Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Handling deaths from your loved ones

Travel memoir21

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 20, 2020
Messages
1,119
Reaction score
701
Age
39
Location
Rio Grande Valley, Texas
Guys Im at a stage in my life where family members are dying within a few short years after each other. Just this April, my Uncle and his wife past away from my Mom side. Now I have an uncle also on my Mom's side on the virge of death and he's now in the hospital with a ventillator machine. What gets to me the most is how my Mom is treating this like it's just an everyday casual thing. If it were me right now and people in my immediate family were dying I'd be super depress sad about it. I guess my Mom is at an age where she sees it at as just a natural part of life like taking birth but to me it I just can't process it yet. Can you give me some spiritual or wise perspective on how to handle this stage of my life and how to see it naturally like my mom does?
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

crowolf

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
156
Reaction score
122
Well, since you ask, I'll give you the most blunt answer I can. Being agonized from someone's death is very egoistical. A person's life path has finished. And you suffer? Why? Because you are more lonely without this person. That's all. Suffering from someone's death is all about attachment and self-pity. In reality, there is nothing you can do to return this person back. And if this person is up there or flying around as a ghost, or whatever - do you think s/he will want you to waste your time grieving? No.

So the key is: acceptance and understanding.
 

CoolWave1331

Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2025
Messages
50
Reaction score
34
Age
30
Sorry brother. The truth is it's hard for everybody. There's lots of good videos/books on the subject, but when it happens you're never really prepared and it will always be hard. This is life, it's inescapable fact.

The thing that makes (the most) sense to me is to appreciate the people while they are around. There's lots of families split because of stupid arguments & then people unexpectedly die and fill with guilt. "I wish I could've fixed things when I had the chance". You can't really change the impact that the loss will be have but you can build up and store great memories with relatives to look back on.
 

corrector

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
10,014
Reaction score
3,820
I told my late Aunt I loved her a month before she died and had said my peace when she was alive. That is all I want to remember as the last time.
 
Last edited:

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
15,240
Reaction score
16,619
Death is simply a part of life. It's the worst part of it, but a part that you need to come to terms with.

It's one of the only guarantees you get in this world...that one day it will come for you too.

I'm not saying don't be sad or don't grieve appropriately, but if you are letting it effect your day to day after many months still then that's an issue that you'll need to address.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,178
Reaction score
4,806
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
It sucks to lose someone. No doubt about it. But you get to take the good memories and what you learned from that person and run with it. And that’s EXACTLY what they would want you to do.

My best female friend died of cancer recently. Her last words to me were “You can escape now Mike.”

In other words, I think she meant “Get outta here and move on bro. You’ll be fine without me.”

I know you were more specifically asking about loss of family. I lost my mom way back, so I know about that too. The point I’m making still stands.
 
Last edited:
Top