"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Hard trek to the altar

sodbuster

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Tell you the same thing I told my sons... "it's STANDARD equipment,not an option... ALL women have one,hers isn't special"
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Scaramouche

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Dear Slowhand,
I think you are a Journalist,and probably female?
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Sodbuster,
"Tell you the same thing I told my sons... "it's STANDARD equipment,not an option... ALL women have one,hers isn't special" You are precious!!!
 

slowhand

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UPDATE: Of course, Peg is a Facebook addict. I recently gave her a challenge to make some commitment to me: to apply for jobs in LA and the like. I ignored her calls for a few days, waiting for her to leave a phone message about her job search. Instead, she posted (visible to the public) that I should change my status to "single," and her page shows that she joined a dating app.

In my opinion, the time she devoted to cheating could just as easily have been spent applying for jobs in LA. I drove to Sacramento to have it out with her. She wouldn't accept any compromise. She wants to be free to hook up with random pricks. So be it.

I drink myself into oblivion. It'll be a wonder if I pass any of my classes. But it's over and can't ever be fixed.
 

sodbuster

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WHY for the love of God would you want to "fix" this? You just got rid of a major pain in the azz that I wouldn't allow in my life for any longer than it took to bang her[IF she was lucky to last that long]
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Buddha_Mind

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Brother,

Do not destroy yourself over a woman!

It's not worth it!

We've all felt it!

The better question to ask: Why don't you think you deserve better than this crazy bi.tch!?
 

Kailex

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slowhand said:
I drink myself into oblivion. It'll be a wonder if I pass any of my classes. But it's over and can't ever be fixed.
Wait a second, you are going to drink yourself into a frenzy over this "woman"? I thought you were 53, where are your balls, man?

Why would you want to ever fix this?

Life has given you EVERY single chance and sign to get OUT of this relationship and you have chosen to NOT see the signs every single time. This thread reminds me of the drowning man waiting for God to save him from the ocean.

Dude, if you want to drink, drink because you are CELEBRATING.
IT'S OVER.

THIS IS A GOOD THING.

But to come on here and say you are going to flunk classes because of a woman?

I had a friend like that... he flunked his classes because he was depressed over some chick that dumped him for a guy 5 times his alpha... and then he screwed up his GPA and then there were other consequences to that... too many to list.

Don't screw up your life just when it's going to START getting better.

What do you gain by drinking yourself over this chick and then flunking some classes, to boot?

MAN THE EFF UP.
 

iqqi

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This guy is a male BPD, easy to read.

Sad situation. He sounds like a girl, very extremely over dramatic and fatalistic about something that is quite obvious.
 

lifeislearning

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Wow OP, guess I won't jump on the shared (and mutual) consensus that a relationship with this woman is an unwise decision.

I will however share a circumstance of mine. Cindy and I had a hurtful and immature relationship when we were just two dumb inexperienced kids. We said we were in love, in retrospect we were obsessed with each other, and no amount of agony, self-inflicted or otherwise, could change our minds.

Fast forward through a crushing breakup, failed attempts on both parts to woo the other, and finally, a year without contact. We met to exchange some old things and started dating again but this time, lo and behold, things were different. Not just better, but great! Easily one of the best relationships of my life.

Why? What was different?

Answer: 3 simple things. 1-We had both dated and not found the same desirable traits we sought in a partner. 2-We had matured considerably and learned a great deal about ourselves and how to keep a relationship healthy. 3-We BOTH wanted to be better, as individuals and as a couple, than we had been before.

Does your potential relationship have these 3 qualities? From what you say, I think no, but I don't know you, you tell me.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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sodbuster

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He's in his 50's. She's in her 30's. think they should have grown up by now. Can't see it working.
 
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