"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
HandyAndy's progress journal
- Thread starter HandyAndy
- Start date
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
For the past 2 days ive had really nasty tailbone pain. Its very sharp when I sit on it, so today was extremely uncomfortable for me on the bench press and leg press.
Bench Press 5x3 (I raised the bar 5 pounds today, i got 155.) This set felt really good, I was pushing it and i felt great at the end.
Leg Curls 5x2 at 140lbs, Im not used to doing this excersize..its fun though. Like I said my tailbone was really hurting today but I got the job done.
Leg Press 5x3 380lbs. Im still pushing the 380 hard, ill try to up the weight starting monday if I can.
Deadlift 5x3 160. This felt a bit easy for me, ill most likely raise the bar on Monday a few pounds.
7:10am: I had 2 eggs and some toast, protein shake.
12:30: Chicken, rice and veggies, water and fruit.
4:40: Chicken breast and veggies, orange juice, protein shake and a multivitmin.
At 10:00am we have a 20 minute break and brunch is served, I dont usually eat then, should I? They usually have bean burritos, coffee cake and whatnot.
5x3 Bench Press 155, set felt good, i was really pushing it at the end, i barley made it.
Leg Press 5x3 390, I raised the weight 10 lbs, i was pushing this set really hard though, i could tell my legs are going to be sore tomorrow
They gym get remodeled and they, for some reason, took out the leg curls, so i just stayed with the leg press today.
5x1 Deadlift, I raised the weight today to 175, I still need to work on my form, i wasnt really struggling but it was def. a challenge.
8x2 dips.
7:00am - Bowl of cereal, fruit
for some reason I didnt eat like I should be today...
the whole day I didnt eat until I got home
4:30pm - rice, chicken, veggies, protein shake and fruit
I was talking with a friend today, hes ripped as hell, and has a low BF%. He told me to do cardio right after i workout, but man...im getting really confused with this stuff, i dont feel like the stationary bike is working for me becuase after my sprinting session for 15 mins, i bikes 5 miles and only burned 140 calories?!? I need some advice on this plz
Alright...today was a good day!
5x3 Bench Press, 160lb (yay i upped it 5lbs :box
This set was awesome I just made it at the end, im going to be sore for sure.5x3 Leg Press 390lb, (I also raised the weight here) I was pushing this hard, ill try to hit 400 in the next couple weeks!!:cheer:
5x1 Deadlift 170lb, I still feel my form on this is bad, I look in the mirror and my back is slumped and whatnot, ill try to fix this or maybe the weight is too heavy?
2x8 Bench Dips
5mins HIIT on stationary bike
Today was awesome I felt like a did work
Ugh, im still struggling on my diet, sometimes I forget to eat..how stupid of me. I didnt eat much this morning until after I worked out, before my workout I had 3 pieces of steak, post-workout I had a protein shake, homemade chicken taquitos, water and a multivitamin
Well that was it for today, please give advice
Quagmire911
Master Don Juan
On a Sunday for example make seven meals worth of beef. Have one the same day, keep one in the fridge for the next day, and freeze the other five and have them on the subsequent days after that. That is one meal taken care off per day.
As for the deadlift, look up elite fts for deadlift tips and try stronglifts.com as well. Look into the sumo deadlift if you can't seem to get the hang of conventional. Look on elitefts for sumo deadlifts if need be.
And are you doing three sets five reps? OR five sets three reps? It is meant to be the first option on Rippetoe.
Anyway keep it up you are doing well,
Quagmire
Ps-I read in another thread that you are tall, it may also be better for you to squat using a really wide stance. Something to think about when you attempt to start squatting again...
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Yeah i am tall, and when I used to squat a used a stance wide enough that it hit the posts that were holding the squat rack itself up. I dont know how to explain. But when I stand straight, my knees touch and i cant touch my feet together, even if i force it, ill try to take a pic and show you what im talking about. Thanks for the help tho. and thanks for the stronglifts website its very helpful
5 min warmup on bike, 15 mins HIIT, 5 min cooldown.
10:00am: 2 Waffle squares with a little bit of syrup.
12:00pm: 2 scrambled eggs
Snack: I had like 2 bags of frozen peaches lmao, those are so goood, that cant be bad for you I suppose.
2:30pm: Leftover chicken toquitos from yesterday, good protein
Post workout, 5:30: 4 pieces of chicken breast.
This is it for today guys
Quiksilver
Master Don Juan
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We don't need to be nitpicky about eating yet, because we're still young. But it's good to get solid eating habits down early.
Buy lots of tupperware and ziplock bags, and spend 10 minutes on sunday night getting everything ready for the week. I cook for 2 days at a time, and just put the meals in their baggies/containers right off the stove, and straight into the refrigerator.
At school, I brought a big lunch box that would go in my locker(and later, car) filled with all the containers i needed for the day + a few ice packs to keep it fresh.
just simple things that make it all easier so you dont even have to think about food.
keep it up!
Heres what went down:
5x3 Military Press 40lb dumbbells, not much to say about this exercise, I think I raised it 5lbs from the last time, I might be able to do 45s, this felt a bit easy.
5x3 Leg Press 390lb, This felt good, I was really pushing it, but I started to feel a little pain in my knee, is this because I suddenly put a bunch of weight/pressure on it? Is there a way to warm up your knees before exercising? Like I said before, ill try to raise it to 400 in the next couple weeks.
5x3 Bent over rows 60lb dumbbells, also, not much to say about this, my goal is to raise this 5 lbs, i probably can
after working out i hopped on the bike and did 5 mins of sprinting on and off (I wont call it HIIT, you guys would go crazy...) then i cooled down for a few minutes, I was tired as hell, but it felt awesome
11:00am: egg and hashbrown omlette
12:00pm: protein shake fruit smoothie...yum
03:00pm: Another fruit smoothie, no protein, strawberries, bananas, peaches, milk.
04:00pm: Pasta + suace, brocoli, cauliflower, carrots, etc.
5:40 (post-workout) More pasta, protein shake, 1 liter of water and a multi-vitamin..
:cheer:
Also, heres something Mehdi from stronglifts told me:
I know you can't squat, knees will buckle in all the time, and your whole hips are tight. Start with a lot of hip mobility/glute activation. That will loose up things. Ankle mobility too while you're at it. (all of that is on the blog, use the search).
You indeed won't cure this overnight, but if you continue doing this, the weakness will get worse and one day you'll get an injury, whether at the gym or in daily activities. You can be pretty sure it will be your knee you'll hurt (if you don't already have knee pain).
Im not sure what to make of it...
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Quagmire911
Master Don Juan
:cuss: Not good in the middle of training.HandyAndy said:
Yeh, you need to start squatting again as soon as you can. Leg press is not a long term solution. What are you doing to improve flexibilty/work on being able to squat again?
And read this:
http://www.ironaddicts.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3404
Quagmire911
Master Don Juan
I know how you feel, I hate squats too. Perseverance is the key though, I will not be beaten by it. I have been stuck at around 250lbsx1 for an age. I will get over 300lbs rain, hail, or shine. Then 400...HandyAndy said:
Look into a wide stance. I think you told me you are inflexible and you are tall so you will be better to suited to a wide stance. Also look on stronglifts.com for lots of stretching etc. You probably have tight hip flexors/hamstrings etc etc...
You just need to work at it and eventually it will come.
What I would probably do for you is to have you start doing high box squats, and week by week lower the box height. Whilst practicing form, making sure to maintain your arch etc. Eventually you will be able to do it, it will just take time. Will be worth it in the end.
Try and get a video of you squatting with a light weight, or as high as you feel you could go without f**** something up, so we can try and help you out a bit more.
Keep it up...
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Quagmire911
Master Don Juan
http://stronglifts.com/how-to-keep-your-knees-out-on-squats/
Read the other articles as well.
On another note: Why is the word outwa.rd being starred as a cuss word?
Quagmire911
Master Don Juan
I tried squats today :cheer:
Bench Press
5x2- 115lb Warmup
5x1- 165lb, too heavy to finish 3 sets, I lowered.
5x1- 160lb
5x1- 160lb
Benching felt good as usual, 165lb felt tough in the beginning so ill stay at 160 until I feel like I can raise.
Squats for the first time, I actually did pretty well, my form wasnt that bad either, I had bad form because I was lifting too much weight to start with months ago.
So for the first time:
Squats
5x1- Bar Warmup
5x1- 95lb
5x1- 115lb
5x1- 115lb
Yeah Im weak at squats, but this is the weight I can do without my form getting sloppy, Im not at parallel yet, but getting there.
Deadlift
5x1- 175, I still feel my form is slacking, It just doesnt look right in the mirror.
8x2 Dips, not much to say about this.
5 min warmup on bike, 5mins HIIT, 5 mins cooldown.
*buys new strawberry protein*
11:00am- 3 Scrambled eggs and homemade hashbrown on the side
01:00pm- 3 cheese quesadillas
05:00pm (post workout) 70oz of water, protein shake, made myself a healthy sandwich and drank some diet green tea, Im still getting food ready, so ill be eating a couple more meals as the day goes by.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.