I've been dating my girl for 2 years. Everything has been beautiful. The only issue we have right now is she is very pessimistic about me going to law school as far as she feels my personality is going to change and I won't be the fun loving person I was before I went in..All the people who she knows who went to law school became *******s including her brother....When she tells me these things it has an affect on me to the point where I have doubts about going to law school...Law School has never been a passion for me...I just want to get an advanced degree so I figure why not law plus I'm at a job that I like right now but it doesn't seem like I'm going anywhere...Should I tell her to stop being so pessimistic or what? Give me some understanding on whats going on in her mind?
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Grad School and Relationship
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
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- Nov 15, 2004
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All she's doing is relating to experience. She's encountered more than one bad experience with people who have gone to law school.
Look at this way. If every religious chick you've dated was a nutcase, wouldn't you be a little worried if your current non-religious gf decides she's gonna start going to church?
It's the same thing. Situations like this don't just happen to women, it happens to everyone.
Look at this way. If every religious chick you've dated was a nutcase, wouldn't you be a little worried if your current non-religious gf decides she's gonna start going to church?
It's the same thing. Situations like this don't just happen to women, it happens to everyone.
Seriously though... just tell her that you got to know her before law school, and you're not gonna change... even if your outlook at the world will probably change, you're still gonna be the same to her, because you knew her years before you got into it.
Congrats if you can read that. I don't feel like making complete sentences today.
Congrats if you can read that. I don't feel like making complete sentences today.
belividere
Master Don Juan
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I started grad school with a girlfriend of just a few months at the time. We kept it up for a year and half. School did change me though I'm not in Law school so I cant speak for it. It was a huge challenge and I am extremely busy. What was worse was her trying to change me though. The changes from school were positive although stressful. She was just obnoxious, glad it's over and that her attempts failed.
I can tell you though if you aren't passionate it might not be the best choice. But I wouldn't pass up a chance if it is what you want to do and see a better future for yourself then if you hadn't. She might not be there in 10 yrs but a better career can be. Dont let her generalizations worry you either. As much as you guys are in a relationship it is still your life and future. She has no right to be pessimistic about that. Anyways just my two cents
I can tell you though if you aren't passionate it might not be the best choice. But I wouldn't pass up a chance if it is what you want to do and see a better future for yourself then if you hadn't. She might not be there in 10 yrs but a better career can be. Dont let her generalizations worry you either. As much as you guys are in a relationship it is still your life and future. She has no right to be pessimistic about that. Anyways just my two cents
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.