"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Hard trek to the altar

sodbuster

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Tell you the same thing I told my sons... "it's STANDARD equipment,not an option... ALL women have one,hers isn't special"
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Scaramouche

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Dear Slowhand,
I think you are a Journalist,and probably female?
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Sodbuster,
"Tell you the same thing I told my sons... "it's STANDARD equipment,not an option... ALL women have one,hers isn't special" You are precious!!!
 

slowhand

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UPDATE: Of course, Peg is a Facebook addict. I recently gave her a challenge to make some commitment to me: to apply for jobs in LA and the like. I ignored her calls for a few days, waiting for her to leave a phone message about her job search. Instead, she posted (visible to the public) that I should change my status to "single," and her page shows that she joined a dating app.

In my opinion, the time she devoted to cheating could just as easily have been spent applying for jobs in LA. I drove to Sacramento to have it out with her. She wouldn't accept any compromise. She wants to be free to hook up with random pricks. So be it.

I drink myself into oblivion. It'll be a wonder if I pass any of my classes. But it's over and can't ever be fixed.
 

sodbuster

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WHY for the love of God would you want to "fix" this? You just got rid of a major pain in the azz that I wouldn't allow in my life for any longer than it took to bang her[IF she was lucky to last that long]
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Buddha_Mind

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Brother,

Do not destroy yourself over a woman!

It's not worth it!

We've all felt it!

The better question to ask: Why don't you think you deserve better than this crazy bi.tch!?
 

Kailex

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slowhand said:
I drink myself into oblivion. It'll be a wonder if I pass any of my classes. But it's over and can't ever be fixed.
Wait a second, you are going to drink yourself into a frenzy over this "woman"? I thought you were 53, where are your balls, man?

Why would you want to ever fix this?

Life has given you EVERY single chance and sign to get OUT of this relationship and you have chosen to NOT see the signs every single time. This thread reminds me of the drowning man waiting for God to save him from the ocean.

Dude, if you want to drink, drink because you are CELEBRATING.
IT'S OVER.

THIS IS A GOOD THING.

But to come on here and say you are going to flunk classes because of a woman?

I had a friend like that... he flunked his classes because he was depressed over some chick that dumped him for a guy 5 times his alpha... and then he screwed up his GPA and then there were other consequences to that... too many to list.

Don't screw up your life just when it's going to START getting better.

What do you gain by drinking yourself over this chick and then flunking some classes, to boot?

MAN THE EFF UP.
 

iqqi

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This guy is a male BPD, easy to read.

Sad situation. He sounds like a girl, very extremely over dramatic and fatalistic about something that is quite obvious.
 

lifeislearning

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Wow OP, guess I won't jump on the shared (and mutual) consensus that a relationship with this woman is an unwise decision.

I will however share a circumstance of mine. Cindy and I had a hurtful and immature relationship when we were just two dumb inexperienced kids. We said we were in love, in retrospect we were obsessed with each other, and no amount of agony, self-inflicted or otherwise, could change our minds.

Fast forward through a crushing breakup, failed attempts on both parts to woo the other, and finally, a year without contact. We met to exchange some old things and started dating again but this time, lo and behold, things were different. Not just better, but great! Easily one of the best relationships of my life.

Why? What was different?

Answer: 3 simple things. 1-We had both dated and not found the same desirable traits we sought in a partner. 2-We had matured considerably and learned a great deal about ourselves and how to keep a relationship healthy. 3-We BOTH wanted to be better, as individuals and as a couple, than we had been before.

Does your potential relationship have these 3 qualities? From what you say, I think no, but I don't know you, you tell me.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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sodbuster

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He's in his 50's. She's in her 30's. think they should have grown up by now. Can't see it working.
 
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