absolutealex
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2004
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Basically she was wrong, I was right.. but she thinks she's right.. it was kind of bad. I discredited her and her best friend, what do you guys suggest?
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
Yeah, but calling her out among her friends is never productive. Now instead of just having one person pissed off at him, he has several. And guess what they are doing when he's not around. Being right is one thing, doing what works is another.Aaron B said:Always do your best to retain your composure while calmly stating the facts.
You did the right thing by calling her on this. Now that she is caught, she is upset.
What exactly happened?
Just be cool and let her go.absolutealex said:We planned to meet up, we're hanging out for about 15 minutes - her best friend makes an international call to her with a crisis. She says it's a really big deal and asks me to leave - I am bothered by this.
Not surprising. Why did it bug you so much anyway?absolutealex said:She was having the stomach flu - so there was not much to be done. However, it really bugged me so I brought it up to her and a fight ensued. This morning, she told me that I was really selfish and have not heard from her since.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Sounds tough. Do you think she deserved the wrath of your frustration? I mean, she hadn't seen you for a couple of weeks and probably missed you. You were busy and couldn't see her as soon as you got back. She was probably anxious to see you and unfortunately her friend from another country got sick and felt that the only person they could call (internationally) was your girl. Then to top it off her guy blows up at her. Can you see how she could perceive you as selfish?absolutealex said:Mainly because, I had just come back from vacation and had not seen her for about 2 weeks and also I was stuck in meetings all day and was not able to make it over until later in the afternoon, which meant I was sitting in traffic for a good hour.
Well, at least you have only two choices. The question is whether you'd rather be right or would you rather do something that will work.absolutealex said:advice from my 2 buddies:
buddy #1: "Dude she is ****ting on your face and not even calling it a sundae, ignore her, call her up in a few days and be like I'm sorry come to dinner, then when she comes tell her you forgot."
buddy #2: "What are you doing, drive over there right now and work it out even if she is ignoring you."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Oh I mean my girl had the stomach flu, her friend had a separate issue.. but I guess from that POV, it makes me a worse person.Francisco d'Anconia said:Sounds tough. Do you think she deserved the wrath of your frustration? I mean, she hadn't seen you for a couple of weeks and probably missed you. You were busy and couldn't see her as soon as you got back. She was probably anxious to see you and unfortunately her friend from another country got sick and felt that the only person they could call (internationally) was your girl. Then to top it off her guy blows up at her. Can you see how she could perceive you as selfish?
First and foremost you're probably not a bad person, your feelings are valid. However, your actions could use a bit of an adjustment. The good thing is that you realize albeit a little late, that there was another point of view.absolutealex said:Oh I mean my girl had the stomach flu, her friend had a separate issue.. but I guess from that POV, it makes me a worse person.
Well, after some reflection last night - I realized this whole situation is FUBAR cause no matter what way you cut it, someone was being selfish. So, there's no resolution to the problem at hand, because each party thinks they're right. Alas, there is no use in arguing about this because no one is going to win. I feel that the only to "win" so to swallow my pride and say that I am wrong.Francisco d'Anconia said:First and foremost you're probably not a bad person, your feelings are valid. However, your actions could use a bit of an adjustment. The good thing is that you realize albeit a little late, that there was another point of view.
So, whaddaya think you should do given that the two of you have valid points?
Whoa... It's scary when the only seemingly viable solution is self castration... Especially when it isn't.....absolutealex said:Well, after some reflection last night - I realized this whole situation is FUBAR cause no matter what way you cut it, someone was being selfish. So, there's no resolution to the problem at hand, because each party thinks they're right. Alas, there is no use in arguing about this because no one is going to win. I feel that the only to "win" so to swallow my pride and say that I am wrong.
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.