absolutealex
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2004
- Messages
- 56
- Reaction score
- 0
Basically she was wrong, I was right.. but she thinks she's right.. it was kind of bad. I discredited her and her best friend, what do you guys suggest?
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Got in a fight with the girlfriend
- Thread starter absolutealex
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Charm&Style
Master Don Juan
wait till she comes to her senses...in a couple of days if she doesnt contact you..give her a call.
I-am-someone
Senior Don Juan
Oh boy... a fight...
What's the big deal?
Fights happen, they're a part of life. You can't always agree!
What's the big deal?
Fights happen, they're a part of life. You can't always agree!
Charm&Style
Master Don Juan
relationships with out a once-in-a-while fight get boring
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Yeah, but calling her out among her friends is never productive. Now instead of just having one person pissed off at him, he has several. And guess what they are doing when he's not around. Being right is one thing, doing what works is another.Aaron B said:Always do your best to retain your composure while calmly stating the facts.
You did the right thing by calling her on this. Now that she is caught, she is upset.
What exactly happened?
absolutealex
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2004
- Messages
- 56
- Reaction score
- 0
We planned to meet up, we're hanging out for about 15 minutes - her best friend makes an international call to her with a crisis. She says it's a really big deal and asks me to leave - I am bothered by this.
Just be cool and let her go.absolutealex said:We planned to meet up, we're hanging out for about 15 minutes - her best friend makes an international call to her with a crisis. She says it's a really big deal and asks me to leave - I am bothered by this.
Obviously it was important to her. If it starts happening frequently then thats different.
You have to give your woman freedom to do what she wants to do.
Also, hanging out doesn't sound very exciting.
absolutealex
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2004
- Messages
- 56
- Reaction score
- 0
She was having the stomach flu - so there was not much to be done. However, it really bugged me so I brought it up to her and a fight ensued. This morning, she told me that I was really selfish and have not heard from her since.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Not surprising. Why did it bug you so much anyway?absolutealex said:She was having the stomach flu - so there was not much to be done. However, it really bugged me so I brought it up to her and a fight ensued. This morning, she told me that I was really selfish and have not heard from her since.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
absolutealex
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2004
- Messages
- 56
- Reaction score
- 0
Mainly because, I had just come back from vacation and had not seen her for about 2 weeks and also I was stuck in meetings all day and was not able to make it over until later in the afternoon, which meant I was sitting in traffic for a good hour.
absolutealex
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2004
- Messages
- 56
- Reaction score
- 0
advice from my 2 buddies:
buddy #1: "Dude she is ****ting on your face and not even calling it a sundae, ignore her, call her up in a few days and be like I'm sorry come to dinner, then when she comes tell her you forgot."
buddy #2: "What are you doing, drive over there right now and work it out even if she is ignoring you."
buddy #1: "Dude she is ****ting on your face and not even calling it a sundae, ignore her, call her up in a few days and be like I'm sorry come to dinner, then when she comes tell her you forgot."
buddy #2: "What are you doing, drive over there right now and work it out even if she is ignoring you."
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Sounds tough. Do you think she deserved the wrath of your frustration? I mean, she hadn't seen you for a couple of weeks and probably missed you. You were busy and couldn't see her as soon as you got back. She was probably anxious to see you and unfortunately her friend from another country got sick and felt that the only person they could call (internationally) was your girl. Then to top it off her guy blows up at her. Can you see how she could perceive you as selfish?absolutealex said:Mainly because, I had just come back from vacation and had not seen her for about 2 weeks and also I was stuck in meetings all day and was not able to make it over until later in the afternoon, which meant I was sitting in traffic for a good hour.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Well, at least you have only two choices. The question is whether you'd rather be right or would you rather do something that will work.absolutealex said:advice from my 2 buddies:
buddy #1: "Dude she is ****ting on your face and not even calling it a sundae, ignore her, call her up in a few days and be like I'm sorry come to dinner, then when she comes tell her you forgot."
buddy #2: "What are you doing, drive over there right now and work it out even if she is ignoring you."
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
.dp
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
absolutealex
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2004
- Messages
- 56
- Reaction score
- 0
Oh I mean my girl had the stomach flu, her friend had a separate issue.. but I guess from that POV, it makes me a worse person.Francisco d'Anconia said:Sounds tough. Do you think she deserved the wrath of your frustration? I mean, she hadn't seen you for a couple of weeks and probably missed you. You were busy and couldn't see her as soon as you got back. She was probably anxious to see you and unfortunately her friend from another country got sick and felt that the only person they could call (internationally) was your girl. Then to top it off her guy blows up at her. Can you see how she could perceive you as selfish?
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
First and foremost you're probably not a bad person, your feelings are valid. However, your actions could use a bit of an adjustment. The good thing is that you realize albeit a little late, that there was another point of view.absolutealex said:Oh I mean my girl had the stomach flu, her friend had a separate issue.. but I guess from that POV, it makes me a worse person.
So, whaddaya think you should do given that the two of you have valid points?
absolutealex
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2004
- Messages
- 56
- Reaction score
- 0
Well, after some reflection last night - I realized this whole situation is FUBAR cause no matter what way you cut it, someone was being selfish. So, there's no resolution to the problem at hand, because each party thinks they're right. Alas, there is no use in arguing about this because no one is going to win. I feel that the only to "win" so to swallow my pride and say that I am wrong.Francisco d'Anconia said:First and foremost you're probably not a bad person, your feelings are valid. However, your actions could use a bit of an adjustment. The good thing is that you realize albeit a little late, that there was another point of view.
So, whaddaya think you should do given that the two of you have valid points?
absolutealex
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2004
- Messages
- 56
- Reaction score
- 0
But see don't you guys think going over there is a bit desperate? I kinda feel like maybe she needs her space.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Whoa... It's scary when the only seemingly viable solution is self castration... Especially when it isn't.....absolutealex said:Well, after some reflection last night - I realized this whole situation is FUBAR cause no matter what way you cut it, someone was being selfish. So, there's no resolution to the problem at hand, because each party thinks they're right. Alas, there is no use in arguing about this because no one is going to win. I feel that the only to "win" so to swallow my pride and say that I am wrong.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.