then do more once I get more free time.

You are totally making generalizations without even asking me questions and I really don’t appreciate it. I already do pay for my own gas and car repairs right now and have been for many years, I also pay for my own food and groceries and other living expenses too.

Nobody calls weed dope anymore, so you definitely are an old timer, but you referred to yourself as an old lady so I guess that makes sense. How many more times do I have to say that I’m laying off the porn and booze? I’ve said that multiple times already and people like you are still harping on about it. I’m not quitting weed though.

My parents wanted me to come back, I didn’t even want to come back but I no longer have the money to keep staying in motel rooms. I already mentioned the things I pay for above, and I also cook and clean up after myself. I’m not mooching off of them and will leave for good once my income is higher, you are making generalizations once again.

If I didn’t take adulting seriously, I wouldn’t be working as often as I can to pay my own way and move out, yet another generalization. Of course I’m gonna worry about women because I’m in my 30’s and have never dated, even though it isn’t the most important issue I’m facing, even I can see that.
 

BaronOfHair

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@needimprovement250 "Oh you can find out a lot even by just the state a person lives in. Like I already said, I’ve looked multiple times in my area, nothing like that is available"

DM me then. I won't share any "deets" you provide with anyone else. Note:

Someone(me)is offering to residence hunt on your behalf. Decline this offer, and I'll be compelled to infer that your commitment to living independently is more non-existent than The White House's dedication to upholding The Constitution
 

needimprovement250

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I'm somewhat close to your age; I have never even had a girlfriend my whole life. Want to know what I did? I went to an event with lots of people and walked up to three 18yo HB8s. I have been an extreme introvert, living as a shut-in for years. In my mind, it was like stepping into an active war zone. I did everything wrong that I could have done wrong, and all that happened was she told me, "Sorry, I have a boyfriend" while blushing. The other two girls giggled. And I must have blushed more than all of them.

My initial target was to do this 5 times and then call it a day. I walked around for almost 6 hours to finally make my very first approach. Felt like I decided to walk into my own execution, yet the second attempt took me barely 10 minutes!

And imagine! My second try ever. Two HB8-9, 18yo, college girls, even competing in sports at a national level. All I did was ask if I could buy them something to drink. It, however, was supremely smooth, James Bond style. Because, in my mind, there was zero chance anyway, this could possibly work. I talked about sports and my job, still not realizing what was happening. What I said was, "I'm doing weightlifting and sprints. For a living, I do different things, some of them involve real estate." What they probably heard was "I'm a sports Superstar and also Wolf of Wall Street." I kid you not, low-key <reverse kino> happened. At this point, my mind caught up with the current situation and was hopelessly overwhelmed. I started wondering if this was even real life, leading a monologue in my head instead of talking. Then her friends joined in. I was shortly the center of attention for multiple beautiful young women, even with high-level guys around. Of course, it all fell apart shortly after. It ended spectacularly pathetic. I don't want to get into detail for my own sanity. I honestly was close to crying when I drove home.

But looking back, it was what gave me hope for this DJ stuff to actually work. And it was the deciding experience to start the DJ Boot camp. So far, I'm making good progress towards the person I want to be.

My point? Do you think I could have gained such an amount of experience with online dating? As an absolute beginner at that?

If you lack very far behind, you need to be aggressive with your methods, not passive.





I'm, confident that along the way this will resolve itself.

My case is pretty severe. My physical attraction is directed to my computer and my own fantasies. If I'm going out and talking to women, no matter how attractive, I don't feel much physically. It's not some sort of issue with my libido, because that part is on the higher site. This is what porn on a screen does to you.

But if even someone like me can improve, surely you can too?

Hopefully, my story motivates you a bit to give it a try before getting overly attached to online dating. In my opinion, that would only slow you down.

And also, I think the reason why many act the way they do here is because, at the end of the day, everyone wants everyone they interact with to be successfull.
Props to you for pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and forcing yourself to go do that. Like I did say in my last reply to you, I am willing to attend singles events to get myself started. Maybe that would be better than online dating because it requires me to interact with women in person instead of via messaging over the phone, not much different from what we’re doing right here. One thing I do like about the story you shared is you seem to be making progress at a pretty respectable pace, Cheeky_James seems to think this type of improvement with women will take years to achieve. I personally don’t believe that and your story proves that it doesn’t take years to achieve.

I mean I guess that’s a good point, maybe I’m too argumentative for my own good. I’ve just gotten annoyed when I’ve made it clear that I’m trying to improve things and some people here are still trying to say that I’m making excuses and being lazy.
 

needimprovement250

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@needimprovement250 "Oh you can find out a lot even by just the state a person lives in. Like I already said, I’ve looked multiple times in my area, nothing like that is available"

DM me then. I won't share any "deets" you provide with anyone else. Note:

Someone(me)is offering to residence hunt on your behalf. Decline this offer, and I'll be compelled to infer that your commitment to living independently is more non-existent than The White House's dedication to upholding The Constitution
Dude, you don’t need to do that. Why are you so insistent that I need to have been moved out at this very moment when I have already said that it would make my financial situation even worse than it currently is, and that I will be moved out in the near future anyway since that is my first order of business after getting a better paying job after education, and that my education is almost done? Infer what you want, but I’m not taking on unnecessary financial hardship when I can move out with ease in the near future.
 

Arete

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you seem to be making progress at a pretty respectable pace,
Absolutely. One guy at the gym once told me, "If you want to look like you are on gear, you just have to train like you are on gear". Of course he was a total meathead. But he's got a point. If you put close to superhuman effort into something, you naturally will get incredible results.

I personally don’t believe that and your story proves that it doesn’t take years to achieve.
You misunderstand to some degree. The thing is, I have already spent years on my physique and on money. Humans have been incomparably more scary to me, and I was "saving" it for last. If, at the peak of Mount Everest, an HB would have been guaranteed to be waiting for me, you better believe I would have gone up all the way. I would have even carried her down if I had to. Even if it took me 10 years to get ready. So I did everything else first. My main weakness is that I'm the most socially awkward person there is. Hence, I ultimately failed to achieve anything in this story.

If you lack everything, and you intend to gain one before the other, it will indeed take years. I know because it did for me. Instead, it's far more efficient to actually half-ass everything consistently at once. Because the brain needs time to adjust anyway. It's for that reason I was saying you should start with the gym asap. Start with 30-45 minutes two times a week in the morning. Go hard with main lifts, and it will give you almost the same gains as doing 90 minutes three to four times a week.

My understanding is, that women and people in general judge you by the sum you are.

Plainly speaking, take small steps in every direction at once. I recommend writing your stuff down. Either physically or in an app. Track your progress. This will start a productive cycle of you analyzing, self-criticizing, and readjusting. In other words, you see your own shortcomings and act upon them.
 
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