"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
grinding with chicks. is it an ioi
- Thread starter choonight
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
You went to the club with a group, you ended up grinding with the girls you went to the club with from your group and you're wondering if they want you.
Let me break down something to you. Every saturday night all over the world there are groups of people going to the club together AND DANCING TOGETHER! Anytime you take girls to the club either by yourself or in a group 99% of the time they are likely to be dancing with you. It's part of club culture. Groups dancing around each other or with each other. It doesn't mean that hor that was grinding on you all of a sudden is madly in love with you. The previous week she was probably grinding on some other dude it doesn't mean a thing.
Instead of being confused making threads on this forum and thinking some hor now all of a sudden wants you because of a little grinding why don't you keep it simple? Call this girl that was grinding on you and ask her out. Stop complicating yourself.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
IOIs as isolated things seem pretty dumb to me. If you're just starting you may not have a sense for when things are going well. But you'll develop it soon, and then you won't need to worry about some little thing she did.
1 Bad Dude
Don Juan
Sure it is. In dancing.
I want to build on what f283000 has said. Stop treating girls like there some whole complete social being with all the answers and social programming that you somehow didn't get. They get nervous and insecure and unsure just as much as any guy. There are several reasons a girl will grind dance on you. First, she can get away with it on the dance floor. It becomes an excuse for questionable behavior. Like alcohol is for sleeping with you. Second, she's getting comfortable doing something with you, a guy she doesn't care about, so she can do it confidently to the guy she's head over heals for. Third, it IS just dancing to her. And fourth, she likes you.
Grinding with you should be taken as validation. That she found you attractive enough to do it with. And. She felt you were grounded enough NOT to make a huge deal out of it. If you make a huge deal out of it, you destroy your social proof with her. They don't want to fvck on the dance floor. If they did, they'd become p0rn stars. STOP WATCHING P0RN. The best thing to do is treat it like it is. Dancing. Go sit down somewhere and carry on like normal. Build on the dancing. "You like dancing?" blah blah. "I like dancing with you. Me and my boys go out every sat. You should bang with us <haha> I mean hang with us" blah blah. "Cool. let me get your number." Take her dancing a few more times. Viola! You get HB social proof and a potential fvck buddy. Just keep escalating the dancing.
Thats it. Other girls will take notice of how cool you handle her grinding.