Gym game, the battle against headphones

[UK manc]

From experience, the majority of people at the gym (indeed, everywhere) are open for a general quick chat.

Headphones are an absolute killer though.

The great thing about the gym is you can drop a quick one-liner short comment, and see who is totally focussed on the workout (or limited for time) or who can chat for a minute or two. You're all moving about between equipment so it's not a constrained environment like a bar.

But drop a line to someone with headphones in, wait three or four seconds for them to "mute" or whatever, then say stuff again, maybe twice if they misheard, and it goes awkward af very quickly.

(It feels similar to when headphones started being worn in work offices mid 2010s. Those people miss out on so much. You also end up associating songs with venues... I don't want my favourite music to be linked mentally to gym or work!)

 

[Novice1]

This is why instead of gyms i go to training pools, running/hiking spots, not only that its tiring -i mainly approach someone when we're at rest during reps. I once entered a gym with a friend, this idiot did 3x10 bicep curls then proceeds to doom scroll half an hour

 

[Cheeky_James]

Duuuude.
Have you considered they are wearing headphones for a reason ? Ie to put dudes off approaching them at the gym?

do you think women want to be seduced whilst doing a workout… cmon .

edit: I used to do hot yoga, I’m lolling to myself imagining a scenario of trying to hit on a chick during a hot yoga class.

 

[jhonny9546]

it goes awkward af very quickly.

Yes this is sad.

Infact I do not wear them, and I don't approach people with headhphones.

Here’s an interesting thing. (Both women were headphones free)
Yesterday I was at the gym and a girl asked me which barbell weighed 10 kg, so I told her the one she’d picked up only weighed 7.
Two minutes later, another girl nearby pretended she couldn't get a piece of squat equipment to lock into place, so I went over to help and pointed out that she was trying to put it in the wrong way around.

So, did I take this as flirting or just a case of helping out?
You’ll never know for sure with women unless you ask.
Then, based on her answer, you’ll find out.

In my scenario, girl 1 was attractive, I will follow up her in the next sessions, and open some conversations with her, test waters, and ask her out.
Girl 2 still attractive but really too tall for me, I won't ask her out.

 

[Novice1]

Girl 2 still attractive but really too tall for me, I won't ask her out.

Brother ask her out. when you guys are in bed resting, that height anxiety will disappear bcuz u 2 would have a level eye contact

 

[UK manc]

Duuuude.
Have you considered they are wearing headphones for a reason ? Ie to put dudes off approaching them at the gym?

do you think women want to be seduced whilst doing a workout… cmon .

edit: I used to do hot yoga, I’m lolling to myself imagining a scenario of trying to hit on a chick during a hot yoga class.

I know plenty who'll happily take headphones off and then have a 20 minute chat around sets. Wearing them is usually because they want their own music rather than the gym's.

You never really get a "I don't want to talk to you" impression...maybe just "I've only got 45 mins".

The nuisance thing (which I didn't really explain in the OP) is that there can be clear buying signals, and yet then that 5-10 seconds of awkwardness which breaks any vibes.

I think it's fairly sad that.it is a social environment full of high-achievers, sober, regulars who obviously recognise each other...but rarely talk. This isn't about treating it as PUA place.

 

[Cheeky_James]

Yes this is sad.

Infact I do not wear them, and I don't approach people with headhphones.

Here’s an interesting thing. (Both women were headphones free)
Yesterday I was at the gym and a girl asked me which barbell weighed 10 kg, so I told her the one she’d picked up only weighed 7.
Two minutes later, another girl nearby pretended she couldn't get a piece of squat equipment to lock into place, so I went over to help and pointed out that she was trying to put it in the wrong way around.

So, did I take this as flirting or just a case of helping out?
You’ll never know for sure with women unless you ask.
Then, based on her answer, you’ll find out.

In my scenario, girl 1 was attractive, I will follow up her in the next sessions, and open some conversations with her, test waters, and ask her out.
Girl 2 still attractive but really too tall for me, I won't ask her out.

yes dude they are both flirting w you,
Always take that situation and flex your flirt back also

 

[UK manc]

Yesterday I was at the gym and a girl asked me which barbell weighed 10 kg, so I told her the one she’d picked up only weighed 7.
Two minutes later, another girl nearby pretended she couldn't get a piece of squat equipment to lock into place, so I went over to help and pointed out that she was trying to put it in the wrong way around.

So, did I take this as flirting or just a case of helping out?
You’ll never know for sure with women unless you ask.

Yeah just help, ask em what they are training today. If it ends there, walk...if they ask your workout, start sperging about bro-splits and rep ranges...

 

[Cheeky_James]

I know plenty who'll happily take headphones off and then have a 20 minute chat around sets. Wearing them is usually because they want their own music rather than the gym's.

You never really get a "I don't want to talk to you" impression...maybe just "I've only got 45 mins".

The nuisance thing (which I didn't really explain in the OP) is that there can be clear buying signals, and yet then that 5-10 seconds of awkwardness which breaks any vibes.

I think it's fairly sad that.it is a social environment full of high-achievers, sober, regulars who obviously recognise each other...but rarely talk. This isn't about treating it as PUA place.

oh true.
hmmm if there are clear buying signals , then that pause shouldn’t break the vibe .. idk
I mean if the signals are there , she’ll be engaging w you , i would have thought.

20 min chats is really good.

btw have you actually had results from approaching at the gym?

 

[UK manc]

20 min chats is really good.

btw have you actually had results from approaching at the gym?

I'm only getting back into this just recently..so will have to report back in time on results...

The impression I've got is that "third spaces" (community spaces) have collapsed...gym is one of the very few left now where you get to see familiar faces. Social circle game I suppose, rather than "approaching"..this is also 7a.m. rather than nighttime type stuff.

Ps. 20 mins would be with a fellow bro.

 

[Cheeky_James]

Ps. 20 mins would be with a fellow bro.

that was the bit I loll’d at.

idk man. I hear and read a lot of pushback from women about gym approaching,
From what I’ve heard from one particular girl (v good looking) - if women like a dude at the gym , they make it easy for him and really obvious with proximity and stupid’ excuses’ to interact w him.
“Ohhh I can’t do x, can you help me plz”

Ref Johnnys 2 examples above .

Johnny aka ‘Mr Beautiful Eyes.’
he gets blatant iois all the time afaics from his posts.

but yes I agree third spaces / community spaces have collapsed with the smartphone revolution. (They are a terrible invention imo.)

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

There's no such thing as a 'battle against headphones'. That's just a b*ullsh*t excuse guts have come up with to justify why they can't approach a girl who's wearing them.

I myself don't work out at a gym and therefore I don't approach at the gym, but I do approach girls anywhere and everywhere else regardless of whether they're wearing headphones or not.

All you have to do to approach a girl who's wearing headphones is to get in her line of sight so she notices you visually (since she likely won't be able to hear you), and make it obvious you want to say something to her - look her directly in her eyes and perhaps even gesture with your hand(s) to get her attention. I find that most of the time, the girl will simply take her headphones off/out and then you can launch into your approach verbally as normal.

It's that simple, and there is ZERO reason not to approach a girl you find attractive who is wearing headphones, only nonsense excuses.

In the small number of cases where a girl wearing headphones blanks/shuns you, just move on to the next girl.

It also nonsense if you believe a girl is wearing headphones because she 'doesn't want to be approached'. The fact is, you don't know that - she could just enjoy listening to music or a podcast etc.

I never concern myself with whether a girl does or doesn't want to be approached. There's no foolproof way to know that upfront before approaching her anyway - even IOIs can be misleading. I just approach whichever girls I find attractive, any time, any place, shoot my shot to the best of my ability (direct approach in my case), and let things unfold from there.

If it turns out she's receptive and interested, then great. If she isn't, no problem - I gracefully move on to the next girl. But I don't come up with nonsense excuses like 'she's wearing headphones', 'she doesn't want to be approached' etc.

And for the record, I've successfully approached many girls who were wearing headphones, so there you go. In fact, the more guys who don't approach girls wearing headphones, the more girls for me!