You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
It was started by me, saying she was ****ed up - it's not possible she was seeing someone else, because she was on vacation at the same time with her parents. Also, it's not something that she does - I can assure you of this.Last Man Standing said:This is a classic "break-up" - dude is gone for a few weeks he comes back - a petty argument ensues she then over-reacts and blows it out of proportion - blames it on dude and calls him "selfish" - she then claims "I need space" - dude then apologizes profusely to no avail - why to no avail? Because she has been seeing another dude for the past few weeks/months and has pre-planned the outcome and needed a pretext to blame the dude for her leaving!!! This is a classic run of the mill exit strategy scenario!!!
What was the initial argument about? You never told us.
Did you have good reason to say such?? If so, then you should not have been with her if you thought so lowly of her! If you stated such without cause then maybe she tired of you and left for good reason!absolutealex said:It was started by me, saying she was ****ed up - it's not possible she was seeing someone else, because she was on vacation at the same time with her parents. Also, it's not something that she does - I can assure you of this.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Yeah, anything is possible but I don't believe that was the case this time.Last Man Standing said:...
Yes, it is possible for her to have been with another dude -- it happens millions of times everyday -- just because you are not aware of it doesn't make it so!!
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Alright, but this isn't really news. Women will do this type of thing to get a reaction (remember, they enjoy the rush they get from drama). Either you are going to fall prey to her web or you are going to go about your business, it's your call.absolutealex said:okay, I am almost certain now - she is playing games with me. I know this shouldn't even bother me, but on her AIM it says "getting a tattoo tomorrow!" During our relationship, she always knew I hated them and would joke around about getting one. The way I see it, is if you really wanted to get one - you wouldn't announce it to the world, you'd just do it.
eh she told me she wanted to meet tomorrow 2 nights ago, I figure it's going to be brought up in the meeting. I thought I'd say something along these lines, "I'd hate to see you ruin that beautiful body of yours, but it's really your decision and not mine, but if you must [recommend tattoos here]."Francisco d'Anconia said:Alright, but this isn't really news. Women will do this type of thing to get a reaction (remember, they enjoy the rush they get from drama). Either you are going to fall prey to her web or you are going to go about your business, it's your call.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Is the tatoo that bad?absolutealex said:eh she told me she wanted to meet tomorrow 2 nights ago, I figure it's going to be brought up in the meeting. I thought I'd say something along these lines, "I'd hate to see you ruin that beautiful body of yours, but it's really your decision and not mine, but if you must [recommend tattoos here]."