Handling deaths from your loved ones

[Travel memoir21]

Guys Im at a stage in my life where family members are dying within a few short years after each other. Just this April, my Uncle and his wife past away from my Mom side. Now I have an uncle also on my Mom's side on the virge of death and he's now in the hospital with a ventillator machine. What gets to me the most is how my Mom is treating this like it's just an everyday casual thing. If it were me right now and people in my immediate family were dying I'd be super depress sad about it. I guess my Mom is at an age where she sees it at as just a natural part of life like taking birth but to me it I just can't process it yet. Can you give me some spiritual or wise perspective on how to handle this stage of my life and how to see it naturally like my mom does?

 

[crowolf]

Well, since you ask, I'll give you the most blunt answer I can. Being agonized from someone's death is very egoistical. A person's life path has finished. And you suffer? Why? Because you are more lonely without this person. That's all. Suffering from someone's death is all about attachment and self-pity. In reality, there is nothing you can do to return this person back. And if this person is up there or flying around as a ghost, or whatever - do you think s/he will want you to waste your time grieving? No.

So the key is: acceptance and understanding.

 

[CoolWave1331]

Sorry brother. The truth is it's hard for everybody. There's lots of good videos/books on the subject, but when it happens you're never really prepared and it will always be hard. This is life, it's inescapable fact.

The thing that makes (the most) sense to me is to appreciate the people while they are around. There's lots of families split because of stupid arguments & then people unexpectedly die and fill with guilt. "I wish I could've fixed things when I had the chance". You can't really change the impact that the loss will be have but you can build up and store great memories with relatives to look back on.

 

[corrector]

I told my late Aunt I loved her a month before she died and had said my peace when she was alive. That is all I want to remember as the last time.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Death is simply a part of life. It's the worst part of it, but a part that you need to come to terms with.

It's one of the only guarantees you get in this world...that one day it will come for you too.

I'm not saying don't be sad or don't grieve appropriately, but if you are letting it effect your day to day after many months still then that's an issue that you'll need to address.

 

[Mike32ct]

It sucks to lose someone. No doubt about it. But you get to take the good memories and what you learned from that person and run with it. And that’s EXACTLY what they would want you to do.

My best female friend died of cancer recently. Her last words to me were “You can escape now Mike.”

In other words, I think she meant “Get outta here and move on bro. You’ll be fine without me.”

I know you were more specifically asking about loss of family. I lost my mom way back, so I know about that too. The point I’m making still stands.