"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Guide to a successful "date"
- Thread starter dip
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
whatsupwiddat
Master Don Juan
Hehe wish me luck bros!
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
tracy Jaks
Don Juan
Cuz if your talking 1st date you full of ****.
You dont pay on the 1st date, well you could buy her some candy or a drink or something, you dont give gifts on the first date thats chumpy.
You do these things on the 1st date then you st yourself up to be walked all over.
Why do you put cologne behind your ears and wtf s the chap sitck all about.
Also you aint gunna get laid on the first date. unless you get her drunk.
apart from that
good post.
Whats wrong with paying on the first date? Do you really not want to pay for it? Or is it beacuse someone on this site told you that? I always pay for my first dates, and it shows class. BUT i dont always pay for the dates after that, once youve gone out with the girl once, u dont always have to be the one to pay. Usually, the girl offers to pay on the first date, and i say somethng like "nah i got it, how about you pay for our next date" this makes things even, she dosent feel bad for me paying, and it gets me another date
.Cologne behind the ears? Why? If youve ever been to the movies with a girl, you should know that they like to rest their head on your shoulders. Would you like her to smell your dirty ears?! Cologne there can only help..not hurt...
Suppose you were out with a girl, and you were having a good time. The night was coming to an end, and you wanted to kiss her to seal the night. As you go in for the kiss, you see her dry, chappy lips. Would you kiss her? would you want to hang around her?! it shows bad hygene and ish.. NOW, im not saying that you have dry lips, but some people here do, so thats why i said it
Why cant you get laid on the first date? Read some speed seduction post's and learn, it can be done, and ive done it. I know many girls who get laid on the first date, and sometimes i only go out for girls lookin for some ass'
pz!
oakraiderz2
Master Don Juan
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Canadianpimpology
Senior Don Juan
Hmmm try it again, or ask Matrix to add what you want.
SoonToBeDJ
Don Juan
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- Oct 4, 2003
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jonny football hero
Master Don Juan
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
paying for dinner? are you trying to buy her affection? are you trying to bribe her with dinner first, so that she'll go out with you and you can secretly convince her into liking you? buying her flowers? wtf.
for the first get together, i usually invite them along with me to go to the mall, and tell them i need to buy my sister's birthday gift, or whatever. during the date i'm sure to bust on her constantly, i'm C/F, i misinterpret things that she says and just have FUN. i lead the way and take control on the date. if we're in a store together, i usually walk away from her for awhile to another part of the store, and let her find me (shows that you're not clingy or desperate to be around her). of course, one aspect which i'm sure to do while being C/F is to be a gentlemen, like by opening doors. another good thing to do when walking along the sidewalk with her, the male is suposed to walk on the outside of the sidewalk (closest to the road). this was a gentlemanly thing to do in the olden days. it was incase a car drove out onto the sidewalk and you'd get by it, instead of her. or even if there was a puddle and a car drove by, you'd get wet and not her. you can even explain that concept to her. she'll be impressed.
i prefer not to pay for dates. i like to tease them while setting up for the date. i usually tease for them to pay and say things like, "i'm really looking forward to that movie you've promised me. when are you going to pick me up?" and ask them, "how else do you plan to maintain the lifestyle that i've been accustomed to?", ect.
either way, there are still tons of other things to do with a girl, besides wasting money on her with the first date. read deangelo's book or listen to the series. i can't elaborate deeply into this, as i'm still learning myself.
This has been said numorous times, but i'll humor you:
Do whatever works for you, if you can get away with not paying, all the better. But there are no laws set in stone, so do whatever you want to do.
That book's (DYD) alright, he gives you a VERY sugar coated kind of point of views, and thats expected because it helps sales, and he did help me. I was subscribed to his tips for quite a while, but i just outgrew the need to hear the things over and over.
Sure you can do dates like windowshopping, parks, etc that don't cost anything. Dip wasn't promoting dinner and a movie, all he was saying is that you could do it.
You'll realize the more painful truths of being a don juan in time than what he portrays in those books.
And on a final note:
Welcome to the boards, hope you learn something
also, i know how u feel about paying for her, it really depends on how ur relationship is with her. if u just met her and ur taking her to a park, she should deff. pay for her own ticket...if ur going out to dinner with her, it looks cheap/shady attempting to sort out how much her meal was, then asking her for the money..
and about the flowers, ive never done that! but i know that some of you like to...so i just wanted to let you all know not to bring roses
That date didn't go too well either afterwards. I apparantly had busy hands, so I responded saying "I'm a busy guy.
"Anyway she was an attention *****.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.