"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Have you ever cried over a girl?

AlmostThere!

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In your adult life with tears streaming down your face?

It could have been because of a breakup, not getting the girl you wanted, or not getting any girls at all.

How are you doing now? How did you overcome?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Tiguere

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Yes I have. Getting dumped and my heart ripped to my pieces played a pivotal role in discovering so suave.
 

SandHawk

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Yes, my first real girlfriend I was with for almost 9 years. Tore my heart to shreds, caused me to cry for a few weeks, then I manned up, found SoSuave and started reading the material, signed up on the forums much later.

How I'm doing now? I feel 10x better without her than with her, because she was making my life less valuable than it was, she made it boring. How I overcame it? I decided life wasn't worth being depressed over a girl and that I needed new friends. And so I did.
 

CaptainJ

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Yes. Probably the most pathetic moment in my life. 2 years ago I cried at a party because my oneitis was playing games with me. Luckily I went to the back of the garden to cry alone, so i managed to save SOME face. Still, I think i got a bad rep because I was infatuated with her and she was seemedly running me around.

Ofcourse now it's a different story, as she's now the one attracted to me.

I used to feel pain just remembering how pathetic I was, but now I just laugh and realise how far I've come.
 

SoldMySoul

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Man.... Hell yes I have!!! Anyone that has been hurt has! I have cried like a little bitty bytch! Like others said, I look back and see how far I have come.

It is about experience. When the person you love breaks your heart, it happens. Crying is good for you as it releases endorphins.

With all that said, I promised myself never to get attached to another one like before.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Reckoning

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I remember times when I was really down. Far from suicidal, but absolutely broken. Wouldn't come across this web-site if I didn't look up "how to get out of the friend zone" on Google.
 

Desdinova

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I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Just don't let nobody see you and don't sit and wallow in your sadness. Cry it out then move on with your life.
 

Warrior74

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I went through all 5 stages of grief when my ex and I split and I couldn't see my daughter anymore.

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

I think it was about 3 months after we broke up, I was in the shower and it hit me. I just had to shake it off and keep going, put on a brave face.
 

Danton1975

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Yes I have...It happened a year ago. I was heavily invested in her...Cried for an entire hour while she was on the phone. All along realizing it was the wrong thing to do but continuing on the suicide mission. Zorba said it best: "Boss, you should never cry in front of women because they look to us as pillars of strength and when a man cries the poor little things lose faith in men in general"

When someone that loved you and you love intensely finally ditches you...you suddenly feel the utter loneliness of it all. You cannot comprehend their cruel indifference...it is sureal yet very much real. I realized then for the first time that though social we are very solitary beings...and ultimately...have only ourselves to depend upon. We are like ships...and relationships are like a temporary harbor. It was a very dark lesson but I am thankful I learned it at 33 instead of 53.
 

scammbone

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Oh man, yes. After a 4yr long relationship. I look back a think what a sorry mofo! But then you move on and find SoSuave and dump your AFC ways. Lol

I can't ever imagine crying over some girl ever again. Seems like heartbreak was what led most of the guys here to find SoSuave. I decided top being a b!tchass and allowing myself to be trampled by women.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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HeyPachuco!

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Most definetly. One of the worst days of my life too. I'd just broke up with my long-term girlfriend. I wanted to fight anyone for like the first week. I couldn't even go into college that day. The feeling of not being able to do nothing, powerless feeling is horribly haunting.

What made matters worse was my barber gave me a terrible haircut for 10 quid. I just wanted to kick the bucket.
 
A

Aazman

Guest
yes... and now that your on this site. That is mine AND YOUR last time.
 

xectxny19x

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yes. she wasn't even worth it. now every time i think i've found the most amazing chic, from experience, there are always others who will come along and make you wonder what you ever saw in that chic.
 

jophil28

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I sure have - those tears were streaming down my face in an uncontrollable tidal wave ... then I finally managed to prise her jaws open and released the grip of her dentures on my d1ck.

Damn , that hurt .

That's what I got for being charitable to a granny cougar.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Alle_Gory

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Yup. But never lost face in front of other people. Luckily I can hold **** together until I get time to vent.

Danton1975 said:
though social we are very solitary beings...and ultimately...have only ourselves to depend upon
Agreed.
 

Interceptor

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Yes.

Im doing better now.


With a lot of self evaluation and examination. And analyzing the circumstances, I felt a little better able to see what happened. And at the same time doinng a lot of chakra healing work, martial art training, sharing my experience with close trustworthy friends, bodybuilding, journaling, reading inspiring literature, music,Reiki /energy healing,affirmations,EFT, mantras, and going out into nature. And basically , looking deep into myself and looking at what are my flaws, and working on turning them into strengths. BUt this is all an unending process. These things should be done regularly, so there isnt as much as a massive impact in these types of situations. Taking care of oneself during the relationship is extremely important. And working on one Self is the way you can bring more to your partner,

Communication is criritcal. If one can gain information on what what one did wrong, it can help too. But only if one desires to improve. And to seek to release ego and the need to protect an ego self image.
And to seek to understand your partner better, their past, their choices,their behaviors, their preferences, and their intentions. What are their hurts? What are yours?
What do you think you can do better next time?
What do you need to change about yourself?

Are you taking care of yourself?
Physically
Mentally
Emotionally
Spirirually


Are you nurturing yourself?

Crying is a response to sadness. Its natural.Grieving is natural.
Dont seek to hide it, and dont seek to minimize it.
Your hurt is your own, and your process is your own.

A lot of people do not have the empathy and sympathy to truly feel and recognize your pain, and more, your level of pain, grief, and sadness.

So they may not place the same value and what you feel you went through and what you may have lost.
But they are not you.
And you must understand that some people will not validate your feelings, nor feel your pain. They may seek to minimize it and discount it, and invalidate it. But they cant.
Thats ok.

Go through your process at your own pace, your own Timing.
You cant hurry up and finish processing, grieving, and fixing your weak points on someone else's forced upon schedule.
Everyone has their own timing for growth. And we have to respect that.
We have to respect our own. And we have to respect that other people may not understand us, nor may want to.

But continue to work to a better YOU, and a better more balanced, whole, and mature perspective on relationships, and understand what your triggers are, what are your imperfections, what are your fears....
And shine a light on them and face them, face yourself, and move through it all with courage.

Good luck.
 

mtlwlu

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I shed one tear in the shower and swore to myself never to feel that again, the next day I downloaded "double your dating" and found this form...havent looked back since.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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