Great job offer from ex company, but fear of failure

[xplt]

I have a decision to make and pressure myself with fear of failure. So I wanted to ask you guys, what you think about my current situation.

My former boss from a company I left over ten years ago, contacted me last weekend and made me an offer for a position as CISO (Chief Information Security Officer). We had some lose contact over the last years, so he knows what I'm doing jobwise and he asked me on several occasions, if I could imagine working there again - I always declined.

I made my vocational education in this company and stayed for two years after finishing it as a sysadmin. My contract wasn't prolonged back then because I was going through a hard time and failed a project miserably. My boss tried to rescue the situation for me, because he didn't want me to leave, but HR declined.
I was 22 back then and not very experienced with life. I wasn't able to separate my work from private issues. Something like that never happened to me again. Losing this job changed myself into being more disciplined and driven, because as a result I set high aspirations for myself. So I don't regret to have failed back then, although it was very hard for me. I built a solid career in IT over the last years and made plenty of experience. Having an offer from them again feels somewhat strange, but I'm also pleased because I really liked working there.

However, I was thinking about his offer constantly over the last days and I want to give it a try. A position as CISO in an enterprise IT infrastructure will give my career and finances a boost like never before. Also Cybersecurity is a big passion of mine.

Thinking about working with old coworkers and even friends again, who all saw me failing once pressures me hard. With 34 I'm not the same as with 22, perhaps I just overthink. But i can't get my head out of that fear right now.

Would you go back to an ex company, where everyone saw you fail? Is it worth putting this pressure on yourself or am I just thinking too much again?

What's waking up all these doubts is the fact, that I have to engage in subjects in this position, I've never encountered before. Like business impact analysis, etc.

 

[samspade]

Everybody fails. It's part of learning and growing. You know you're a different person now, and it sounds like your boss does, too. Believe me, your old coworkers probably don't think of your mistakes the way you do - if at all. It's just your ego magnifying things.

If you want to give it a shot, do it. Just try to be in the moment and stop projecting your past onto your present and future. Like you said, you've built a solid career and you have a lot to be proud of, so internalize the mindset that you're accomplished, experienced, and battle-tested. Your mistakes were just part of it and you are spinning them into gold now.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You can spend your whole life being afraid and live with regret or you can choose to make a decision to believe in yourself.

I know what I would do.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Go for it!
We all look on our past and think to ourselves that everyone else’s remembers our blunders too. Know what? They are too focused on their own past blunders to remember much about our own.

Think of this as being a virgin and not being able to give her your all and *now* You’ve got the experience And can give it to her *real* good!

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Also...nobody has ever succeeded without failing first. Failure is your best teacher. You learn far more from it than anything else. However, smart people learn more from other people's failures than from their own.

 

[xplt]

Thank you all for your responses!

Your answers and perspectives went constantly through my head the last days and I made the decision to take the offered position.

That's the best offer and chance I ever had in my career and sure I would regret it hard, not taking it.
I worked hard over the last years to get a job, that gives me the duties I will perform in this postition.

Believe me, your old coworkers probably don't think of your mistakes the way you do - if at all. It's just your ego magnifying things.

We all look on our past and think to ourselves that everyone else’s remembers our blunders too. Know what? They are too focused on their own past blunders to remember much about our own.

I'm now sure, too, that I thought to much about that part. I met my ex colleagues on several ocassions and parties over the last years and no one ever brought up anything negative. I left on good terms and my ego seems to be the only thing that tries to stand in my way.

I had another phone conversation yesterday where I clearly stated, that I miss the skillset of the business subjects that I have to cover in this position. They are aware of it and want to offer me the position solely because of my technical skillset. I get all the time and resources to aquire the rest.

So with any doubts aside, my recruitment process starts in about two weeks.

Thank you all.