"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Has anyone tried dating in Silicon Valley?

bigneil

bigneil

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I have a job opportunity in Silicon Valley, which I hear is the single worst dating area in the world - where nerdy millionaires have to hold special events to find dates. I'm in Florida now in a retirement area so it's not much better here (nothing but waitstaff basically - no career women), though it's 52% women here versus 48% women there.

Has anyone tried dating in the San Jose area? Is it really that bad? I might have another opportunity in Austin, TX which I hear is a great dating scene.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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B

between

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Go for it. I would kill to live in Silicon Valley. There are attractive chicks no matter where you travel.
 
bigneil

bigneil

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I heard that for women there "The odds are good, but the goods are odd". So it might not be that bad if you're not a nerd. In my one night in San Mateo 4 years ago, an attractive woman approached me at my dinner table so I always assumed it was a good dating area. But I'm leaning toward Austin where there is no state tax, lower cost of living and no gun restrictions.

Sunnyvale (where the job is) was voted #1 city in America to date a nerd:

http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=12410
 
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B

between

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No state tax? That's pretty sweet. Texas has always sounded interesting to me. Of course, I live in Kentucky so the cost of living is null, and gun laws haven't quite made it to our state as of yet.

You should go with the more comfortable of the two as far as living conditions go.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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