Guys, is this a rebound relationship?

[QuadDeuces]

Well if her ex is replaced after a week by a new "soul mate" you know how fast you will be replaced once another "soul mate" comes along.

 

[onitalways]

Update: She messaged the ex and said, "I'm here for you if you need to talk, I'm a good listener, but not if you want to talk about us." This was with regards to the death in the family. I don't know whether he'd want to meet her now, but I guess this confirms they HAVEN'T been meeting since they split.

There is no need for signs... People who have shared a relationship for 3 years ARE still attached to each other so soon after the breakup, there is no question about it. You don't need any signs to know that...

But if a girl's BPD then they can forget someone fast, right?

Well if her ex is replaced after a week by a new "soul mate" you know how fast you will be replaced once another "soul mate" comes along.

Hmmm...I don't know if it was replaced so quickly necessarily. They had broken up twice before. She has said that it was along the lines of her ex not wanting to be more a part of her family (she has kids). To be honest, I'd prefer if she just said something about how she was already emotionally moving on from the relationship before the breakup with the ex, but she hasn't said that to me.

 

[Die Hard]

But if a girl's BPD then they can forget someone fast, right?

Yes, if she is BPD, she has probably moved on from him already. Also, if she's BPD, she will be a great and loving partner to you.

 

[onitalways]

Yes, if she is BPD, she has probably moved on from him already. Also, if she's BPD, she will be a great and loving partner to you.

I take it that was sarcastic?

I don't understand - one minute you say there's no way someone can get over their ex that fast, but then you say they can?

Like I say, she messaged him (I saw on her phone) to say she was there if he wanted to talk, but this was about the death in his family. Don't think that's too bad?

 

[TheWolfMan]

Dude, just tread lightly and have fun with it. Don't let yourself get too serious I mean you've only known her for a couple of weeks right? You're talking like you've been with this chick for years. The whole multi-year marriage and then the 3 year long thing with her ex should be a serious RED FLAG to you. I'd hold off on the whole meeting each others' kids too.

 

[JoeMarron]

Haaaa bro youre gonna get fked at this rate. You shouldnt be moving this fast with ANY chick much less one that you suspect of being BDP. Stop treating her as if she were your sole purpose for living when youve only known her for 2 weeks. Go date other women, live your life, hobbies ect. and PLEASE read the DJ bible. You have no excuse to be this ignorant.

 

[onitalways]

Haaaa bro youre gonna get fked at this rate. You shouldnt be moving this fast with ANY chick much less one that you suspect of being BDP. Stop treating her as if she were your sole purpose for living when youve only known her for 2 weeks. Go date other women, live your life, hobbies ect. and PLEASE read the DJ bible. You have no excuse to be this ignorant.

Yeah, I know I've said some AFC things, but she seems to be really interested and especially LOVES being showered with attention. This isn't an early 20s bimbo we're talking about, this woman is mid-30s and different. I'm giving her LOTS of attention, and I think it's making her forget her ex.

 

[betheman]

Yeah, I know I've said some AFC things, but she seems to be really interested and especially LOVES being showered with attention. This isn't an early 20s bimbo we're talking about, this woman is mid-30s and different. I'm giving her LOTS of attention, and I think it's making her forget her ex.

unless you put a ring on her finger soon you wil lose her

 

[onitalways]

unless you put a ring on her finger soon you wil lose her

Well she's not the jumping short (the long marriage and the long relationship). She is mid 30s with kids. Compliments seem to work with women like this.

 

[onitalways]

Read the DJ Bible ASAP

Will do. I have read stuff before which suggests not to compliment too much. She's kinda low self-esteem (puts herself down a bit). She's not a beauty queen type is what I mean. Surely it's different for this type of girl!?

But she's LOVING it now! Will she not in the future?

 

[betheman]

Will do. I have read stuff before which suggests not to compliment too much. She's kinda low self-esteem (puts herself down a bit). She's not a beauty queen type is what I mean. Surely it's different for this type of girl!?

But she's LOVING it now! Will she not in the future?

she will live it even more, why procrastinate? its valntines day, get on that bended knee and submit your very soul to this most angelic creature that God himself has seen fit to presetn you with, a gift from the heavens no less

 

[onitalways]

Well I'm glad to say we're still together. Despite her randomly bringing up the ex in conversation. I don't know why she needs to tell me that he contacted her. Why do women do that?

 

[betheman]

Well I'm glad to say we're still together. Despite her randomly bringing up the ex in conversation. I don't know why she needs to tell me that he contacted her. Why do women do that?

to make you jealous, to be aware that should you drop the baton, there is some other guy ready to catch it before it hits the floor and that his c0ck will be in her mouth before you get back to your home.
that makes you take your eye of your priorites, you value her even more, your head becomes full of 'what ifs' then you start to develop the mentality that you cant do without her, you become dependant...its in the bag my dear boy. she has won!

 

[onitalways]

to make you jealous, to be aware that should you drop the baton, there is some other guy ready to catch it before it hits the floor and that his c0ck will be in her mouth before you get back to your home.
that makes you take your eye of your priorites, you value her even more, your head becomes full of 'what ifs' then you start to develop the mentality that you cant do without her, you become dependant...its in the bag my dear boy. she has won!

She's only messaged him a couple of times since they split just over a month ago.

 

[JoeMarron]

Yeah, I know I've said some AFC things, but she seems to be really interested and especially LOVES being showered with attention. This isn't an early 20s bimbo we're talking about, this woman is mid-30s and different. I'm giving her LOTS of attention, and I think it's making her forget her ex.

All I see is you rationalizing why you should take this relationship seriously when everyone has given plenty of reason not to. Not only are you breaking the fundamental rules of the game but youre doing it with a low self esteem bdp chick. Reread this thread a billion times when everything blows up so youll know never to put yourself through this madness again.

 

[Die Hard]

Just give it up, guys. onitalways cannot be helped. I've exchanged PM's with him back and forth last week, trying to get through to him. But he just can't accept reality and keeps twisting the facts so they fit the reality he has in his head.
He totally disregards and does not listen to any advice you give him, unless that advice supports the idea that this relationship can work!

In other words, don't waste your time on this guy. He's gonna have to crash&burn and learn the hard way. As a matter of fact, I don't even think he will learn from that. He's just THAT ignorant...

 

[onitalways]

Die Hard,

What do you mean I keep twisting facts and only taking on advice that supports the relationship working!? Why do you think I'm still posting here? Why do you think I posted here in the first place? This is a place for guys to get advice on relationships, is it not? If I thought 100% that this relationship would work, then why would I still be posting here...why would I post here at all!

Come on, man.

I want to know if people think the ex is going to come back into the picture based on what I've said here. That's why I keep mentioning him and that's why I keep asking for advice on that.

 

[onitalways]

Despite what people have said in this thread, we're still together.

 

[onitalways]

When does a rebound stop being a rebound and move out of rebound territory?

 

[happygilmore]

that's because you have retained NOTHING of what they have told you. They have experienced it first hand, and it's the only way you are going to learn unfortunately.

you're still together yes, and you're STILL POSTING....which means she has your head spinning already. the ex this, the ex that....listen to yourself man. Get a grip