Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
good luck, how did it go?Originally posted by whatsupwiddat
Perfect. I have a date in... lets see. 1 hour 24 minutes.
Hehe wish me luck bros!
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Whats wrong with paying on the first date? Do you really not want to pay for it? Or is it beacuse someone on this site told you that? I always pay for my first dates, and it shows class. BUT i dont always pay for the dates after that, once youve gone out with the girl once, u dont always have to be the one to pay. Usually, the girl offers to pay on the first date, and i say somethng like "nah i got it, how about you pay for our next date" this makes things even, she dosent feel bad for me paying, and it gets me another dateOriginally posted by tracy Jaks
Are you talking about 1st date, or are these the rules for any date?
Cuz if your talking 1st date you full of ****.
You dont pay on the 1st date, well you could buy her some candy or a drink or something, you dont give gifts on the first date thats chumpy.
You do these things on the 1st date then you st yourself up to be walked all over.
Why do you put cologne behind your ears and wtf s the chap sitck all about.
Also you aint gunna get laid on the first date. unless you get her drunk.
apart from that
good post.
Click that button that says.....edit?Originally posted by dip
how do i edit my post..i wanna add more stuff!!
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
This has been said numorous times, but i'll humor you:Originally posted by Tempest
for the first get together, i usually invite them along with me to go to the mall, and tell them i need to buy my sister's birthday gift, or whatever. during the date i'm sure to bust on her constantly, i'm C/F, i misinterpret things that she says and just have FUN. i lead the way and take control on the date. if we're in a store together, i usually walk away from her for awhile to another part of the store, and let her find me (shows that you're not clingy or desperate to be around her). of course, one aspect which i'm sure to do while being C/F is to be a gentlemen, like by opening doors. another good thing to do when walking along the sidewalk with her, the male is suposed to walk on the outside of the sidewalk (closest to the road). this was a gentlemanly thing to do in the olden days. it was incase a car drove out onto the sidewalk and you'd get by it, instead of her.
Ironically that wasn't always the case, back in like the 1800's and before there was no plumbing (go figure), so then the woman would stand on the right side of the sidewalk so that when people threw there waste out the window, the men would get hit instead of the woman, it actually switched more lately, you are right about the cars, but i hardly consider the early 19th century the "Olden days" when this transition happened after hundreds of years of one way
or even if there was a puddle and a car drove by, you'd get wet and not her. you can even explain that concept to her. she'll be impressed.
either way, there are still tons of other things to do with a girl, besides wasting money on her with the first date. read deangelo's book or listen to the series. i can't elaborate deeply into this, as i'm still learning myself.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.