Hi everyone. I'm a newcomer here. This is my first post. I originally tried posting this on r/seduction, but I received little actionable advice, so I thought I'd try posting it here instead.
I’ve been doing day game for a little over five months now (I’m not into nightlife and thus night game, and my overall goal is to acquire long-term relationships, not casual sex). I started out doing indoor game (primarily at malls) because I found it a more conducive environment, but the limited number of venues meant I had to go to the same ones over and over again until I could tell the staff were getting wary of me, and I transitioned to street game (which I find to be a much less conducive environment, alas), which I’ve been doing for about a month now. To date, I’ve been going out every day except when prohibited either by the weather or by other commitments. Until recently, I was doing 12 approaches per day, although have recently temporarily cut that to 6. I’ve been watching half-an-hour’s worth of instructional videos per day (an hour’s worth on days when I’ve been forced to skip), and through them, I believe I’m now privy to the majority of insider concepts. I’ve been using ChatGPT as a coach, posting daily field reports to it after each day for feedback. To date, I’ve done exactly 1,325 total approaches (I’ve been keeping a precise written tally of everything from the number of group approaches I’ve done to the number of times I’ve had sex). Most notably, I met a girlfriend surprisingly early-on (at a supermarket, via more-or-less the routine described below) who I was in a relationship with for about 4 months, and who I really liked/seemed to vibe really well with, until she abruptly broke up with me recently (she said that a bad past relationship made her afraid of being in one again and that she preferred being single, and that I didn’t do anything wrong myself). Throughout our relationship, however, I continued to do street game and try to get numbers anyway to try and hone my skills and make it easier to get another girlfriend in case we didn’t last.
By this point, I both have zero approach anxiety, and can strike up a conversation fairly effortlessly. Between 3 – 8 conversations from 12 approaches in a day is virtually guaranteed. However, to date, I’ve only managed to get 73 phone numbers. 73 phone numbers from 1,325 approaches, to be honest, strikes me as a pretty paltry number-to-approach ratio. Especially when you consider that only about half of those numbers, at best, could actually be expected to respond. Mind you; until recently, I at least seemed to be improving pretty consistently. At my peak, I was able to get roughly one number every second day. One two days in a row and two in one day if I got lucky. Recently, however, that seems to have declined to about one number every week or so, and I can’t figure out why, because I don’t think I’m doing anything major differently now from what I was doing before. (This started
before I reduced the number of approaches per day from 12 to 6, which I did to try and take some of the pressure off to see if it made a difference). Rather than continue to try and see if ChatGPT could figure it out, I thought it might be time to post about this here instead for some flesh-and-blood advice.
I’ve gradually devised and tinkered with my routine over time based on a combination of the instructional videos, ChatGPT’s advice, and personal experience. At present, my routine is as described in the following two paragraphs. I do my approaches between 11:30 AM and 3:30 PM on both weekdays and weekends. I do them, on a rotating basis, in shopping high streets, a university campus and a waterfront adjacent to my city’s central business district––both the best outdoor venues I have found/can think of, as well as the only outdoor venues I realistically can/could do them in. I do them dressed in casual clothes (I wouldn’t have the energy to do this every day if I dressed in a collared shirt, chinos, dress shoes, etc. every day). I approach women who are on their own, who look roughly within my age (approx. 25 – 40) and attractiveness (approx. 4 – 6 out of 10) range, who are either standing/sitting in place if possible or walking in my direction if necessary, and who don’t look too busy (i.e… are not on their phone).
I open with a directions opener incorporating a false time constraint (“Hey s’cuse me, sorry to bother you, gotta go in two minutes; would you by any chance happen to know of any nice coffee shops along this street or in this neighborhood?”). Then, irrespective of whether they say yes or no, I follow with a flirt/tease/qualifier with a push/pull tacked on (“I just thought you had this explorer/hipster look about you, like you might be the sort of woman who knew her coffee. I’m not sure if I love it or hate it.”). This elicits a smile and/or laugh from them about 80% of the time. A significant percentage of the time, they’re busy and pull away by this point. If they don’t, however, I then transition to banter by observing something about their hair and comparing it to my own (I have silky, black, longer-than-waist-length hair––with this having become my attention-grabber/talking point/selling point). We’ll then proceed to banter about our hair for 1 – 2 minutes. If, at any point, they smile at me during this, I’ll add another flirt in the form of: “You’ve got this really cute smile on your face right now; like you’re thinking of something cheeky”, which, again, usually elicits a smile and/or laugh. Finally, I’ll check my phone and reinvoke the time constraint, and at this point, if I think we’ve vibed well enough, I’ll attempt to close for a number (“You seem very nice and sweet. Let’s grab a coffee ourselves sometime!”). Overall, the interactions tend to take between about 3 – 4 minutes. And at present, whether I get a number or not seems to depend overwhelmingly on whether we happen to vibe well from the get-go or not, which, alas, doesn’t seem to happen very often.
I have the following ideas on what I might be doing wrong:
- The banter might be too oriented around myself, and not be affording the women enough opportunities to talk about themselves. (The problem here is that the timeframe during street approaches tends to be extremely short, and I need to be quick).
- Until recently, I was attempting to test a new tweak every week, and this might have led to the routine becoming overengineered, and myself too neurotic about fitting all the tweaks in. I might want/need to concentrate on relaxing and going with the flow more.
- The banter about my hair might be too “girly”.
In light of everything I’ve described above, what do people here think I might be doing wrong, and what do you think I should be doing instead?
, but he will be set up with a trust fund.
