Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Got the girl. Hit a snag.

Oswald

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Hey fellas,

I've been a reader of these boards for almost a 1.5 years. Fantastic stuff.
I've never had much problem attracting the ladies, thanks to the fact that I have two smooth older brothers who pretty much showed me the ropes. However, I have rather little experience when it comes to LTRs.

Here's the background info. I'm 18, met an 18-year-old chick about three months ago. She's very inexperienced -- only ever kissed a guy before me, so I had to take it slow. We've been serious for about two months now and I think this one is a keeper for now. I know she's very into me, because she's conservative but we've already had sex. Plus, she says she loves me.

Ok, now part of the reason why she was a tough catch was because she was still hurting over a past crush. Some guy who she was into for a long time and who she kissed a few times (he sounds like a cool cat but an AFC to the bone) broke her heart about five months ago. They cut off contact. Cold turkey.

Well, about the time we started dating, he starts contacting her again, over IM and phone and they actually were very close friends for a long time, so they get to chatting again, etc. I figure she's with me so nothing to worry about.

Now, a few days ago she tells me on the phone (I'm away from home now so we're doing "long distance" for three weeks -- no biggie) that her ex, Peter, told her he wants to meet up with her before he leaves for school. Being a girl, she totally doesn't see that he's probably trying to get his foot in the door again, and she thinks that since they were such good friends and now on talking terms again, she wants to hang out with him a little before he moves away.

When she told me this, I totally kept my cool, told her to go ahead and have fun. I figured that I would look weak if I overreacted. From past conversations she knows I have zero tolerance for cheating and she told me right after "you have nothing to worry about." Of course, I told her I knew I have nothing to worry about and cut off the conversation on a high note.

My question to you all: Should I just forget about it and not even inquire if they met up? Should I be worried? I feel like since I'm gone, there really isn't anything I can do. What are your thoughts? Does this one seem like a lost cause?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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JohnJones

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Maybe you should do a search for posts like lunch with the ex or that kind of thing. There's a lot of collective wisdom in those.
 

Oswald

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Originally posted by JohnJones
Maybe you should do a search for posts like lunch with the ex or that kind of thing. There's a lot of collective wisdom in those.
I actually did a search on this topic before posting, since i know how annoying FAQs are from newbies. Couldn't find anything though. Still would like to hear your opinions.
 

Oswald

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I figured that's all I could do, but it's still not a fun feeling. Part of me wishes she had kept her mouth shut and hadn't told me. Argh. Random hookups are so much easier on the mind. You finally find a good fish and the worry begins.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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check_mate_kid_uk

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well photo 1 i totaly aggree i was about to say the same thing but realised you beat me to it. Oswald you have nothing to wory about because what ever her ex wants to meet her for, if shes not intrested then nothings gona happen. The fact she told you means shes not intending to cheat on you, she sees it as no big deal, you have notihng to wory aobut, if she was gona cheat she wudnt have told you, im positive about this. Anotherthing is that girls (and guys) dnt necciserly want to got out agian with an ex, as i read in the bible today "the pool has already been pissed in" i think everytinhg is perfectly safe.

hope ive been a help
 

Oswald

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Thanks for the pep talk guys.

I'm positive she has no intention now of cheating, or else she wouldn't have told me about meeting with the ex, as you said CheckMateKid. However, my concern was that she would experience a rush of all those old feelings after spending some time with this guy. Well, I'll just wait it out like you all said. Thanks for the help.
 
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