"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

had to get this off of my chest..

PokerStar

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Messages
635
Reaction score
63
Location
Location
Hey Guys,

I just got word from a close friend of mine is that he might have testicular cancer. what immediately came to my mind is the pain and suffering he will face. All I wanted to do is hug my friend and tell him that anything that he needs I am here for him.

He still has to go through several tests but it doesnt look good at all.

I feel helpless that I cant take his pain away. A good guy like that shouldnt have to suffer. I know its life. but it still pains me that I cant do anything to help. I am wiping the tears from my face as I write this.

My friend also told that Im the only person that knows and since we both have the same large circle of friends, i cant talk to anyone about this. thats why I am typing it here. to me, typing about it is helping me deal with my feelings.

it just hurts.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

PokerStar

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Messages
635
Reaction score
63
Location
Location
it does man.

thats why we cat take nothing for granted.
 

ChalengeGuyFan

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 5, 2008
Messages
521
Reaction score
19
On the plus side, testicular cancer responds quite well to treatment, if found early.
Good luck and health to your friend!
Keep your head up! He will be well! :)
 

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
5,429
Reaction score
7,965
Age
57
I'm sorry to hear about your friend. The good news is you can be a bright light for him. Don't treat him like he is sick, but listen when he feels like talking about it. Banter with him and spend time with him. Just be around and be light hearted.

One of my girlfriends was diagnosed recently with breast cancer. She had a double mastectomy and is starting chemo. It's scary and its harrowing to see someone you know going through this. My friend is doing well so far and has an amazing fighter's attitude, but I know she had to get her head wrapped around the situation in order to come up fighting. Your friend will more than likely go through a similar process. Be encouraging and supportive. My friend's attitude is "well, once chemo is over, I'm going to get a set of really pretty new boobs." And your friend will find his own way to cope.

Be his friend and be supportive. Show him you love him.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Serenity

Moderator
Joined
Aug 19, 2013
Messages
5,150
Reaction score
5,057
Age
35
Location
Eye of the storm
A co-worker had that. It was discovered when he went to get sterilized, he was almost immediately sent to surgery. Within 3 days one of his testicles was removed and he was fine when checked later. It always scares me to hear about people I know getting any kind of cancer, it's one of very few things that really makes me sad to hear. I cannot imagine living in uncertainty whether my life continues or not, other than it being very distressing.

Just to be clear, I have no idea about the circumstances for your friend compared to this situation. I'm not saying it could be resolved quickly for him, I'm just sharing a story.
 
Top