absolutealex
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2004
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Basically she was wrong, I was right.. but she thinks she's right.. it was kind of bad. I discredited her and her best friend, what do you guys suggest?
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.
These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.
Yeah, but calling her out among her friends is never productive. Now instead of just having one person pissed off at him, he has several. And guess what they are doing when he's not around. Being right is one thing, doing what works is another.Aaron B said:Always do your best to retain your composure while calmly stating the facts.
You did the right thing by calling her on this. Now that she is caught, she is upset.
What exactly happened?
Just be cool and let her go.absolutealex said:We planned to meet up, we're hanging out for about 15 minutes - her best friend makes an international call to her with a crisis. She says it's a really big deal and asks me to leave - I am bothered by this.
Not surprising. Why did it bug you so much anyway?absolutealex said:She was having the stomach flu - so there was not much to be done. However, it really bugged me so I brought it up to her and a fight ensued. This morning, she told me that I was really selfish and have not heard from her since.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Sounds tough. Do you think she deserved the wrath of your frustration? I mean, she hadn't seen you for a couple of weeks and probably missed you. You were busy and couldn't see her as soon as you got back. She was probably anxious to see you and unfortunately her friend from another country got sick and felt that the only person they could call (internationally) was your girl. Then to top it off her guy blows up at her. Can you see how she could perceive you as selfish?absolutealex said:Mainly because, I had just come back from vacation and had not seen her for about 2 weeks and also I was stuck in meetings all day and was not able to make it over until later in the afternoon, which meant I was sitting in traffic for a good hour.
Well, at least you have only two choices. The question is whether you'd rather be right or would you rather do something that will work.absolutealex said:advice from my 2 buddies:
buddy #1: "Dude she is ****ting on your face and not even calling it a sundae, ignore her, call her up in a few days and be like I'm sorry come to dinner, then when she comes tell her you forgot."
buddy #2: "What are you doing, drive over there right now and work it out even if she is ignoring you."
You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.
These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.
Oh I mean my girl had the stomach flu, her friend had a separate issue.. but I guess from that POV, it makes me a worse person.Francisco d'Anconia said:Sounds tough. Do you think she deserved the wrath of your frustration? I mean, she hadn't seen you for a couple of weeks and probably missed you. You were busy and couldn't see her as soon as you got back. She was probably anxious to see you and unfortunately her friend from another country got sick and felt that the only person they could call (internationally) was your girl. Then to top it off her guy blows up at her. Can you see how she could perceive you as selfish?
First and foremost you're probably not a bad person, your feelings are valid. However, your actions could use a bit of an adjustment. The good thing is that you realize albeit a little late, that there was another point of view.absolutealex said:Oh I mean my girl had the stomach flu, her friend had a separate issue.. but I guess from that POV, it makes me a worse person.
Well, after some reflection last night - I realized this whole situation is FUBAR cause no matter what way you cut it, someone was being selfish. So, there's no resolution to the problem at hand, because each party thinks they're right. Alas, there is no use in arguing about this because no one is going to win. I feel that the only to "win" so to swallow my pride and say that I am wrong.Francisco d'Anconia said:First and foremost you're probably not a bad person, your feelings are valid. However, your actions could use a bit of an adjustment. The good thing is that you realize albeit a little late, that there was another point of view.
So, whaddaya think you should do given that the two of you have valid points?
Whoa... It's scary when the only seemingly viable solution is self castration... Especially when it isn't.....absolutealex said:Well, after some reflection last night - I realized this whole situation is FUBAR cause no matter what way you cut it, someone was being selfish. So, there's no resolution to the problem at hand, because each party thinks they're right. Alas, there is no use in arguing about this because no one is going to win. I feel that the only to "win" so to swallow my pride and say that I am wrong.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.